Sight Seeing

Mom & I drove over to Nacogdoches Texas to see the Azelea‘s.  They are so pretty.  Nacogdoches is the oldest town in Texas.  Fun to get out and sight see today.  Michele and her husband John watch TV all day and I didn’t want to sit around today so we got out of the house today.  The weather is beautiful, spring is coming here!! It was high 70’s today.  Michele is fixing us a yummy steak dinner. She has been serving us in bed each morning.  She fixed us three meals yesterday and I’m stuffed from all her good cooking.

Visiting My Sister Michele

Mom & I drove to Timpson, Texas a small town on the Texas and Louisiana boarder.  We slept over for the night.  She served us breakfast in bed, so nice of her it was a yummy breakfast.  I’m enjoying seating on her country swing.  They bought an old 100 year old country home and have slowly been remodeling it.  I love her big front porch sitting outside.  Spring is here the leaves are budding out and it is very peaceful.   They live right by the train and fun to hear as it passes by.

Friday

I slept in today it is 10:30am.  I need to get up.  Mom is waiting for home heath care to come take care of her feet and then we have another doctor's appointment in Tyler, Texas today which is north of us in East Texas glad it is not Dallas.  We are thinking about going to my sisters home for the weekend after her doctor appointment, I want to get up and go for a walk today and enjoy the warmer weather,  feels so good to not have snow.

Day Two

I slept ok, kept walking up.   We drove to downtown Dallas for an appointment with a Knee surgeon. Mom is wanting a knee replacement,  she really needs one, but is at high risk,  so see what the doctor says today.  She is filling out all new paperwork hasn’t seen this doctor before.  This Dallas location for doctors is suppose to be the best in the State so we will see what the doctor says.  Driving in Dallas traffic is crazy. Mom at 82 years old does really good driving in this crazy busy traffic.  Spring is here, it is 75 degrees today and feel so good. Didn’t get to enjoy the pretty weather, stuck in the doctor’s office all afternoon.  We were there for over three hours.   We got stuck in the terrible 4pm Dallas traffic, bumper to bumper.  Mom does so well driving In it.   With her on Star navigator it is a life saver getting directed out of town.  The roads are crazy splitting off all directions and not any warning which lane to traffic her age and by herself.  Bless her heart!!  I have to say she is a brave soul in her older years!!  Far cry from the days when I was living at home she would be scared to death and freak out.  We Went all day with out eating, we were so hungry we drove thru Sonic to get food and came home to eat it.  We spent the evening talking and didn’t crawl in Bed till midnight.  Thank the Lord for a safe return. I love the beautiful Blue Bonnets this time of year.

Texas Trip

Craig and I drove down to salt lake Tuesday so I would not be rushed coming to the airport.  We went to a late movie last night.  We have not been to a movie in many months.  We saw Green book it was a good movie.   I arrived at my Mother's home in Canton, Texas today.  Tommy and Richelle picked me up at the Airport and drove me to Canton which is a 2 1/2 hour drive.  It has been so nice to visit. Mom is really excited to have me here. I plan on staying for two weeks which is going to be long. Pray I can manage my time and be helpful to my mother.  We have a doctor appointment in the afternoon tomorrow in downtown Dallas.  I’m really tired tonight hope I sleep in a strange bed, takes a few days getting use to it.

Debbie & Richelle

St Patrick’s Day / Towner Grand Kids.

Today has been a busy Sabbath day.  I made it to church today.  It had been 6 weeks the longest time I have missed church in my life time other than an illness I had in 2001.  We hosted Bishop youth discussion at our home tonight.  I’m made fun treats shamrock ☘️ cookies and green cupcakes with green drink and mint chocolate chip ice cream.  We played gospel topic history questions?  Everyone had a great time.

Craig teaching the lesson

Youth playing Pool, they like to play when the come to our home

Happy St Patrick' Day

Enjoying Mint Ice Cream

Our yummy green drink and treats

Yummy Green cupcakes I made

Hanging out Craig, Bishop England, Brother Menlove

                     Stacy sent me the most darling pictures of the grandkids on St Patrick's Day

March 13th Boston’s 9th Birthday

We drove down to Salt Lake Wednesday morning in a snow storm.   It was tense riding in the car for me the roads were really bad.  We have had a lot of snow.  Salt lake on the benches got a lot of snow again.  A lot more than we have at the lake.  We are ready for spring its the middle of March it looks like winter wonderland.   Craig had a busy day planned.  We drove to a doctor appointment for his shoulder in Park City.   The doctor said he has bone on bone but not bad enough for a shoulder replacement, advised him to not push pass what hurts in his movement.  He has to adjust to the way he does things.  Getting older is not fun.   We drove to Tasha’s home and I hung out with Tasha, while Craig meet with Aunt Cheryl, he is helping her with her money investments.  She has been a real challenge to work with.   We looked at two homes in Autumn ridge, and one up by the Draper temple, the 1990’s home are just too dated and they need a lot of work for the standard we would like.   I found out the home in steeple Chase I have been hoping for was sold at the Auction on March 4th which was frustrating that we didn’t get a chance to bid on it.   I called Eric to see why we didn’t know about it.  Eric said the attorney said it didn’t sell so not sure what is happening.    We had a nice dinner with the Burbidge family to celebrate Boston’s Birthday.   A yummy meal at Texas Rhode house.  Our Boston is now 9yrs old.  He is a very special grandson in our family.  Buck his dad is a day later on his birthday turning 42 years old. Fun to spend time with our family.

Boston 9yrs old

 

Day Light Savings Time

Another Sunday. The time moved up an hour, so it is getting lighter, the days are brightening up. Spring is slow coming at the lake,  we have lots of snow.  It has snowed off and on all week long. Monday we drove down to Salt Lake to look as some homes, which was very depressing, we looked at several condo homes by the draper temple and that was really depressing for what it cost and the quality of the home is not there.  We want smaller yet good craftsmanship in the next home we buy. Finding a place with two bedrooms on the main floor is really hard when we have basements in Utah.  We have looked and looked and not having  any luck.  We drove up to Suncrest, there is too much snow, too windy and we got a ticket coming down the mountain road with a steep grade.   Craig had down shifted and we were still going too fast.  Didn’t know it was only 40mph on the main road.  So we got a ticket to pay and rock flew up and hit the wind shield now a crack in the window. costing us $ this trip down to the Valley.  I started to cry,  house hunting is so depressing,  I just want a home again!! I’m so home sick, is the only way I can say it.  It is to cold and lonely for me living at the lake in the winter.  With Craig’s surgery we haven’t done much the past six’s weeks letting him heal.  I’ve been an emotional reck since the middle of January when Brother Wallentine yelled at me!! Trying to pull myself out of my funk.  It is really hard for me.  Sunday again.  I woke up at 3:00am and couldn’t sleep.  I worked on my computer on ancestry.com.  I deleted one of my family files, my John Bails born 1785 which I had lots of research, I was not happy when I realized what I had done.  It took me hours to recover the mess I made again.  Luckily I had other family files that were saved and I could copy and download in a new file by recreating what I deleted.  Thank goodness for the internet now.  I worked a full day this week on my family history, another day working on my church history digital scrapbook. And creating videos on my phone from the pictures I have taken the past few years.  Just discovered how my new phone works, it is an awesome fun project for me.  These projects have all been a great distraction for me with the frustration and sorrow I feel inside.   We weren't in Salt Lake long we came back Tuesday afternoon so Craig could be back for Bishopric.  Being released I stayed home,working on my scrapbook,   Monday we were in town for Shannon, Ashtyn threw a hard object at her forehead and she needed to go to emergency for stitches.  Another scar on her forehead.  She is not happy about that.  Glad we were in town to meet her at the hospital.  Tuesday morning Craig and I woke up at 4am so we just got up and went to the sports mall to work out.  We were there by 5am.  It felt good to get a good work out in.  We both are really miss going to the sport mall, I enjoyed walking around the track a mile.  Our house hunting didn't last long and we were back up at the lake.  Thursday night I played bunco with 12 ladies that meet every month for dinner and game time.  I enjoyed my time out.   Trying to find things to do. Menlove’s came over Thursday Morning and talked to us about serving a mission, the process of how to fill out a mission request.  In some ways I’m ready to go but it is a process that takes several months.  Craig’s wants to stay till fall so he has had two years in his calling in the Bishopric.  I don’t know if I can wait that long.  It seems like a long time right now to me.  I’m back peddling right now in serving a mission after living at the lake going on 2 & half years, I’m ready to go home where ever that is.  I want to support Craig, but I’m having a really hard time.  My emotion are too close to the surface and I break down and cry all to easily right now.  I started crying again today trying to get ready for church today.  I just couldn’t get myself there.  It was our ward conference, I wanted to go, I picked my clothes out yesterday ahead of time.   As I got ready I got anxiety about going and sitting by myself.  My emotions are just so tender.   I knew the stake leaders would be there and I just didn’t want to have any conversation with them, because I knew I would start crying.  I didn't want to let my emotions show.  I’m still very hurt and traumatized from what has happen with my calling.  I still need time to heal.   I know Craig is disappointed I didn’t go to church today.  When he left, I started getting ready and then the tears started up again and I just couldn’t get myself there.  I barely got myself cleaned up and had to to take a nap by the time Craig got home from church.  He has been distant toward me the rest of day.  Which I know I have not been warm and fuzzy either.   I don’t know what to say.  I just feel in this cloud of sorrow and don’t know how to get out.  I told Craig weeks ago he was going to have to carry me,  I don’t know how to get over this!  Serving with all my heart and then having a fall out with the parents has been really hard with no building any bridges of communication.  It's their way and the highway for me.  I still feel abandon by my priesthood leaders in not supporting me.  There has been no respect toward me. It has really rocked my faith in how  church callings are called.  Is it inspiration vs just who can fill this position at the time?  I  have served countless hours and now I’m out!! I should be happy, but what I’m I do with all this spare time?  There are so many emotions pulling at my heart.  I just need more time out to heal, just pray my husband can understand my feelings and give me the time I need to heal and not push me.  Just feel like I’ve had another set back today!  I just want to go to sleep things will be better tomorrow!

Beautiful picture of the Lake

Sabbath Day

They are officially releasing me today in Sacrament.  It is fast & Testimony today.  I just can’t bare to attend today it is to emotional for me.  I want to support my husband, he is conducting today and has to announce the changes in the young women presidency.  I’m just trying to hang on emotionally right now.  I just don’t feel like I have it to give right now.  I have been beaten down and I need time to heal from all this.  It feels good to just stay home by myself today and let my husband serve in his calling.  I have enjoyed making family videos on my phone.  Adding music to the pictures is so fun.

A beautiful picture of the Lake spring is slowly coming

Doing this and working on family history is giving me the time to heal and still feel like I’m being productive with my time.  I have to cheer up and be happy and quit crying.   No more tears !! 

Preparing for our Sunday Lesson

Come Follow me lesson - Matthew 6:1–4 I should care more about what God thinks of me than what others think.  Such an encouraging thought taught in this weeks lesson which sets deep in my heart by the struggles I have been going Thru the past few months.  With brother Wallentine and sister Wallentine’s  unkind words toward me have been so hurtful.   I know my Heavenly Father loves me and is pleased with my efforts even when others do not see it and are critical of me.  I need to let go and be happy.  I posted a video of all of young women pictures I took this past year and half on Facebook it has been a healing time for me to reflect on the joys from my calling despite the challenges I have had to deal with that has brought great sorrow and stress to me as the president.  Sister Menlove so thoughtful to give me call and send me a sweet text in my time of sorrow-  Debbie, I went through a very difficult time when I was released from the Relief Society presidency. There were some conflicts, and I felt like a failure and like I didn’t handle things well. I was very upset with Martell. I was sad and depressed for sometime. I haven’t shared this with anyone but Martell. It was a difficult challenge for me. It has taken time to work things through. I still feel bad about it. I trust you to keep this close to your heart. You may already know that I am extremely private. I love and admire you and the amazing energy and love you put into whatever you do! I am so impressed with all that you do for the young women and how much you love them. I am super grateful for your willingness to share your MANY talents! You have helped me so many times!! I appreciate your kindness and friendship. Thanks for blessing my life! With MUCH love, Ronda -  Thank you for such a so needed message.. I have been in the depths of sorrow, I would like to visit with you in confidence. Sorry I missed your call tonight.... sister Ward sent me such a sweet note on Facebook after I posted the video...  I loved watching this! I am so glad you captured so many memories through the video and photos. I know Tessa has enjoyed having you as the Young Women’s president. ❤️ You go all out, put a lot of time and prayer into everything and make sure the kids feel loved. ❤️. Thank you for everything!!...  These are notes were so needed to see I have done good !!! Despite the Problems.

March 1st

Today is my dear baby sisters birthday. She is turning 57 years old.  Wishing her a happy birthday 🎁 today.  Yeah it is March!!  The weather has warmed up a little at the lake the past few days in the 40’s and the snow is melting.  So anxious for spring!! Winter has been long this year.  I haven’t wanted to venture out much in the cold.  With Craig’s knee surgery in January it has limited our activity outside in the snow this year.  I don’t enjoy being in the cold as much anymore not motivated to get out in it It will be nice to have it warm up.   I have been so sad lately, trying to get over the drama with my young women calling and the sadness in knowing I’m going to be released this Sunday!!  They didn't release me last Sunday as I have hoped.   Mixed emotions for me. Glad and sad at the same time.  Got home from my trip to Vegas and couldn’t get out of bed for a day, depression just over came me again.  I’m wanting a home so badly and having such a hard time finding something in the Salt Lake Valley.  There are home in St George I like and the weather is so much better there in the winter months, just don’t know if I can stand being so far from my girls and grand kids.  I do miss the little pockets of time.  It is just so frustrating to me I want to find a place to call home again and feel more settled.   Trying to cheer myself up.  I have spent time making videos on my phone of our family memories and my young women services this past year and a half.  Looking at the pictures and putting them to music has cheered me up.  I know this Sunday is going to be very hard being released.  I don’t know if I can bear attending sacrament this Sunday.  Trying to be strong!!  My  mother sent me a the sweetest note on facebook with a picture of my pageant days when I worked with lots of young women to remind me of the good work I have done in the past.  It cheered me up and I have such fond memories. 

Debbie & Tiffany when she was crowned Mrs Utah 2011