Finding The Joy In Life

Life has it's challenges, but there is the joy along the way.  Trying really hard to not let our family challenges take me over with grief.  I did that last week again and I have got to stay positive and not let the sorrow over take me. I"m feeling much better today.  Fun to hold our granddaughter yesterday, hard to believe it has been two weeks since she was born.  Saydee Bug is at Tasha's home for a few days to help her with the boys while Bridger is out of town for the week.  Tasha is doing great in managing her little family.  Newborns are so very special!!  We took our large trailer out to Shannon last night.  She is wanting to get all the junk out of her house and get it ready to sell.  I'm going out today to help her sort and start getting rid of things.  She has a hard time parting with things.  We need to get her house cleaned and make it ready for sale.  This is the goal this week to work hard and get it ready to put up a for sale sign.  I've got my work cut out for me for a few days!!

Baby Aniston 2 Weeks Old Today!

 Anniston Faye Thomas, she is so precious!!

 Winston with his baby sister

Bridger with his two boys Winston & Lincoln

Stopped On Our Way Home To see Baby Anniston

She is so darling !!  Two weeks old tomorrow.  Newborns are so precious!!  Grandmother Debbie holding our newest granddaughter.

Saturday At The Lake

Craig & I finally made it up to the lake Thursday evening.  Tasha and Bridger left late afternoon so I missed seeing the baby. We will stop on our way home tomorrow to see our newest baby girl.  She will be two weeks old on Monday.  It has gone by so fast.  We had a nice evening and day with the Burbidge family. Glad they didn't go home on Thursday so we could spend some time with them.  I have been cleaning up. There is always lots to do.  It feels good to have it tidy, sit down to relax and enjoy a quite evening at the lake with family all gone.  I'm in no hurry to go home.  It feels so good to just sit out on our deck and enjoy the summer shaded porch we have.  Our new cabin has turned out really nice.  Nice to have the family here, but sure nice to have some quite time too.

 Lincoln & Boston hanging out at the Lake on 24th of July

Our Little Winston almost two years old in August, He's not baby Win any more with his new baby sister.

Wednesday ABetter Day

I had to get out the door for a dentist appointment at 10am.  Craig went to visit his mission president Reed Benson.  He is on hospice care and is not going to live much longer.  He was really glad he took the time to go visit him.  After my dentist appointment we meet Gary Mcdougal to see what lots he had open in Eagle Mountain.  Not real impressed with the two homes he showed us but found a house across the street from another builder that Shannon and I really liked.  I called the builder when I got home to see what their list price was.  It is on a 1/2 acre which Shannon  really likes.  She is my little farm girl and would love to have a big garden with some animals.  The home is in the price range they are looking at.  We are going to meet with the builder next week.   I had to hurry home to get ready for our temple night.   It was a very busy night!!  I think the most busy night I have ever seen since working there on a week night.  I was so tired when I got home,  I had to go straight to bed.  My heart was aching and racing.  I just did not feel well.! I have got to get into a cardiac doctor.  I feel I had a heart attack in June and I have not felt good since.  The stress of all this family stuff has taken a toll on my health.  My heart is just hurting with sorrow too!! I have dragged all day and have no energy.  Craig let me rest for the day and finally we are about an hour from the lake.  It was nice to just lay low and try to refresh myself in order to spend time with the family! Trisha & Buck said they would be staying until Saturday so we will get to spend some time with them and hopefully Tasha is still there so I can see the baby!  Trying to balance the family time with our children is really hard right now.  Everyone is avoiding one another or spending time with the Chaudhry family?  This family blow-up after Christmas this year has been an emotionally roller coaster for us.  Trying to balance things at the cabin this year has been really hard for us.  Mostly because getting our family all together is not going to happen.  We feel hurt that the Burbidge family and Thomas family planned the time at the cabin without telling us or asking us if they could go up early.  We feel it is obvious they are avoiding spending time there if the Chaudhry's are going to be there?  It is the unsaid actions that really hurt us as parents.  This has been such a shock to us and is so hurtful.  How to balance the cabin family time this year is a very delicate!!

24th of July holiday Today

We are heading up to the lake again today.  We got home late Sunday night from our Spinks family reunion I was beat.  Micheal slept over so he could mow the lawn in the morning.  I took Craig to tracks early so he could ride it into town to pick up Stacy's old car that we were having fixed.  Chaudhry's are buying it from us.  They really needed another car.   Having only one working car has been really hard for Shannon.  We drove it out to them later that afternoon.  I took Michael school shopping.  He wanted to get some new clothes at Ross before everything was picked over.  We got him all set for the new school year.  He will be in the 10th grade this year. He had earned the money for new clothes mowing our lawn. After we dropped Michael off late afternoon I had to come home and rest,  I was beat from hosting our family gathering at the lake.  Trisha and Buck left Monday evening to head up to the lake for the week.  I had talked to her that day to find out they were coming home on Thursday the day we planned to come up,  so disappointed they would be leaving when we would arrive.  We then find out later that night that Trisha had invited Tasha to come up for the week too with out saying anything to us. This was very upsetting to both Craig and I.  It is our cabin and they are planning a family gathering without us. I was so up set I had to just go to bed.  I didn't even want to get out of bed on Tuesday.  I was emotionally spent and in a dark depression over all this family stuff.  I don't know how it is going to heal or even bring any family unity back to our family again.  I don't know how to navigate our family outings any more?  It is every one seems to be avoiding us if by chance the Chaudhry family is going to be with us, they are not coming.  We did take Michael with us  last weekend and to our surprise the Noriega family did come.  So that was a huge switch to what they were saying a few months ago.  Any Chaudhry they would leave and I have not been happy with that.  It is just going to take baby steps and our girls wanting to build some unity in the family.  This is all so emotional for me to deal with, my heart has just been breaking in half,  I have tried so hard to build a close family and to see it shredded before my very eyes is more than I can handle.   We felt Trisha & Buck are taking advantage of us.  Planning and inviting Tasha with out even asking us.  Tuesday was a Dark day for me.  I manage to get myself dressed and late afternoon I went and got a pedicure to try to pull myself out of my dark hole of despair. I've got to chipper up!!  It is 24th of July Holiday and hard to believe the month of July is going by so fast.  We stayed home most of the day and heading up to the lake late.  I needed to rest from my very busy temple night and catch up on a few things around the house.  All this family stuff has taken the wind out of my sail, so to speak.

Our Symes Family Reunion

We hosted a Family reunion at the cabin this past weekend July 17- 20th.  The Spink's family all came up from St. George with grandmother Lavon 17 of them. Shar & Dave came up Thursday night from our family and stayed until Friday night.  Micheal came with us.  Tried to get Shannon and her family to come, but no luck.  Stacy was out of town in California, Tasha just had her baby and Trisha & her family had plans to go camping so they did not make it.  I missed having our family there but we had a cabin full.  The Spink's family all had a great time.  Shelly , Dennis, Garrett & Katie with their new baby boy a month old, Jen & Jared with their three kids all arrived Saturday, we had a really fun day!  Played volleyball and had a fun family dinner with everyone.  There was lots of boating and fun for everyone.  All the 2nd cousins had a fun day and played really well together.  Sunday everyone cleared out by noon.  Craig and I were beat!! It took us the afternoon to clean up.  It was a great success for a family gathering.  We had some sleep at Scott's place. They had Tracy and her boyfriend Jason, Kelly, Kim &  her two kids, and Troy.  So we had 45 attending our family reunion this year.  Everyone had a great time and want to do it again next year!! 

Fun family tradition!  I was so busy cooking & cleaning and keeping up with everyone I didn't take any pictures, I will have to get copies from those that took pictures. Having the family reunion this year helped to fill the void and challenges we are dealing with in our own family this summer.  Craig and I have felt very lonely with them not coming this summer.  Why did we built this big cabin?  Sharing it with the extended family was lots of fun and has helped with the void and sorrow we feel at this time in our lives.  Just pray in time things will heal somehow!!

The Day Did Not End Well

Baby sitting the two Thomas boys, they have been a hand full for me. They were in mischief all morning long, making one mess after another.  Winston flooded the kitchen from the kitchen facet when I was putting some clothes in the dryer, while cleaning that up he dumped over Craig's ice bucket and flooded my bathroom sink while I was putting my clothes on for the day.  I locked all the doors up stairs.  While playing in the playroom Winston scribbled all over in the playroom with a marker, I don't know where he found it, but he did !!  I cleaned up one mess after another.  I had to take a shower and clean up for the day, got them cleaned up and while I got my self ready they had to stay right with me the entire time.  Lincoln tied some scrap fabric from baby sisters guilt I made for her on my bed head board and around his waist and jumped off my bed hanging and screaming.  So grateful he did not tie around his neck.  It gave us both a good scare.  By 2pm I was frazzled and we needed to eat lunch.  We went to Mcdonald's.  I had to drive out to get my credit card I had left at Little Ceaser's Pizza on Monday, I was worried about leaving it there for three days.  We drove out to eagle mountain to pick it up and the boys watched a movie in the car. Winston took his nap in the car. Craig told me to pick up what boys were going to the cabin with us for the family reunion leaving in the morning. It was so hot outside I thought it would be fun for the boys to play in the baby pool for a bit and give us something to do!  I was frazzled and had to get out of the house.  Shannon suggest we go at the water park by their home and let them play there.  They had a great time.  Lincoln was missing his mommy and wanted to see his baby sister.  I called Tasha to see how she was doing and if I could bring the boys home for bedtime.  I got the boys cleaned up and in their pj's and was heading to my house to pick up their things.  Bridger called and said he would pick up the boys at my house.   I got home just in time to gather their things when Bridger arrived.  He was really upset that I had taken the boys to play with Landon at the park.  I could see our conversation was going nowhere.  I was holding back the tears!!  Craig arrived just in time from working at the temple.  I had gotten a sub so I could stay home with the boys.  I told Bridger I couldn't talk any more and just went to my room and cried the rest of the night.  They do not want any contact with Landon.  It is so hurtful!!  I just feel things have been so blown up!  It has been 7 months now and every family outing has been a huge upset for me, just trying to balance it with everyone is so hard!  We had a great afternoon and the boys were not out of our sight.  Craig spent a while talking to Bridger last night.  I had a sleepless night and exhausted from caring for the boys the past two days.  I felt the wind taken out of my sail again and a huge cloud of dark despair hovering over me.

They Named Her!!

They named her Aniston Faye.  I brought the boy to our home yesterday they are a handful.  Tasha came home late last night from the hospital.  She is going to have her hands full with three little ones.  Lincoln is missing his mommy!  He wants to go home!!  I have had my hands full taking care of Winston & Lincoln!!  Today is going to be a challenging day for me caring for these two.

Natasha at the hosptial with their new baby sister, Lincoln & Winston

Baby Sitting Lincoln & Winston

I'm baby sitting the Thomas brothers today.  Natasha will be coming home from the hospital tomorrow morning Baby Farrah is so darling!!  We have called her baby Farrah the entire time Natasha has been pregnant.  Now they are thinking of another name?  She is so precious.  Our newborn baby girl only an hour old.

Tasha Delivered A Baby Girl Today

Proud Grandparents holding our 16th grandchild

Natasha & Bridger with their newborn baby girl

Natasha delivered her baby girl today at 1:17 pm today.  She weighed 6lbs 5oz & 19 inches long. She is so precious!!

Our beauty queen who just delivered her third child

Baby Girl Thomas

False Alarm!!

Wednesday morning after the shower, Tahsa call at 5am!! She said her water had broken!!  I hurried out the door to watch the boys.  Baby Thomas is on her way!!  They sent her home a few hours later.  Her water had not broken.  While I was out at her home she was able to color my hair.  The doctor said if she has not had the baby this week he would start her this coming Monday morning!!  Baby Thomas will arrive soon.

I was really tired from all my hard work getting ready for the baby shower.   I was able to get home in time to serve at the Draper temple for the evening shift.  Thursday morning I was feeling really tired from the busy week.  Not much time to rest, I had to packed up again to head back to the lake for Craig's association meeting we were out the door by by 1pm never a slow moment in the summer!!

Draper Rodeo

Tasha & Bridger took Lincoln and Winston to the rodeo and horseback riding.  They had a great time.  These pictures are priceless !!

Lincoln & Winston

Our Young Handsome Lincoln Thomas

Tasha's Baby Shower

Natasha with her big sister Sharlena ready to pop!

Tasha with Lauren and Whitney

Natasha & her sister Shannon

Natasha with all her girlfriends at the baby shower

Last Tuesday evening I hosted a baby shower for our Natasha.  We got home late Monday night from our 4th of July weekend.  We stayed an extra day.  Micheal, Alec and Landon stayed with us.  Micheal had a great day on the wake board,  he was able to land his flip 5 times in a row.  He is getting really good!

I had to work fast and hard on Tuesday to get ready for the baby shower.  It was a race against the clock to get everything done and ready in time.  We had a great turn out.  I was so excited to give Tasha the baby quilt I finished for the baby last week.  I had started the quilt 7 years ago and have been waiting for a baby granddaughter to come to our family.  The last granddaughter has been since Karlee Burbidge was born 9 years ago.  The quilt turned out really nice.

Natasha with her sister Trisha and nice's Saydee & Karlee

We Had A Nice 4th Of July Weekend

             Playing with the Duck!!

The weekend has gone by fast.  Don & Jean Asay stopped by to visit us and see our new cabin.  Brother Asay was our bishop when we were first married.  We love them so much.  I admire sister Asay so very much. She was a great comfort to me in a difficult time in our marriage in the mid 80's.  It was so fun to see them today.  I enjoyed going to church today.   In attendance today at sacrament meeting were over 1000 saints.  It felt good to renew my covenants and strive to do better this week in the areas I fall short.  I enjoyed spending time with the Chaudhry family and the Towner family.  Shan brought their pet duck Shadow.  It was fun to put him in the lake with us and let him swim.  The duck is so fun to watch!!

Jude holding the pet duck Shadow at Bear Lake July 2014 3yrs old

The 4th Of July

Our little Yael Towner

Michael Chaudhry 15 yrs old- our oldest grandson

Our Stacy Lee & Yael

Jude enjoying the fireworks!!

Papa Symes & Jude Towner

Chaudhry Family, Shannon, Ryan & Landon

Today is the big 4th of July!!  It has been a beautiful day.  We have spent the day doing a few chores.  Michael & Craig mowed the grass on the lake side, it will help to keep the deer flys down and make it easier to get out to the Lake.  The Chaudhry boys have had a fun day.  Shan & Ryan should be arriving soon for our 4th of July dinner.  It has been a quite day for us.  Miss having our family all here.  Stacy & Chad   are arriving sometime tonight.  Chad called Ryan yesterday and talked about things and then last night Shannon talked to Chad for over an hour.  I guess things went ok.  It is just going to take time for the unity to come back in our family.  It is going to be a quite summer for us as grandparents.  I really don't mind less work for us.  I know the cousins do miss getting together.  Wish the Burbidge family would have come.

We had a nice dinner when Shan & Ryan and Stacy & Chad arrived.  We had a few fire works and sparklers for the kids and a camp fire with roasted marshmallows.

Chad with Yael

Heading To The Lake

It's July 4th weekend!! We are just heading up .  Just stopped at Costco to get groceries, it was a mad house shopping, you couldn't even move the shopping cart.  It is a very hot day!! I will be nice to get out of town.  We are picking up Flints boat at his dad's home and then we will be able to get out of town.  Craig picked up the Chaudhry boys to ride up with us.  Shan & Ryan are suppose to be coming up tomorrow. Just got a call from Shan, Chad called Ryan today and it did not go that well. So now don't know if they are coming up.  Ryan was offended by the things Chad said to him.  I'm just ready to throw my hands up in the air!!   I quit all this family stuff is a pain in the behind!!  It is very heart aching to me!!  I just don't know what to do anymore!!  We are still heading up to the lake!

The Drama With The Family

Each holiday has been very up setting for us this year since the family blow up in December.  I knew the holidays this summer was going to be a challenge for us in getting the family together.   Talking to Shannon yesterday it looks like they were not coming to the cabin if the Thomas and Towner family were coming due to all the unspoken feelings going around.  Chad really caught us off guard over memorial weekend.  Here we thought he was in our court and that has been a huge flip.  Shannon and I both cried and cried and were so upset!!  Chad has been out of town working so there has been no time to talk about things with him. Chad got into town Sunday night late.  Stacy said they would be coming up to the cabin for the 4th.  Which  Sunday Tasha texted me to see what we were doing and told her we were going to the cabin, which is what we do every year.  They have not been to the cabin for the 4th of July only once in 5 years,  they have been out of town working.  The same with Stacy and Chad it has been 7 years that they have been gone during the summer months.  Chad just happens to fly in this month, they are leaving on Sunday to go to California and Stacy is going with him this time for several weeks.  So I thought for sure they would be coming up yet questioning if that was really going to happen?  Shar and Dave planned a trip to Moab camping this year. Buck was just called to serve in the Bishopric in their ward so that limits their time at the cabin now.  I talked to Tasha yesterday to tell her the Chaudhry's were going, was Bridger ok with that?  She said not really, but she really wanted to come.  So things are all left up in the air on who is coming?  Tasha texted us tonight saying they are not coming if the Chaudhry's are coming.  Dad talked to Stacy and she hinted around to the same thing.  We knew from the conversation that Bridger and Chad had been talking.  I told Craig to just call Shannon and tell them they are not coming and for them to plan on coming,  I know the boys really want to come with us.  Ryan has three days off and they really should come too.  This is all so upsetting  to Craig and I, here we have this lovely cabin we built for family gatherings and now we are having to deal with all this!!  I can't let myself start crying again!!  I know Craig was really mad when we went to bed tonight and I can't sleep over it all either!! I just don't know what to do anymore!  Just going to have to let them work it out on their own time schedule.  Our son-in-laws are making this really challenging!  It's the shits!! Is all I can say right now!

Working On My Baby Quilt

I have got to get this baby quilt done!! I got a late start on it today.  I had to take Micheal home from his sleepover.  We had lunch and I took him home.  Shannon wanted to visited about what to do for the 4th  July Holiday.  Things are still so tense in the family and it is not going to happen in getting them together at the cabin.  Shannon,  her and Ryan feel very uncomfortable to be around The Thomas and Towner family.  which I totally understand. If they come to the cabin they are not coming!!  I know the Chaudhry boys are really wanting to go to the cabin for the 4th of July.   We went to Ridleys to buy a swimming pool for their duck to swim in.  Shadow has gotten soo big.  We filled up the pool and he had a great time swimming in the new pool.  Landon had fun playing in the pool with his duck.  I had to get home and start working on my baby quilt!!  I finally got back home after 4pm and finally got working on this quilt that was my project for the rest of the day.  I started this quilt 7 years ago, thinking with all the grand babies coming we would have a baby girl in the bunch,  well nine years later we are finally getting another little granddaughter

I needed to finish binding and tie the quilt.  I spent the night tying it.  It.  My made my self stick to my project. Wednesday I got up early and stated binding the quilt.  I had to hand sew all the way around the edges.  I worked on it until I had to get ready for the temple.  I finally finished it and it has turned out so darling, really pleased with the out come. It is pretty and pink!!  I backed it with a really soft minkie fabric on the backing that has a rose flower pattern.  So excited for a new baby girl in the family,  Tasha is due this month, July 21st.

These Darn Invitations

I have had the worse time getting these baby shower invitations done and in the mail.  I worked them up on the computer last Tuesday, they were ready for pick up on Wednesday.  Excited to pick them up, in review I had forgot to change the day. We were talking about Thursday which is July 10th ,  Natasha's ward was having her shower on that night so we changed to July 8th a Tuesday night which gave me only a week to get ready.  Well in printing I forgot to change the day back to Tuesday.  So I reorder new invitations, they would be really for pick up on Thursday.  I had a busy week and was not able to pick them up until Saturday.  The new ones were not there for pick up. So they reprinted for me and they came up with the old information and incorrect.  I came home to find the new card I corrected was still in my shopping cart and  I did not send in for printing.  Some how I goofed again!!  I reordered and they would not be ready until Monday. Monday this week!  I picked them up and finally got the correct printing. Now I was out of ink and picked up more so I could get my labels printed up.  When opening a new ink cartridge it leaked out all over covering my hands in ink.  Thank goodness I had tried opening it over the garbage can, it leaked all over inside the garbage can, it would have been disastrous if it had been scattered all over my carpet. Now I had a mess to clean up with leaking ink in my garbage can.  I had to clean all the ink off my hands.  I finally got a new ink cartridge in the printer.  As I was writing out some of the invitations I had my ink pen leak out purple ink all over my hands.  I have had one mess after another, the worse luck!  This baby shower invitation has been one big mess for me!!  I'm so glad to finally get them done and in the mail!!  I got them mailed later than I would have liked but they will have about a 6 days notice.  My next project is to finish up the baby quilt I'm making in time for the shower.

Got My Blood Work Done Today

I fasted so I could go this morning for my blood work.  A week later I finally made it down to the lab.  Just a routine blood lab test.  I'm concern with the symptom I have been having this past week.  I really need to get into a good cardiac doctor to check my heat out.  My mother had a heart attack at my age and my grandmother Dicky died in her lates 40s from heart problems, so I really should not ignore the warning signs.  I meet. Shelly Symes after my blood work to pick up her pictures for the Symes history I'm working on.  It is turning out good so far, but this is a huge project and is going to take longer than I thought.  There is no way I'm going to get it done in time for the Symes family reunion.  I'm just going to have to save it for a future Christmas present for another family reunion.  At least I've got started on it and will keep working on it as time allows.  Monday flew by for me I had to pick up my baby shower invitations for Natasha's baby shower in a week.  I need to get them in the mail.  I hurried home just in time to meet with my dear visiting teacher Li.  I had not had time to clean up from our pillow fight with the grand kids last night so there were pillows everywhere.  She laughed and said it was nice to see my house a little messy.  It is always so clean when she comes to visit.  We had a very nice visit.  Craig picked up Micheal to come mow our lawn it had been almost two weeks and it needed a good mow.  Micheal slept over for the night.  I worked on the Symes history for awhile, fun to see the pictures that I picked up from Shelly today.  For family night we took Micheal to get ice cream at the new Leatherby's in town.  Craig and I have been wanting to go for over  a month now.  We finally made it. It is very good.  Our new favorite place to have ice cream.  Craig and I shared a banana split and Micheal got a large sundae.  I came home to work on my  baby shower invitations.

Ward Conference

It felt good to be in our Ward today.  We had not been to our ward for over two months.  Been going to Bear lake ward and missed several Sundays when I was sick with the stomach bug earlier in the month.  It was our Ward conference today and I so enjoyed our meetings.  Home sweet home to rest from our busy week and work around the house yesterday.  Stacy and the boys came by tonight for several hours.  Stacy was picking up Chad at the airport at 11pm so she hung out here until it was time to leave.  We had fun playing with the boys. We had a pillow fight with all my pillows from the couch.  Remind me of the days we had pillow fights with our girls when they were little.  Stacy got a fat lip from one of those fights.  We were ready for bed when Stacy and the boys left !!

We Stayed Home For The Weekend

June has gone by quickly for us.  After taking the grandkids to Lagoon, Craig & I were beat, we could feel it the next day, sore and aching from riding the rides.  We are not spring chickens any more!!  We have been up to the lake for the past 4 weekends and it felt good to stay home this weekend.  Craig and I spent the day working.  I did all our laundry and tidy up in the house.  I had a busy week and had not picked up, and it showed by the end of the week we had things all over the house.  I worked till noon inside and then went outside to help Craig.  We enjoyed working beside one another.  We cleaned all three of the garages.  It felt good to get things back in some order.  We were beat by 6pm and had to quit for the day.  I'm still not feeling the best, my right arm has been aching all day long which is sign for heart problems.  Last week was a good scare with the chest pain attack that came on suddenly and then I have noticed that my heart rate has been high.  My chest area has been really sore to even touch,  I notice when I took a bath and washed with soap it was so tender to the touch.  I have just not felt well the entire past week. By Saturday night I almost felt Craig should take me to the hospital, yet I hate sitting in the emergency room especially on a Saturday night.   I just held off!!  I'm still alive and kicking!!