Craig has been working hard the past few weeks. He tore down the last small A-frame down by him self and cut up all the wood for fire wood. Last week he had the lake bed grated with the water going down. He spent a day with a tractor scraping up the mud and putting it in a dump trailer and hauled it off, it has helped to get rid in the deep mud so we can walk out to the lake. It was ally of work for him. We have have been spending ally of time out side. I have enjoyed. The fresh air and working along side with my hubby. We have needed the time together. This week our project had been digging a 18 inch trench along the drive way and filling it with gravel to help the water drainage that collect. Hope it works. it has been a lot of work for him. I’m beat after helping and doing what I can do. We are slowing getting some of the thingswe have wanted to get done. I’m clearing out the the upper part of our property from all the weeds and hoping to make some kind of a flower bed. I’m wanted to get our yard lilokking more landscaped on the highway side. It will be nice to get our steps in and the driveway pored. It will help to keep the dirt out. Don’t know if we are going to get it down this year the weather is changing fast. We had a fun ride in the rhino yesterday with the Brower’s. they wanted to do us their property they have 69 acres up I. The Mountain. It was a fun drive. The Autumn leaves are changing colors early this year. We have had the temperature drop this week a lot in the low 60’s for a few day and in the 30’s in the wee morning hours. That makes the leaves change fast either the colder nights. Craig Inhave enjoyed sitting by a camp fire at night burning our A-frame wood. We had a fun playing pickleball the last two weeks on Wednesday mornings. I’m starting to get better. Fun game Craig & I can play torgether. I didn’t play all summer becoause my foot is hurting, it hurts not doing anything so might as well play again. I have missed playing. We played once a week all winter up to May. We had a crazy busy summer with all our family. Nice to have things slow done. The grand kids are all back in school. Craig says he needs to take a break from his work projects. His shoulder is really hurting him. He had been working hard. He doesn’t slow down for long!!
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Natalie Coombs Weddding Reception
We are heading to Salt lake this afternoon for Natalie Coombs wedding reception. Craig was the Coombs home teacher for many years while we lived in Draper. Natalie loved Craig and wanted him to attend her special wedding reception. They are hosting a dinner and dances at Log Haven in Millcreek canyon. They are having a smaller reception and invited us to attend the dinner. We are blessed to have known the Coombs family. To my surprise this Natalie’s wedding ceremony. They did. It get married in the temple which was a surprise. She dated this young man for five years. He is a return missionary. The wedding was lovely nestled in the canyon. Log Haven is beautiful. I don’t think I have ever been there. It is a canyon just above where Craig was raised. It was fun to see old friends from the ward. President Bryant Henry our stake president married them. She had invited 8 couples from our ward with it being a small reception. We we one of the lucky ones. We had a lovely dinner, We were seated by the Spanglers, Steve & Sonia Nelson, and the Swarts. It was fun to get re acquainted and talk about our kids and what they are all doing. The other table next us was the Henrie’s, sister Gilmore, her husband just called as the new Bishop of the ward, brother and sister, Summer’s the Temple president at the Draper temple & Todd and Emily Handley. We miss seeing everyone so it was fun to catch up. Brother Henry is always so ice and kind, gives me a hug hug and tells me l’m looling really hot, a very nice compliment for me with us all getting older. We are both the same age which I laughed hearing it from him. Lana his wife is not so friendly. She is just so cold, never could get her to warm up to me the 12 years we lived there, I was her visiting teacher for several years. She was very nice but. not very warm and fuzzy to me always distant. We did have a lovely time!!! We drive the corvette, it was fun to pull up in our car and have Valet service, treated like special guest for the night.
Monday, August 27, 2018
Virtue value experience #1
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10).
I will prepare to enter the temple and remain pure and worthy. My thoughts and actions will be based on high moral standards.
What is Virtue? Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It includes chastity and purity. The power to create mortal life is an exalted power God has given His children. He has commanded that this power be used only between a man and a woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. Study the meaning and importance of chastity and virtue by reading Jacob 2:28; “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (see page 101); and the section on sexual purity in For the Strength of Youth. Also read Article of Faith number thirteen and Proverbs 31:10–31. In your journal write the promised blessings of being sexually clean and pure and your commitment to be chaste. Reading Jacob 2:28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.... what does the word whoredoms mean?
Definition of whoredom. 1 : the practice of whoring : prostitution. 2 : faithless, unworthy, or idolatrous practices or pursuits....sexually unpure...not in the bounds of the lord, is no sexual relations of any kind, only to whom you are lawfully wedded. The strict pattern of marriage of the Lord is monogamy, the only exception unless the Lord has commanded to raise up seed. Needs to be between and man and women only. We are living in a time when Society has legalized same sex marriage in many states now, even Utah has ruled to honor same sex marriage. This is not gods law!! Same sex marriage is a form of whoredoms.. strength for the youth message-Sexual Purity The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. ( The world now says other wise, it is legal to marry someone of the same sex.)
Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage....
When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family. You protect yourself from the spiritual and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage. You also protect yourself from harmful diseases. Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the future...( it is so important to be sexually pure before marriage.. ( I know that I was tempted when engaged to my dear husband yet I kept the Temple in my mind. I have made a goal to be married in the temple no matter what!! I had to remind myself of this goal when I was tempted to sin.. I want to be married in the temple more than anything!!! I had to put myself in situations for protection against this great sin and know when the time is right I can share sexually with my wedded husband. .. (Today so many youth are not getting married and co- living together before marriage, which goes against Gods law of sexual purity. The world around us says it is ok to live with someone and be sexually active before marriage. We see it all the TV shows and movies. It is really hard to not let this desensitize us toward what is really important and start thinking it is ok by the standards of the World)...
The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Do not allow the media, your peers, or others to persuade you that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable. It is not. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious. They defile the sacred power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5).5 Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost? ( our world influences put no value in the importance of sexual purity before marriage and after marriage anything goes!! ). The lord’s counsel and our church leaders is - Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. Pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit so that you can be clean and virtuous. The Spirit of the Lord will withdraw from one who is in sexual transgression...( this is great guidance in learning how to be sexually clean before marriage and safe guards to protect our viture.)
Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home or activities where there is a lack of adult supervision. Do not participate in discussions or any media that arouse sexual feelings. Do not participate in any type of pornography. The Spirit can help you know when you are at risk and give you the strength to remove yourself from the situation. Have faith in and be obedient to the righteous counsel of your parents and leaders...
Homosexual and lesbian behavior is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction or you are being persuaded to participate in inappropriate behavior, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you... this is not not what the world tells us, it is ok to have a sexual relationship with the same sex!! It is becoming more and more common place in all our lives, each family unit is seeing someone their family that is adopting this standard and are involved in a same sex relationship. The evil is growing more and more even in LDS families...
Victims of sexual abuse are not guilty of sin and do not need to repent. If you have been a victim of abuse, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Talk to your parents or another trusted adult, and seek your bishop’s counsel immediately. They can support you spiritually and assist you in getting the protection and help you need. The process of healing may take time. Trust in the Savior. He will heal you and give you peace. ( So thankful for my Heavenly Fathers love and guidance to give me the courage to speak up when my step-Father was sexually abusing me as young teen. ( The lord has healed me, it has taken many years to heal and still in my 60’s can feel the scars from the impact in my life. I have to pray for peace!! I know that Lord loves me and is there for me in my trials.)
Make a personal commitment to be sexually pure. By your words and actions, encourage others to do the same. ( the challenge I have had it watching things on TV that are not the most appropriate. I can see how my standards as an adult over the years have lowered I have been desensitized by the worlds standards. I have a desire to be more Strict it what I preview. It is really hard to find the balance. When the natural man desires to watch the movies and shows that appeal to the weakness of the flesh.
Monday Morning
It has been raining the weather has cooled off in the low 60’s Fall in in the air. Working on my personal progress and striving to be an example to rhe young women in the Ward. Goal this week is to continue reading in the Book of Mormon. Requirement to read the entire book this year. I have been slowly studying several chapters lately in much more detail but I need to pick up the pace and continue my reading in the book of Alma, for my Viture project in reading the Book of Mormon liken the scriptures to my life and note the examples of the Savior in my reading. What did he do and what did those who followed him do to live a virtuous life. I will strive to think more in this direction as I read, study and ponder the messages written...Alma 44: 4 Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith. Vs 5 5 And now, Zerahemnah, I command you, in the name of that all-powerful God, who has strengthened our arms that we have gained power over you, by our faith, by our religion, and by our rites of worship, and by our church, and by the sacred support which we owe to our wives and our children, by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country; yea, and also by the maintenance of the sacred word of God, to which we owe all our happiness; and by all that is most dear unto us.. he is commanded to give up his weapons of war. We need to give up our personal weapons of rebellion against the Lords plan. Or we will not be preserved in this land of liberty. Satan wil gain a stronghold on our hearts and destroy our liberty in this life. Alma 45:16 And he said: Thus saith the Lord God--Cursed shall be the land, yea, this land, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, unto destruction, which do wickedly, when they are fully ripe; and as I have said so shall it be; for this is the cursing and the blessing of God upon the land, for the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance. There is so much wickness in our blessed county that if fear for destrction of the wicked, our only strength is by living righteously , living the commandments of God to have peace in the land today. We live in a very unsettled world of opinions and Satan does have a great hold on many that live around us. I even see it living at our blessed Bear lake. Being faithful in the gospel is a viture of honesty and steadfastness in keeping the faith, when things around me in the world say different. Our appearances, our countenances says if we are a follower of Jesus Christ. Sharlena and I were visiting when they were here last weekend how she feels like she lives in a different world when she sees same sex marriages as acceptable life style and all the people with their tatted bodies. It is a plague for our time. So many youth & adults are tattooing their bodies in extreme fashion, the way they dress and act says so much about being a follower of Jesus Christ. Our world is changing very quickly in the wrong direction. I see It even among so many of the Latter Day Saints as they adopt the ways of the world....
3 Nephi 11:29 For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. I see so much contention in the world , unkindness to one another..
Alma 46: 8 Thus we see how quick the children of men do forget the Lord their God, yea, how quick to do iniquity, and to be led away by the evil one. We are easily led away by the ideas of the world if we are not faithful and strong in the teaching of Jesus Christ.
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Divine Nature experience #3
Make your home life better. For two weeks make a special effort to strengthen your relationship with a family member by showing love through your actions. Refrain from judging, criticizing, or speaking unkindly, and watch for positive qualities in that family member. Write notes of encouragement, pray for this family member, find ways to be helpful, and verbally express your love. Share your experiences and the divine qualities you’ve discovered with that family member or with a parent or leader.
My dear daughter Shannon has been on my mind a lot, what can I do to help her!! I have been praying for her and the insight I need to love her uncontionally. Have Faith it is the Lords timetable to strength her. I do miss living closer to her. What can I do to strengthen her and our relationship with me not so close to her? Praying for her to be uplifted daily to care for herself and her family. Pray she will have the desires to learn more about our gospel plan, why we are here on earth, Pray they will continue the missionary lessons, so Landon can be baptized this year. Pray for Their family to prepare and some day go to the temple and be sealed as eternal family ... I have spent the last two weeks having long conversations with Shannon, encouraging her growth in the gospel and answering questions she has. They have been having the missionary lessons for Landon with Ryan involved. Shannon told me today that Ryan has been taking Landon to church. He is meeting with the Bishop to see what he can do to prepare to Baptize Landon. This is a answered Prayer of my heart for the spiritual growth of their family. Pray they will continue. It is fun to FaceTime and visit with Shannon and baby Ashtyn. She is so adorable. Pray for their family to continue growing closer to the gospel standards. I told Shannon when they are ready I will come help her clean and get ready for the baptism. I can see the Lords hands working in their lives. She told me they were talking about the prelife and how Shannon felt that Ashtyn was meant to come to their family. Two years before she was born Shannon had written in her journal about having a little girl come to their home, she called her by her name Ashtyn and knew that she would have eyes that looked like her father. Ashtyn has been a great blessing for their family. She was indeed a surprise 8 years after the birth of Landon. Shannon felt her dream would. It come true when Landon was born, her health was not good how could she have another baby, surprise she did have a window of better health and she was blessed to become pregnant. I know she has come to their family and is a great blessing. From their conversation Jaxon remember the movie 🎥 that we took the boys to Saturday Warriors, he wanted his mom to watch it. They bought the movie on Amazon and have watched it over and over. I can see how the Lord is perparing their family. So thankful to see his guiding care in their lives. I love them all so very much. They are each children of our Heavenly Father, and part of our eternal family. I will keep encouraging them to learn more about the gospel and work to being sealed in the temple.
Sabbath Day
This has been a blessed sabbath day. Attended all my church meeting and have felt the spirit of peace in my day fellowhiping with the Saints this day. I have worked on my personal progress tonight , learning more about Divine Nature the color of Blue. I have worked in completing experience 1 & 2 working on #3. I have just enjoyed reading conference talk defender of the Family Proclamation by Bonnie Oscarsen Young women general president April conference 2015 such a great talk love it !!
Thursday, August 23, 2018
Thursday
I stayed up late watching movies and resting my foot, I woke up feeling the cool fall air setting in. Thinking can we go home now? I know that is not happening. I’ve got to keep myself distracted and busy so my melancholy feelings don’t set in on me again. I have enjoyed a long conversations on the phone with my daughter Shannon, she is soul searching and trying to figure her life out. We had hoped to have Landon baptized this coming Saturday but that is not going to happen. They are getting closer. I was going to spend the week helping her clean and get ready, but now just staying at the lake. I’m enjoying and studying the 2nd book of Nephi right now and reading a good book Pillar of Fire. Trying to keep my spirits up!! It is a lovely day at the lake !! I really do need to take the time to clean out bedroom and wash some more windows and blinds that I have not gotten done this year. Summer hit and all my cleaning came to an end with all the family here, I was just maintaining no deep cleaning. Maybe today I can tackle a few more things.
Wednesday
Turn and I got up early at 7:30 to go play pickle ball at the KOA. I had a good crowd two teams to play I actually was on a winning team this time Craig and Cindy and Dale and I played each other and I won two games playing with Dale Brower we had a fun time playing pickle ball I can feel the fall chill coming in the air. We could see our canoe flooding out about a mile but we had really dark clouds rolling in a storm came up fast. Craig went down to the marina to see if they would take him out but it started raining and hailing he came home dripping wet. We had to wait for the storm to clear out. We took a nap from our Pickleball we both were tired. We then went up top of Harbour Villiage to try to find the canoe. We couldn’t find it looking with the bonic’s. We were heading down south of the lake to look up high over the lake when driving down Bear lake Blvd clear down by the Water edge development, Craig happen to see yellow floating along the lake. We parked and walked down and sure enough it was out 🛶 canoe. I walked out to about knee deep to retrieve it. That was our adventure for the day. We had a nice lunch at Coty’s and headed back. I have had to rest the rest of the day, my darn foot!! It is hurting really bad. I guess I’m going to have to go to a foot doctor, it has hurt all summer long and is not getting better!! So frustrating I want to be more active and it hurts to walk and stand. The more active the more it hurts!!! Got to figure out how to get it to heal.
The Weather is cooling off
Fall is in the air, The kids a pair and our grandkids all started back to school this week. And the nights are cooling off it’s been cooler in the days this week, it is like clock work as the seasons change on one to the next. We had a big storm roll in last night with rain and hail. I love smelling the Chrisp fresh air and hearing the crows calling. The birds are all chirping away this morning. Tuesday we had a great young men & young women back to school party at our home. We had fun playing volleyball and swimming in the lake. It was a great turn out we had about 30 kids and leaders here. After everyone left about 9:30 pm. They forgot to tie up one of our canoes, I went out in the lake looking for it on the paddle board, I lost my balance and fell in the lake. It was dark and I could not see our Canoe, will have to find it in the morning light. It was fun th be swimming in the lake at night, the water did feel really good. Sad summmernis coming to a close!!
Monday, August 20, 2018
Reflecting
I Just had an experience this weekend to remind me of the tender mercies of my Heavenly and how he has been there for me in my times of greatest sorrow & great trials. Our Young women’s theme this year, “ learn of me, listen to my words, walk in the meekness of my spirit and you shall have peace in me.” D&C 19:23 - we have strived to teach the young women to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit in their lives and as we learn of our Savior we will have peace and happiness in our lives despite the challenges.... Craig my dear husband got a call Saturday morning for us to come play pickle ball with another couple in town for the weekend, they were staying at Worldmart by Habour Villiage and had found a website of those interested in playing pickle ball with Dale Brower’s name listed and his phone number. They contacted Dale and schedule the time to play, Dale needed a partner and called us. I told Craig I had to much to do to play so he went without me. Later that day he told me the couple he played with was from Liberty, Utah and have recently bought the home of Dan Rhodes. Craig told them , my wife use to live in that home as a teenager. I was so surprised when Craig told me about their conversation and so sad I had not met them. I was preparing my talk for sacrament Sunday morning and in my talk I was reading a quote from Elder Rasband talk in the October conference 2017 called “Divne Design,” What a coincidence I thought at first! As I thought about it, there was a purpose for them coming into my life at this very moment in time. It opened the pages of my life history that I have not thought much about in a very long time. It was a very painful time that I have tried to block out. I was 17 years old. My family fell apart before by very eyes. My step-Father the only father I knew was arrested and serving time in jail. I really didnt know why. My mother was left alone with four children and no job to financially take care of. We had recently moved back to our home town of Denton, Texas where my family was the most happy when we were baptized as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was 11 years old at the time. I have such fond memories in my heart of this exciting time in my families life accepting our new faith and attending our new church. We were all so happy!! Life does have it challenges especally when we committ sin and are paying the consequences of those sins. Our entire family deeply effective by the wrong doing of my father. We had lived in Utah for 2 years previously. I was attending my sophomore and junior year at Weber high school in Ogden Utah. As a newly convert I was loving my experience in Utah and attending school there I had created many wonderful friends, I loved attending seminary and my membership in the church. Things were not good in my family my Junior year. I knew my mother was barely hanging on emotionally. The next thing I know we are moving back to Denton, Texas. I was very sad to be leaving my friends and life we had created living in Utah. But thought going back to the place my family was convert to the church would be ok. I started school there my senior year. We had left Denton when I finished my 8 grade yr. we lived one year in Florida my 9th grade yr and then Utah the 2 yrs. The friends I knew in 8th grade had all greatly changed in three years. I found myself alone with very few friends. There were very few Latter Day Saints in the coummintiy. Only about 5 of us in the entire high school. I missed my friends in Utah and the school I had grown to love. I cried lots of tears. Living in an LDS coummunity does make a huge difference in the quality of my life. I felt like I had been thrown in the lion dens of evil. The drugs were bad with most of the kids They were not living the standards I wanted to live. One day I had a terrible fight with my mother,. I’m sure it was because I was so unhappy and afraid. She had her challenges to caring for us kid with Charles my step father recently arrested. Our family was falling apart and I couldn’t emotionally deal with all the problems. I Remember walking several miles to my Past Bishop’s home, whom I loved very much the Ragsdale’s. I was embarrassed showing up at their home crying so I hide in one of their cars in the garage. They found me and brought me in the house. I was just so distraught from all the chances in our lives and didn’t know what to do. I felt their love and concern for me and a peace came over me that things are going to be ok. They called my Bishop in Utah Dan Rhodes to see what they could do to get me back Utah to finish my senior year. The Rhodes family took me in. Flew back to Utah in October, my First time to fly on an airplane in 1974. It was a thrilling experience and exciting to be back in Zion for me. The Rhodes family so lovingly welcome me back and treated me as one of their own kids. I loved sister Rhodes with all my heart. She would play the piano for me and teach me beautiful songs to sing. Singing was a great comfort to me.... right after sacrament today I meet Corena & Brett Hansen that Craig had played in pickle ball. They wanted to meet me after hearing a brief history of me living in the Rhodes Home and now they are the new owners. I was so thankful they took the time to say hello, we took a picture of us together so they could show to Brothet Rhodes. He is now 88 years old and theyvhave added an addition to the family home for him to stay in until he passes away. He has lived in that home for over 60 years. I told the couple I had not been back for many many years. I loved the Rhodes family so much they were with me when I got married and in all my wedding pictures at the Salt Lake temple, they helped me with college money my first semester at BYU. We even went to their home about 1981 to dig up Mountain Ash trees from their yard to plant in our newly landscape yard, living in Sandy Utah as newlyweds with two small children. I don’t think I’ve been back since. I have such found memories in my heart for this family they were a comfort to me in the mist of the storms of my life. I told them I needed to come Thank brother Rhodes for his love and kindness given to me when it was so needed. I promised to come for a visit very soon... in Sunday school another tender mercy , we were studying the Book of Pslams when this scripture was read: Pslams 24: 3 Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? Vs 4 -He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.... Lo and behold these are words from a song that Sister Rhodes taught me to sing, I sang serveral times as a solo in several sacramnents meetings over the years. Another reminder of the blessing they were to me in my youth. Today I text Corena thanking her for reaching out to me. She sent me this sweet note note: It’s so beautiful the way the Lord micromanages the details of our lives. We enjoyed meeting you and are so excited to share this news with Dan! Please do come visit...any time! We’re updating and remodeling the home, you may not recognize it 😊 attached pictures of the home that have flooded my memory with the many blessing afforded me in a season in my life that was Critical in the growth and well being of my progression as a young teen. Truely a reminder of my Heavenly Fathers watchful care and love for me in my mortal life.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Austin Birthday
Fun pictures !! Thank for a nice dinner and fun to visit we are so very proud of our Austin, he is a very special young man !! ...SHARLENA responded : Thank you so much for making the trip down. It meant a lot to Austin to have you come. Love you guys! We’ll see you soon.
Speaking in Sacrament
The young women presidency spoke in sacrament today and the young women all sang “Peace in Christ “. It was a very good meeting. I was so touched by the spirit and I know everyone in the audience was touched too. It was a full house. We had visitors clear back to the stage. Darlene our youth speaker spoke a great talk. Love her sweet spirit. Our theme Following the Prophet. I was amazed how we each had the same topic yet spoke about different thoughts words of the prophet that complimented one another. Elise is my secretary and she does such a great job in expressing herself, she is 28 years old and very mature in her thinking and the way she shares her thoughts. She has great wisdom for a young women. Brittany spoke starting out for us all to imagine. We are each like a snow globe with all its glitter and sparkle going all directions, our lives can be like the snow globe, yet when we feel the spirit of the Lord we can feel peace and calmness in our lives when we have challenges. She tied her thought in very well to the peace and calmness we feel as we follow the prophets counsel in our own lives. She talked about the Priesthood power and blessing her son Ridge when he had a biking accident and had to be life lighted to Primary Children’s hospital a couple of weeks ago. It was a frightening time for their family. They did feel calmness from the priesthood blessing. Heavenly does hear and answers our prayers. I love how she talked about the peace we feel and highlighted the song the young women sang. It was my turn to speak as the young women’s President and pull everything together from the thought already expressed. I had only about ten minutes left, which I knew would be a challenge for me. There was so much to express. My thoughts and preparation took charge relying on the spirit to direct my words. I had written my entire talk out. I really dislike reading my talk so I did practice with as much time as I had left. I didn’t have my talk memorized yet had much in my head. I know that when I give a talk I look at my notes very little I just start talking and it flows. I ended up speaking a little over time about 16 minutes all together. I felt the Holy Spirit strengthen me and freely let my thoughts and expression flow. We all received many compliments. My dear husband paid me a great tribute. He said it has been the best sacrament in a while. We all did a great job. Brother Monk said the the netting was building with each speaker and that my talk was the highlight of the meeting. Which is a wow compliment. I felt the spirit as I talked and so blessed to have this opportunity with this month being our year anniversary. I needed this time to reflect this past year and realize the blessing and joy this calling has brought in my life despite the many tearing I have cried from the challenges that I had had to deal with. The lords knows. Giving his talk today has been a huge testimony builder for me and given me the courage to continue serving. Just a eeek ago I was consumed with discouragement and wanted to be realeased. I felt like I have been a failure and that I have made mkt difference to the young women in the ward. This has been Satan and his angels working on me by discouragement which did consume me for a short time. I was in the depths of sorrow only a week ago. I had to just check out for a few days. Thank you dear Lord for an up lifting sabbath day. Sister Pope called me tonight and told how touched she was , one of the best sacrament in a while the same thing my dear husband said. Mission accomplished!! Thank you dear Lord!!
Saturday, August 18, 2018
Cole & His Friends
Today is a little cooler day but a nice Saturday, feels good to have a cooler weather. Fall is not fall away. Criag drove to Montpellier this morning to play pickle ball and he said it was 49 degrees. Shar and Dave and some of Cole’s friends are coming up for the afternoon they should be here by about 1 PM. I spelt in till 9am. I didn’t even hear Craig leave early his morning. I have spent three hours cleaning, just in time for them all to arrive. They have had fun playing volleyball, eating lunch and are now heading out to the lake for a few hours. I’m tired from cleaning three hours on my feet and I’m hurting. My left foot has bothered me all summer long. Craig invited me to go play pickle ball at Dale’s this morning when he got back from Montpellier. I told him I just can’t with my foot hurting. Just the standing and cleaning is hard on my right now. I need to go to a foot doctor to see what is really going on and what Inca do to get it to heal. Craig said I look like an old lady limping across the parking lot when we got gas for the boat. I told him I feel like it this darn foot!! So crazy that Cole is a going to be a junior in high school his year. It seem like yesterday when our girls wer this age and now we have grandchildren in high school. Cole is such a great grandson, fun to see him with his friends. I need to take the time to work on my talk while they are out boating. Tomorrow morning is going to come around fast. Trying to use my time wisely. They are all staying until about 9pm tonight. We will have dinner and a fun camp fire, roasting s’mores. It is a quick trip for them all with a two hour drive home. Nice to visit with Sharlena. She says they have a very busy Sunday, Dave is meeting with the stake presidency for a the stake young men presidency making him a counselor instead of the secretary. She needs tonhelpnAustin teach the deacon lesson tomorrow and Aubrey is speaking in sacrament tomorrow. They are having us later in the day at 5:30pm for a birthday dinner for Austin. They dint get home from their ward meetings until 4pm. She is barely going to have time to fix dinner for us all. They will not get home until after midnight tonight from being at the lake for the day. Life is busy for us all!! I’m just glad to have some quite time to work on my talk for tomorrow, I better get to working on it.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Thursday/ Our Shopping Trip
I woke up feeling much much better. Starting to feel renewed just having so quite time has helped a lot, I’m much happier working and lfeeling like I’m accomplishing something. I have to hurry and get dressed I had a visiting teaching appointment at 10:30 AM Tally and I visited my sister hislop for about 45 minutes from there I was craving a Bear Lake raspberry crepe so I stopped and picked one up for Craig and I to share. When I got home Craig wanted to go to Logan to do some shopping and pick up a new battery for the SK boat. We were gone for the afternoon it wears us out driving to Logan & back one hour one way. we went to Sam’s Club, Home Depot, auto zone and TJ Maxx. good to be back home. I’ve got to start working on my talk. I spent the evening reading, copy and pasting thoughts I read in my blog to formulate my talk. I was up till about 1 AM working on it. I feel like I have a good outline for my talk I know it’s going to be way too long I’m going to have to shorten it, praying for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me as to what I should say this Sabbath Sunday.
Wednesday
Craig was on the phone first thing this morning working on a client policy he was in an angry mode trying to get things done, waking up to his mood put me in a bad mood. I needed some space to clear my thoughts. I just started cleaning and tinkering in the house. Craig wanted to go for a bike ride and I was not in the mood. We were invited to play pickle ball and I didn’t want to go because my left foot is still hurting, I’ve walked around all summer limping. It has been so painful. I know I hurt it playing pickle ball in he spring. It had gotten worst over the months. I have just had to let My foot rest as much as I can. It is along healing time. Cleaning and standing is really hard on my foot I have to just sit down and rest often and make sure I have shoes on, can’t go barefooted. No pickle ball for me today. I told Craig to go for his bike ride I need some time to clean. We went to lunch at Zip, we live their chicken strips. The weather is so nice this week. I’m slowly getting things done from our crazy summer, feels good to make some order around me again. I have focus on the basement dusting all the baseboards and dusting the blinds and cleaning the windows. A little bit each day getting things back to the way I like them. I have enjoyed sitting in the swing on the porch and resting, Craig and I have built a camp fire each night with our old wood cabin burning. I love the smell of a camp fire. Last night the mountain across the lake from us are in flames glowing in the night sky. It is a huge fire already burned over 10,000 acres. It was so bright last night it lit up the sky and we could see the flames 🔥.
Tuesday/ Young Women’s
Another day of tinkering in the yard it felt so good to be outside until so good to have things calm down around us Craig and I are really enjoying our time together. I started weeding on the upper side of the driveway wanting to make a flower garden area there for next year and want to get our driveway done soon!! I would like to finish landscaping out by the highway to make things look nicer. We do have several projects that we want to get done around here. I still want to find two kayaks to put out on the front of the lake to make flowerbeds out. Not muck of a young women’s activity this week everyone is very busy. I only have four girls show up we walked over dessert and I had a shake in a little bit to eat fun to visit with them. Abril came I hadn’t seen her for over a month she had gone to spend time with her family in Mexico. After visiting with them I stop by to see Mika and asked her if she would like to have the missionaries questions she said she would like that very much I asked her if she wanted me to speak with her parents and she said yes she would like that. I was able to visit with her mom and dad and asked them to consider Mika having a missionary discussions I invited them to come to our home if they would like. I will follow up with her family in the next few days. Trying to share the light of the gospel with others!!!
Monday
Craig and I woke up early to enjoy the fresh morning air. We started pulling the weeds that have grown around the yard they have grown like three fold in size. I sprayed Roundup around the areas where the weeds grow the most. Good to be working outside rather be outside than inside enjoying the fresh air. It was a very warm day in the high 90s for the weather. Most likely our last 90° weather for the year. Debbie Batt’s and her Husband invited us to go fishing with them tonight. We had a delightful evening on their fishing boat and going out on the lake, the weather did become very windy and we weren’t sure we were able to fish. We waited on the boat and visited in getting to know each other, they moved here a year ago full-time and are the same ages us. Fun to make some new friends. I tried in the spring to get together with them and it just never worked out. Summer hair and we have all been crazy busy entertaining our own families. I really enjoyed our evening didn’t catch any fish but it was fun being out on the lake at sunset!!
Sabbath Day
I had to get up early to shower and wash my hair for ward council at 7:30am this week Craig was up early and out the door by 6:15 for Bishopric council meeting. It felt good to clean up and beautify myself for the Sabbath day, I have missed going to church, we had double sacraments most of the Sunday’s this summer with so many visitors in town, Craig taught the fifth Sunday lesson the end of July a couple weeks ago and he did such an amazing job teaching I was so proud of him we then had raspberry weekend so we only had sacrament no class time. This week was our first lesson to teach in young women’s in over a month I have missed getting together with the girls on Sundays. After our council meeting, I was feeling very anxious and anxiety coming on being around all the people I needed some space I started feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I had to just come home and I missed sacrament meeting at felt good to come back to the cabin and calm my spirits and have some quiet time to myself. I think you’re it outside because the fresh air felt good to me and tidying up the lower patio area. It felt good to tidy things up and just be outside in the fresh air for about an hour. I knew I needed to get myself back to church and attend young women’s. I got there early and noticed in the cultural hall there are several young women waiting for the next meeting I invited them to attend our young women’s and then they could attend Sacrament at 12:30 pm. Kyli Parks my mind made advisor was teaching the lesson today. We had a very large class lots of visitors over 15 girls attended our class today. I only had three local girls there. Kyli did a great job in conducting the lesson we all had a great discussion about the importance of family and marriage and what the girls can do in preparing for these great events in their lives. The visitors added so much to our lesson they all had so many insightful thoughts, they are all so mature for their age I felt and wise in the wisdom and they shared. It was a great discussion I felt very happy with the outcome of how things went my spirit was renewed as I attend young women’s today it felt good to be in church. We had a nice afternoon to relax at home the rest. I’m speaking in church next week and I needed to start preparing my talk so I started reading and contemplating what I could speak on. My theme as following the prophet. I have lots of ideas running around in my head so I will think about it this week.
Saturday
Today has been a better day. I felt like tinkering in the yard and cleaning house a little. With me being gone almost week with girls camp and babysitting in salt lake i could tell things were dirty. I didn’t do much but tried to relax and enjoy our time at the lake. It felt good to have a quite day with just the two of us. We had time to renew our love for one another which had been over a month the longest span our marriage in not making love. We were over due, this help to open up our communication and just enjoy being with on another again. Shelly and Dennis stopped by to give us an early Christmas present and birthday present for Craig, they made us a darling gift from the old wood we had given them from the old cabin, it was three of the old old planks from the cabin floor with a manger seen on it. It is about 4ft tall such a thoughtful gift idea and the fact they made it too. Such a great idea, I told Craig we should make one for each of our kids for Christmas this coming year with the wood we have left. I helped Craig finishing tearing down the old A-frame loft. It was a days job to finish up. We enjoyed a campfire with the old wood we cut up a nice way to end the day. I enjoyed just spending time with my hubby. Quality time I have felt I have not had lately. We have been so busy with all the family this summer, it is a blurr!!! Just wish I could have enjoyed them all more, I just got overwhelmed!! The noise of the family and the highway drives me crazy!! The highway has gotten so busy in the summer a steady stream of cars. I’ve had to go sleeping the lower bedroom and just hide out to get away from the noise. Don’t see it improving the highway is not going anywhere. It is just a very busy road in the summer months. This has been a better day for me !!
My Break Down/ Craig’s 63rd Birthday
Thursday morning when Craig and I got back from Salt lake we were visiting that morning about our retirement investments. Craig invested the money we got on our Draper home in February and it locked up for three years. I told him I didn’t think I could emotionally commits to three more years living at the lake. I’m having a hard time now. He told me we only kept $250.000. Cash from our house money, if we buy anything now we would have to borrow on the Equaline we have on the cabin. I know Craig does not lake paying Interest on any thing. As we were talking I felt myself get light headed and my head started booming. It was like an out of body experience I was having. He told me I was lacring like I was in prison and Intold him it felt like it. I was just being honest with him how I feel. I told him I had to go lay down, I was not feeling well. He got mad again and started slamming things around. Which doesn’t help my emotions. I just had to go to bed. I remember it it was 11:00 am looking at my watch, I laid down to rest and was out. I woke up thinking I had just tested for a bit and it was 4pm. I had slept the afternoon away. Craig bought me a soda to drink I took about two sips and was out again. I just felt this huge dark cloud hanging over me and I just had to sleep. The depression say in over whelming me. I knew Craig was upset and I had nothing to say that would make it better for us. I’m not feeling the same as he is about buying another home. I just don’t know what to do? I emotionally just had to checkout. I felt the worst migraine set in. I had to keep putting ice on the back of my neck and head in the wee morning hours. Come early Friday morning, Craig was up early. We were meeting at the church at 8am with the youth tongontonyhe Logan temple and then the Redneck water slide that afternoon. I was in bad shape and knew I physically could not attend. I had made arrangements with the others leaders and had things covered. Craig told me I was a quitter!! He said to me In an anger voice seriously you are not going. I told him I was not a quitter !! I was not well enough to he would have to go without me. I just needed to rest and try to tr gain my strength to cope with life. With him being angry with me only pushed me in a further deep dark hole. He left and I just slept the day away. It felt really bad I have broken down with this being his birthday 🎂. I could do nothing for him just an emotional wreck. It take a toll on me physically too. I literally slep the entire day. He got home by about 4:30 pm. I tired to get myself up and take a shower and clean up. He came in and noticed I had cleaned myself up. Told me I looked pretty, which I’m sure compared to how I’ve looked the past few days. We went to dinner at Cooper’s. I didn’t have much of an Appetite but I had not eaten for two days, I needed to try to eat something. It wasn’t much of a birthday celebration this year. I just didn’t have the energy to or the emotions to plan any thing, my well was dry. I need time to regroup myself. Craig just held me and we feel asleep holding each other. I just needed his arms around me!!
Friday/ Our Austin’s Birthday Today
Happy Birthday we love you and hope you are having a nice day!!! 🎈😎💕we will see you for Sunday dinner 😊 Austin is turning 13 years old another teenager in the family. This make this makes makes 8 teenagers in the family now. The grandkids are all growing up all tonfast for me. We are sonorous our Austin, he I has matured so much this past year and grown into a very special young man, he has a tender spirit and is a spiritual gaint, in a small body, he has grown a lot lately and passing up his mother in height. Letting Shannon know he would do a great talk at Landon’s baptism coming up this next Saturday. He did such a great job at Boston’s baptism. Today has been a relaxing day Craig tinkered with the SK boatvwe put it for a boat ride on the lake. It’s been able to get it running again. About that his dad built when he was a young teenager. About Austin’s age 12 going on 13. I finish cleaning in the basement, feels good to have the windows all clean and look outside at the lake, my leg does get really tired I have to sit down and rest a lot. I have spent today texting and updating my blog I had let the last two weeks go by and not recording my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to take the time. In preparing for my talk on Sunday I have a read several conference talks that has helped to give me some clarity in this season of my life and have been very inspirational to me in preparing my talk. I am thankful for the conference talks. The challenges that I have felt the last five months I have been able to re-read conference talks and gain a greater perspective that I did not see five months earlier the obstacles that I have been dealing with emotionally, in my young women’s calling and in this season of our lives that we are in, the senior years, what is my mission to fullfill at this season? I am preparing my talk on Sunday I have a gained a greater perspective and I need to take the time to record. So grateful that I am keeping a journal it helps me to make sense out of my life experiences The good and the challenging times. This day has flown by very quickly and I calming day to my soul.
Heading back to the Lake
I was hoping to stay in Dalt with Craig a few more days and celebrate his birthday coming up on Friday turning 63 on August 10th. Little Winn’s birthday was today and Tasha had haskbid we could watch the kids while they took him out for his birthday, they went to the water park while we looked at homes. They got back by 3:30pm and Winn was running fever. He did not want to play at the water park he was not feeling good at all. Tasha I still not feeling good either since Saturday there had been a terrible big going around in the family since the 1st of July. The Thomas and Towner family going on the second round I fan illness since then. Stacy stayed at their home after living here and the kids all got sick one week and another round out a different kind of a bug sure hope I don’t get this bug, I have bee surrounded by sick kids. We pack up and left for the lake not wanting to get sick. They had a change of plans with Winston sick on his birthday this year. I can’t keep Craig in town for long, the next thing I know he is driving us right back to the lake!! I’m just so tired!! Don’t know what we are going to do about a house?
Parade of Homes
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Following The Prophet
Elder Ronald A. Rasband Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke at the October conference in 2017 a month after accepting this calling which gave me great strength and courage to serve when I was feeling unsure - quote : The Lord’s hand is guiding you. By “divine design,” He is in the small details of your life as well as the major milestones. Through the experience of my own life’s journey, I know that the Lord will move us on that seeming chessboard to do His work. What may appear to be a random chance is, in fact, overseen by a loving Father in Heaven, who can number the hairs of every head. Not even a sparrow falls to the ground without our Father’s notice. The Lord is in the small details of our lives, and those incidents and opportunities are to prepare us to lift our families and others as we build the kingdom of God on earth. Remember, as the Lord said to Father Abraham, “I know the end from the beginning; therefore my hand shall be over thee.” the Lord knows what each of us is capable of doing and becoming. When we are righteous, willing, and able, when we are striving to be worthy and qualified, we progress to places we never imagined and become part of Heavenly Father’s “divine design.” Each of us has divinity within us. When we see God working through us and with us, may we be encouraged, even grateful for that guidance. When our Father in Heaven said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man,” He was talking about all of His children—each of you in particular.
I testify that The Lord’s hand is guiding each of us By “divine design,” He is in the small details of our lives...
Now, where does our agency fit in a “divine design”? We have a choice to follow or to not follow our Savior and His chosen leaders. The pattern is clear in the Book of Mormon....
President Nelson counseled each of us in the October 2017 conference talk - The Book of Mormon what would your life be like without it?
Quote : Immersing ourselves regularly in the truths of the Book of Mormon can be a life-changing experience....My dear brothers and sisters, I testify that the Book of Mormon is truly the word of God. It contains the answers to life’s most compelling questions. It teaches the doctrine of Christ. It expands and clarifies many of the “plain and precious” truths that were lost through centuries of time and numerous translations of the Bible....When I think of the Book of Mormon, I think of the word power. The truth’s of the Book of Mormon have the power to heal, comfort, restore, succor, strengthen, console, and cheer our souls....My dear brothers and sisters, I promise that as you prayerfully study the Book of Mormon every day, you will make better decisions—I promise that as you ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open, and you will receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life. I promise that as you daily immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day,... these are such blessed promises speaking to each of us from our directly from Heavenly Father thru our beloved Prophet.
President Nelson continues to counsel - Whenever I hear anyone, including myself, say, “I know the Book of Mormon is true,” I want to exclaim, “That’s nice, but it is not enough!” We need to feel, deep in “the inmost part” of our hearts, that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. We must feel it so deeply that we would never want to live even one day it.
This past year I have strived to read the Book of Morman daily as counseled and it has brought great strength, comfort and power to my soul. The Book of Mormon has truly been my iron rod. I was converted to the church when I was 11 yrs old and read the Book of Mormon I felt this deep burning in my very soul at a young age, and have felt the power & it’s guidance from reading and studying the words of God. We have encouraged the young women to follow the prophets counsel, to daily read the Book of Mormon!!
April conference 2018 was electrifying a Solemn Assembly in sustaining our new prophet something I will never forget!! t is proposed that Russell Marion Nelson be sustained as prophet, seer, and revelator and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, together with his counselors and members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as previously presented and voted upon. All in favor, please indicate by the uplifted hand. I felt the Holy Spirit witness to me this is truly a prophet of the Lord as we each stood and raised our hands in unity....
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are blessed to be led by living prophets—inspired men called to speak for the Lord, just as Moses, Isaiah, Peter, Paul, Nephi, Mormon, and many other prophets of the scriptures. We sustain the President of the Church as our prophet, seer, and revelator—the only person on the earth who receives revelation to guide the entire Church. We also sustain the counselors in the First Presidency and the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators.
Like the prophets of old, prophets today testify of Jesus Christ and teach His gospel. They make known God’s will and true character. They speak boldly and clearly,denouncing sin and warning of its consequences. At times, they may be inspired to prophesy of future events for our benefit.
We can always trust the living prophets. Their teachings reflect the will of the Lord, who declared: “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38).
Our greatest safety lies in strictly following the word of the Lord given through His prophets, particularly the current President of the Church. The Lord warns that those who ignore the words of the living prophets will fall (see D&C 1:14–16). He promises great blessings to those who follow the President of the Church:
“Thou shalt give heed unto all his words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;
We are promised as we follow the living prophets “For by doing these things the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory” (D&C 21:4–6).
... June 3 2018 we witnessed another all inspiring message from our Prophet president Nelson, an invitation for all youth 12-18 yrs age to enlist in the youth battalion of the Lord, in gathering Israel. My heart burned inside as we witnessed this great gathering of youth all over the world that are listening to the prophets voice. This has been a historic moment in the history of the restored church of Jesus Christ.
I have often contemplated the 10th article of faith- We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; how will that happen ? I love the story the prophet’s wife Wendy Nelson shared as she was in a conference in Russia of 100 women, getting to know the sisters by their lineage, in that conference there stood 11 of the 12 tribes of Israel. This is an excited gathering taking place as we share the gospel of Jesus thru out the world, prophecy being fulfilled.
Quote from President Nelson -My dear young brothers and sisters, these surely are the latter days, and the Lord is hastening His work to gather Israel. That gathering is the most important thing taking place on earth today. Nothing else compares in magnitude, nothing else compares in importance, nothing else compares in majesty. And if you choose to, if you want to, you can be a big part of it. You can be a big part of something big, something grand, something majestic!
When we speak of the gathering, we are simply saying this fundamental truth: every one of our Heavenly Father’s children, on both sides of the veil, deserves to hear the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Our youth in the the ward was challenged to preform 360 baptism this past year, that meant finding their own names themselves. We have exceeded over 400. The young women have caught the vision of attending the temple and asked to go weekly. At 5am we have met at the church to carpool weekly to the Logan temple. What a blessing to see these young women doing their part in hastening the work of the lord.
President Nelson in this most historic time invites all of us to enlist in gathering Israel, to be a light to world in preparing the world for the second coming of the our Savior Jesus Christ, we were each sent to earth at this precise time, he boldly says this is the most crucial time in the history of the world, to help gather Israel, there is nothing that is more important or of greater consequences. He has asked us to Pray daily that all Gods children might receive the blessing of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He challenged the youth of he church to be different, Be a light to the world. I’m so great full to be living in this very exciting time in the history of the world, That the prophets since Adam have foretold. May we all enlist boldly doing our part in sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ in preparing the world for the second coming of our Savior. We thank thee oh God for a prophet to lead us in this Latter Days. In the name of Jesus Christ amen 🙏
Working on my Talk
For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions. The Church will never deny your moral agency regarding what you should wear and exactly how you should look. But the Church will always declare standards and will always teach principles. As Sister Susan Tanner taught this morning, one of those principles is modesty. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, modesty in appearance is always in fashion. Our standards are not socially negotiable.
The faith of our Latter-day youth is extraordinary. Their willingness to answer the call of the Lord through our prophet is an example we must follow. Certainly, accepting the prophet’s challenges will not be an easy task, but the Lord will strengthen them, He will bless them, and He will direct their lives !
Youth leaders play an important role in the lives of young women. The Young Women General Presidency said of the prophet’s recent challenge to youth: “The responsibility to gather Israel belongs to each of us, because regardless of our age, we are all children of our Heavenly Father.
Love this hymn :Like ten thousand legions marching pg 253
Moves a mighty band of youth,
Boldly taking to all people
Zion’s glorious song of truth.
2. Out of ev’ry nation surging--
Sons of Joseph, Israel’s band--
Now they spread salvation’s message
In the tongues of ev’ry land.
3. Far across the mighty waters,
Reaching ev’ry waiting shore,
Seed of Abraham and Jacob
Like a mighty lion roar.
4. Come, ye nations, out of darkness;
’Tis the time of Christ’s return.
Heed the Restoration’s message;
Let its light within you burn.
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
House hunting
I just feel si unsettled and upset inside I feel like I just want to go home!! I don’t like living in the basement of one of my kids, And living at the lake full-time can’t even bring myself to go back there right now. I just have a sick knot in my stomach. I found a tanker home I want to look at. Stacy had her follow up appointment Monday morning. I babysat the kids for them. While gone I washed both of the beddings, and ready to go home if the doctor say’s it OK, They are excited to be back to their California home they have been here in Utah for five weeks now. I kissed them all goodbye. I was looking at a home at 1 o’clock in Hickory Ridge in Draper it look like a nice rambler on line. I actually was very disappointed in the home wasn’t what I wanted. Feeling really depressed about it house hunting is not fun!! I took pictures of some other homes that I want to drive by there was another home in Steeplechase and I wanted to look at text Eric to see if we can look at it met him Tuesday morning at 10 AM, it’s just not the house that we want. It needed a lot of work coukd put 100,000 easily. I took him to see the Rambler and he was not impressed either. Tosh and I went to the parade of homes for the afternoon fun to see all the new decorating ideas. Things are very expensive now I don’t know what we are going to end up buying is so ridiculous. I just know I can’t hide out at the lake any longer, I really want to get something here in the valley. I just feel like you have a depression hanging over me it’s Wednesday morning and all I can do is cry!! I found a house in a little ranch that I actually really like this just below our old neighborhood and Sandy and it is beautiful here this is where I would really like to be good still an expensive home and I know Craig’s not gonna be on board. Meeting Eric to look at it 9:45 this morning, I guess I need to pull myself together and get ready to go!! It’s our little Winstons six birthday today hard to believe he’s getting so big!! I need to try to cheer up!
Fighting Depression
I dropped the kids off Sunday afternoon with sigh of relief! It wears me out anymore watching the kids. I came back to Tasha’s house and crawl in bed took a long nap. I have spent hours online looking at houses really want to get something here in the Salt Lake Valley, just don’t know what? I’m so torn, I still want to have a house with a yard. I know I want to live up on the east bench and it cost more money. Finding something we even like it’s been a challenge in the price range we would like to be in. After my nap I stayed up till 1 o’clock in the morning looking at homes on the MLS. I took several pictures of homes to drive by and look at before I schedule a time with Eric. Looking for another home is very depressing for me. I was happy where we lived and asking myself why did we move? Here I’m staying in a basement room at my daughters home, this past year and counting 9 months. It has been very emotionally hard on me, giving up our home in the valley and moving to the lake fulltime- much harder than I even thought, at the time Craig was really pushing with him retiring and wanting to lean out our living expenses. I feel I only have about 10 more good years left to host family gatherings at our home, which I love to decorate for and look forward to the holidays. I really miss having a home in the valley, in the winter months it is to far for the kids and grandkids to come visit at the lake which they won’t do as we have found, we have had to drive down and host Christmas at Tasha’s home the past two years. Thanksgiving this year was really hard hosting at the lake on my neveres having them all there trying to cook was a challenge for me,the noise of everyone and having everyone in the kitchen was very unsettleing for me. I couldn’t handle the noise trying to cook a big dinner. I liked it much better when I cook and then they just all show up. I really don’t want to have thanksgiving at the lake again, is not what I thought it would be like. I just feel such a cloud hanging over me. Criag and I are not on the same page I can see that, he has reined in our living expensense as tight as it can get. I spend very little money and when I do spend any money he makes me feel guilty spending it. He questions every little thing I spend, which hurts my feelings, by nature I’m frugal, he needs to let lose! I feel smothered in every aspect of our lives. Gave up our home, now living at the lake full time which has been a huge adjustment for me. He is in total control of our spending. This has been a challenge our entire marriage. Finding the balance with him is so hard for me. I just don’t say anything, hold it in when I don’t agree, I just can’t live with the contention. These retirement years is not what I thought? I’m fighting the depression cloud hanging over me right now, I’ve got to figure something out?
Baby sitting kids
Tasha & Bridger got home by noon Saturday. She wasn’t feeling great. They had tickets for the American concert in Windover so she asked if I could babysit for the evening they left early afternoon and I have seven kids to watch by myself!! We managed OK! Tasha ended up sleeping over at a hotel and coming home Sunday morning. She has the bug that Stacy and her family has had now. She said she felt it coming on while they were driving down with body aches coming on. Sunday I had all the 4 Towner kids take a bath and clean up. I told them I’d take them to see mommy and daddy when they were done which motivated them to get in the shower and out. The Boys are terrible at taking a bath it’s a fight getting them to do it. They were actually really good, took their own shower and got themselves dressed, by the time I return them to their parents it was about 3 PM in the afternoon. Stacy had a doctors appointment Monday morning a follow up from her surgery, if things went well they plan on heading back home Monday afternoon to California.
Our Triff
Friday morning I woke up early and sat out on the lower porch to read a chapter in the book I’ve been reading. A quiet place to calm my nerves. Reading a book was helping to distract me, from an emotional breakdown. I just get so frazzled this time of year from all the family coming to Beat Lake. I came in to get ready for Sadie bug’s show at the Pickleville theater, When I came in Craig was going outside the upper door, we just missed each other. I saw him walking across the lawn. Craig came in really sharp with me he couldn’t find me!! I don’t know how many times I go looking for him, he’s always running off somwhere. He told me Chad had texted, Stacy had passed out going to the bathroom and that she needed our help. I wasn’t planning on going down. Trisha had bought us tickets to go to the Pickleville theater that night and we had Trisha’s old bishop and his wife coming in town for the weekend, and planning on attending Aubrey’s softball tournament in Logan later today, we had Shar and Trisha here with their families. There is just a lot going on. I’m trying to stay calm. I haven’t felt like I’ve had a home all summer, been invaded with all the company. I get crazy this time of year and just tired from it all!! I know that Criag & I have been maxed out. I could feel his stress with me by getting cross, I hate it when he is short and cross with me. I was trying to get ready to go and he had me so upset by the time we left for the play. Trying hard to not say anything ubkind back. I just shut down inside and so angry at him now. I told Stacy it wasn’t a good time for me to babysit for her having this surgery. It was their choice and they said that they would figure it out not to worry about it. Tasha is out of town and her two older sisters are at the lake. Craig was cross in saying that he would go get the kids and bring them up. I said to him, are you going to watch the kids? They were just here for 10 days and I didn’t have any help from him. He just doesn’t get how hard it was on me and I knew Trisha didn’t want to have to deal with them all there this weekend with her friends there. I’m just an emotional reck right now, trying to keep it together. Craig getting sharp with me just tipped me over the edge. I was so angry with him by the time we got to the play I didnt even want to talk to him. I tried to enjoy the show even though I was so upset with him. I’m just at my tipping point!!! I feel like a bundle of nerves and I am having a breakdown. I came back after the play grab my backpack from girls camp that I have not even unpacked yet I just got home yesterday from camp. That was hard on me physically getting older I know. I told Michael to pack up that we were heading back to Salt Lake today. Craig was angry saying no he was going which I knew he couldn’t handle those four kids by himself. And I didn’t want him bringing them up to the lake. Next thing I knew he wasn’t there he had gone to the post office!!! again I am looking for him!! He comes in with a pile of mail, I try talking to him and we’re getting nowhere. I didn’t want to be fighting, told him I was going to Salt Lake and I would take MIchael home!! I was just so angry I felt I was going to explode I’ve had enough!!! I do not want to live at the lake full-time anymore and holding all of this in for months and months and I’ve been giving him the signs that I have been unhappy just trying to be patient. I left I feeling like I didn’t even want to come back, I’ve just been hanging out at Tasha’s house since Friday. I Got in the car to drive to Salt Lake, Micheal with me, I burst into tears. Micheal reached over and gave me a big hug of comfort. Craig can be sharp with us at times and not realize how hurtful. MIchael is very understanding. I’ve got to pull myself together. It felt good to just get out and drive, MIcheal and I talked all the way down we had a good visit. We drove straight to Towner’s home to see what I could do to help. They were really surprised when we walked in. I told Chad to let me take the kids for a few days, let Stacy rest tomorrow, she needs time without the kids around in order to heal. We loaded them all up in their car and drove out to take MIcheal home. I now I have Stacey’s four kids to care for a few days and I am a bundle of nerves my stomach is in knots!!! Just trying to keep it together!! I had a short visit with Shannon and little baby Ashton, I miss so much, I haven’t been out to see them much all summer, just another very short visit not able to stay long since I have Stacy’s kids they were hungry and tired. Little Farrah was running a fever. I came to Tasha’s house for the evening while they were still out of town getting back on Saturday. To my surprise Craig shows up for the night. I know he felt bad for being cross with me. We both are just frazzled. I was still hurt and we didn’t say two words to each other still. He slept on one side of the bed and I slept on the other with baby Enzo in the middle of us. By morning we talked very brief to one another. Craig left by 10:30 am to support our Aubrey at her softball tournament in Logan. I wanted to go see her play but not able to go now babysitting the kids. I just need some time away from the lake. I know I get burned out by August every year, and now living at the lake full time I have no where to go to regroup.
Saydee Bugs Acting Class
This week Saydee and Aubrey took an acting class at the Pickleville theater so they were here all week at the lake. Friday morning was their performance show at the Pickleville theater. Aubrey had to miss the show she ended up having her softball tournament in Logan and had to be there by 11 AM with our drive time she wasn’t able to be there. Saydee Burbidge did a great job she has a really good voice she is a great singer. Fun to watch her perform.
Raspberry Days
I got home from girls camp Thursday morning at about 10:30 AM I was so dirty I had to take a shower and I went to bed and slept for a couple hours, I was beat. That afternoon we all went to the raspberry day parade in Garden City the kids all got lots of candy and fun little trinket things enjoyed spending the time with our family.
Girls Camp
We had a very nice girls can’t. Pat Argyle my camp leader did an awesome job. I can’t up Saint Charles canyon just below Minnetonka care it was a beautiful campground. The girls all had a great time it was a good time for bonding with the girls in the ward and with the leaders as well. I have to say I am getting older, my heart is just not in it anymore, I feel out of place with the girls. Ever since his blowup with Sierra in March it has just taken the joy out of my calling. I really don’t want to be a young women’s president anymore. I don’t like going to meetings on Sunday mornings and I our planning meetings. The last meetings is the better with me. I just feel like we’ve been serving a mission in my heart and soul since I’ve been here and now I’m ready to go home. Girls camp was good for everyone just trying to hang in there.
