Beautiful Fall

The weather has been a beautiful fall this past week with the cooler days and nights here at the lake.  The Autumn leaves are in full color now.  I love this time of year.  Craig and I went on a 6 hour autumn ride yesterday. It was so pretty-  we rode with over 10 other groups for the outdoor adventure show that was Filming they needed ATV’s people riding the trails here at the mountains.   The show airs on Sunday evenings at 10:30pm Oct 10th will be the highlights of our ride aired on their show. It is called “At Your Leisure” so that will be fun to watch - there is a group picture of us at the end and Craig and I are standing right in the middle of the group. I don’t take any pictures- my camera doesn’t  take that good of pictures on my phone- doesn’t do it justice the scenery is so amazing right now-  I just live all thr autumn colors.  We were beat when we go home and had to take a 2hour nap.  I was suppose to go to the temple last night with the relief society sisters but know one was carpooling - I did not want to drive Logan canyon in the dark back by myself- Craig want coming- so I just stayed home.  I don’t feel safe driving it by myself at night-  I have been working on cleaning out old files on my g-mail account- it has been fun to read thru the things I have saved over the years.  I have been copy and pasting 2011-2013 Blog entries that Stacy and Natasha sent me in that time frame-  the years have gone by all to fast.  Stacy lost a lot of her blog entries when her blog website went down- so she is glad I have copies of her entries.  So I’m taking the time to recreate in my word documents for her and for my journal entries in the time as well - fun to reflect on our lives and how blessed we are.  It a time consuming project.  I need to take a break - I was up late Tuesday night till 3am and up early working on it- I worked on it last night while Craig wat he’s the BYU game.  Something I can do while he is watching football- at least we are in the same room together.  I was up early this morning working on it for a few hours.  I took the time to fix us a yummy breakfast with fried eggs, bacon and fired potatoes in coconut oil my favorite.  I just picked up to 50 lbs bags of potatoes the red and yellow Yucon’s from a framer in Idaho. They are so yummy and live cooking with them all year - it’s a year supply to share with our family and enjoy.   Jaxon and some of his friends were coming up this weekend, I was looking forward to him coming he hasn’t been back up since June.  Well they aren’t coming now.  I invited his parents to come  this weekend so see if they come.   The fall is just so beautiful want them to share in the beauty.  I also invited Natasha and her family too just don’t know if they can break away.  The boys have football every Saturday.  We went and watched them last Saturday.  It a short weekend for them just coming up on Saturday night and leaving on Sunday.  So don’t think they will come.  The Burbidge family are all busy - Buck and Trisha are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow and be gone a week.  She asked me to sleep over in the evenings while they are gone with Boston and Karlee. I’m going to head down to Draper on Sunday evening.  It’s conference weekend and I’m looking forward to listening to all the inspiring messages given. It gives me a spiritual batter charge.  Last Conference was just after Craig's Mom past and we both were so sad.  It a beautiful day and I have lots I want to get done - wash my sheet, dust, and wash some window. I’m going to enjoy this beautiful fall day - we are so very blessed and live in such beautiful surroundings.  

Saying GoodBye-

Craig Saying Good-bye to his mothers home- it was an emotional time for him- his eyes filled with tears as he stood outside his mother home saying good by- it feels so odd going to St George and not seeing his mother there anymore- his two sisters Chris and Shelly worked hard clearing things out of her home.  It felt strange being in her home and not being there with her anymore. I 

Wanted to take the time to record about our trip to St George- we drive down in one day and back the next to pick up Craig’s mothers bedroom set and close on her home she lived in for over 20 years.  They closed on her home that week by Friday the 18th. Last week the check came thru on the closing of her home.  Craig received $100,000.00 from the closing.  Each of the 4 siblings the same amount.  Craig mother was a good Stewart with her money and left each of her children a nice chuck of money.  she left us more than any our our parents.  She appeared to have the least options of earning money as a single women for many years.  She didn’t work that much. She was really good at saving what money she did receive and making it grow-  she invested what little she had and we as her children have benefited greatly.  So thankful to her and her sacrifice to leave her children an inheritance.  Last week Craig and Snowy time at our Draper home for 4 days - we drove down Wednesday for Natasha’s Ivy picnic celebration.  It all turned out so nicely.  I enjoyed spending time with my daughter Trisha- she came over Thursday and her and Buck moved Mom Lavon's bed room furniture down the stairs and into the basement bedroom we were placing it all.  We then spent the   next 5 hours moving things around and figuring out how to place it all in the bedroom.  It is a snowball effect moving things around.  I had to take everything out that was there and figure out where to move and what to get rid of.  We were able to place it very nicely with all the 6 pieces- it does fill the room.  I moved the. Wedding from that room to our other bedroom in the basement that I was trying to decorate a more masculine room. This room now is turning out to be another feminine room with what I have collected.   I’m staring ou et and still trying to tie in what I do have.  Friday Trisha and I spent the afternoon shopping for decorating items yo pull it all together-  I enjoyed spending time with her-  we had fun shopping and having lunch together.  We found the prefect fabric to make some pillows on the bed that tie in the bedroom set. 

I’ll take more pictures with the finished project.  

These are all the furniture pieces we had advertised to sell- they had lowered to $1,500. And still no response.  So I told Craig I wanted to buy it and keep it the set.  

Sweet Email From Saydee

Hey Grammy!!! I just wanted to email you and say how much I love you!! I miss you every day and thank you for everything you have done for me. I have been truly blessed with the bests grandparents ever. 

I am doing so good in Washington and almost done with my 2 transfer. I'm in my 4th month as a missionary now which is totally insane to me. Feels like yesterday I was giving you a hug and saying goodbye. I have loved growing closer to the lord and getting to share his love and light with others. Grandma you've been such an example to me and I hope to have half the knowledge you have of the gospel one day. You are truly extraordinary!! I love you grandma!! Hope you and grandpa are doing so well.  I read this first thing this morning - fun to receive such a sweet email from our oldest grand-daughter Saydee bug.  

Fear Not

My scripture for the day that speaks to my heart-  Isaiah 43:1 But now thus saith the ​​Lord​​ that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have ​​​redeemed thee​, I have called ​thee​ by thy name; thou ​art​ mine.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear​ thou not; for I ​am​ with thee: be not dismayed; for I ​am​ thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

​​​13 ​For I the ​​Lord​​ thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and started my Come Follow me lesson material for this week-  studying chapters  40-49 of Isaiah this week.  I’m amazed how the lesson each week speaks to my heart and applies directly to conversations I’m having with my daughters on a daily basis and the challenges I see in the world around me. How do I deal with it when it appears to be freighting -what lies ahead- our world is spinning out of control at an ever increasing pace by the evil designs of conspiring men throughout the world acting as a God themselves and saying they know what is best for the people.  Striving to take away our agency and forcing unrighteousness actions upon the mass population.  It not easy to feel anxious when I can see the world heading in a doomsday direction- how do we channel thru this turbulent time in the history of the world when there is so much happening all at once all round us at every front. 

Come Follow me lesson material -  Isaiah’s message to us is simple: “Fear not” (Isaiah 43:1). All is not lost. The Lord has not forgotten you, and He has power over situations that seem out of your control. Isn’t the Lord “he that created the heavens, and … he that spread forth the earth, and … he that giveth breath unto the people upon it”? (Isaiah 42:5). Isn’t He more powerful than Babylon, ( World) than sin, than whatever is holding you captive? “Return unto me,” He pleads, “for I have redeemed thee” (Isaiah 44:22). He can heal, restore, strengthen, forgive, and comfort—whatever is needed for you, in your case.  I love this inspired message - speaking to my heart no matter how challenging it may appear and we may suffer because of the wickedness of others around us - I need ti have courage and not fear - the lord will give me comfort and an escape from the effect of evil that surrounds us in this difficult world-  

This scripture also speaks to my heart today in my study to give me more clarity and conviction to stay the course -  

Isaiah 43: 2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.-  The people need not fear, recall when Moses lead the Isrealites out of Egypt -that when they passed through the great waters of the Red Sea-  it was the Lord who revealed his great power so that they would know he was with them.  When they cross the river Jordan on the way to the promised land it was the Lord who held back the flowing river in a gigantic wall of water at flood tide so that they could cross over on dry land - Joshua 3:14-17 By the same token the people can be made to endure fire of the greatest intensity, Even as a companion of Daniel in Babylon -  see Daniel 3: 19-27 

The New Age

Shannon just sent me a song to listen to and how it speaks to us and world which we are living in now-  to very profound- Shannon has a gift to see things in a greater light-  Talk about mind blown 🤯 a full circle ⭕️ moment last night Ryan and I watched the movie 

The Host and we where taking about Stephanie Meyers the author and how she is on a whole other level with twilight series and this movie.   knowing now -what I didn’t see then- Stephanie Meyers is on whole another  level for me … which  brings me to this song imagine Dragons radioactive .. This was one of the many songs that would just start playing on my my Alexis or my phone turning on by themselves which totally freaked me out big time… Now able to see what I wasn’t able to see then-  this song had a huge message for me it couldn’t be more fitting for me or us right now with what’s going on in the world today . Also so fitting for what I  personally was going through and what was happening to me back then- its a full circle moment I cannot believe I did not get this earlier .. Listen to the words of the song -  “Waking up waking up to to the New Age -radioactive-  apocalypse- breathing in the chemicals-  checking out of the prison bus - I Can feel it in my bones.    The movie Host - Yeah it wasn’t my favorite movie when I saw it . But I have A huge appreciation for everything that this movie represents today . For one ☝️world entities are trying to inhabit and manipulate human beings by possession and other Satanic rituals getting them to do things for their own bidding.  I fully believe this is happening today . I liked this song too I love it even more because of what it means to me . It’s so accurate just even in the sense of today just picking up the whole political stance of everything happening today with the red and blue political divide - The whole breathing in the chemicals 💉✈️ with the world wide spraying id the entire planet- and the belief - I believe these shots are literally making us radioactive to 5G …checking out of the prison bus meaning-  checking out of the matrix and the lies and programming.  This song is just so insanely on point. I wanted to understand how he came to write this song because it feels so deep.   I liked his music anyways but I did a deep dive on Dan Reynolds and sure enough he is definitely on my level big time !! 

The story-  We all struggle with some kind of auto immune disease or physical Element struggling with depression or anxiety for long periods of time- mental and or physical torture having a message to share with the world lacking the understanding beliefs -believe in yourself to share our messages his story and  journey its the same theme over and over again for many I have come across in my own journey.  Also being a person that feels things so deeply- realizing not everyone feels and sees what we see and feels it the same way -an empathic soul and being an Empath it’s exhausting . Mom did you hear the part at the beginning of the song Where he says-“

 ash to dust - breathing in the Chemicals . With that huge gasping of air sound afterward in the song - which I did listen for it -  Also - “ I wipe my brow from my sweet and Rust” .. meaning to me !!? 

our bodies do their best to detox from all the smart dust and  chemicals being sprayed ✈️ on us- by these chem trails of toxic chemicals in the air - 

Our blood 🩸is red like rust and being full of chemicals like the aluminum and mercury that is being sprayed - Just like a rusty metal breaking down over time and becoming brittle and flaky no longer strong⚙️🪚 

Just like what it’s doing to the human body breaking down  💪🏼 as it becomes Brittle and breaks us down .  this is where heavy metals are stored  In our bones 🦴that’s why heavy metals is hard to process - to detox from our bodies . The part meaning .. I Feel it in my bones 🦴 meaning feeling change is happening on a spiritual level too . 

“Enough to make my system blow” 

  Meaning the Central nervous system and our mind altering perspective of the world we live in today- hugely changing 

“I’m waking up to a - to the New Age . 

revolution .. “ 

“I’m blown away .. “

I believe this was definitely changed higher wisdom being so relevant for us today on many levels physically and spiritually - full of  2 different meanings  on everything Amazing !!  .. He’s definitely a light worker …. “ respond from me -  “ Yes I got it but not to the level you did until you explained so well -  when was this song written I know it has been around for several years, I have really liked the song too and wondered what it was all about - thinking more More sci-fi and fiction but now I can see there’s a lot of truth in that song we are living in a chemical world.  Evil forces - principalities are at full pace to destroy the human race - but God has promised us they will not win !! He will help us fight the battle and give us the tools we need - but we have to look for them and ask for them - it will take faith and work on our part to overcome -  Shannon response - “ I thought the same thing Mom really until yesterday .. 

when it hit me in a full circle ⭕️ moment. Before that I was not understanding and it actually had a negative feeling for me because of how this song kept playing in such a paranormal activity way a  real scary time that was for me . But now it’s an amazing down load now that I have this higher perspective of what I wasn’t able to see or understand in the beginning process of my spiritual Awakening- that’s why I say this song has a very important messages for all of us who can see the things going on right now in the world ..  my response- we have to spread light and truth despite the deceptions going on - it is going to be a fight for the truth.  “ We have to spread the light and truth - it is a literal war going on and right now it appears the forces of evil are combining in full forces on all aspects of our lives-to literally destroy human life - I never dreamed the plaques of the last day would be manmade - they don’t come from God - one of the plaque of the last days- is the fishes and life in the oceans would die - wow after I listening to the video the Dimming I can see now that is happening and will become even more severe - the season of drought and famine in the land and we can see that is happening now and will increase in our county too - due to evil men combining forces to destroy the human population-  the skis will become dark and the sun refuse to shine her light - this is what they are doing with Chemical spraying - it effects and is killing the earth- well as harmful to human too.  There will be a A desolating sickness that will wipe out the mass population- Which these deadly vaccine are the beginning of the process in weakening our bodies and causing even a more powerful disease to submerge -  it is all very alarming and happening all at the same time !! We are being hit hard at all angles- the attacking of our gender - it not male and female anymore - what is your pronoun ? This is what is being taught in the school starting in kindergarten.  I just listened to a teacher in the school system talking about the various sexual pronouns !! I can see the world is spinning out of control -  there are going to be many frighten people - and it is frightening when you realize the state in which the world is heading -  All I can say is God  save us!! 

Shannon: “ Yes Stacy and I have had many Conversations concerning those exact things when things started to happen we never imagined it would be man-made we thought it would be natural something like God cleansing the earth of the wicked ?? 

Not so -much more like an entity disguised as men and women playing God trying to cleansing the seed of Adam from the earth 🌍 all men and women good and not so good .  

None of it is natural all the depictions in the Bible are not of a natural causes. 

But I believe God isn’t going to save us like most are hoping or wanting him too ?..

 Only because this is the Ultimate true test of why we are hear at this time.   

He has already given us all we need everything we need to save ourselves exists within us all right now … 

We just need to wake up dig deep activate this memory this knowing this Knowledge within us all taking what he’s already given to us to succeed !!. 

We are of him and he is of us nothing more nothing less.  We are what we have been waiting  for hoping and praying . We are our Own leader- white night whatever you want to call it . 

Most just don’t know it yet or can’t see it yet  . We must all fight the good fight for ourselves this is what I believe very strongly everything we need is already within us all we just need to take our power back remembering what and how that feels to be a sovereign Human being responsible for our own choices by the free will we have been given .. This is what I believe very strongly and this is just a small grasp of what I believe I’m meant to understand . 

Be the change you wish to see in the world -Be the leader you wish you had . . 

My Shannon has grown so much and has very special gifts of seeing things in a more  deeper way.  She is very wise and gifted in expressing her self.  I’m learning from her in many ways.  Pray for the inner strength we all need in these trying times- thru our faith in God we can learn the knowledge needed to channel these troubled waters that lie ahead of us all.  I pray for the light and courage I need for myself and my family.  My scripture for today in my Come Follow me is Isaiah 43: 1 ​But now thus saith the ​​Lord​​ that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have ​​​redeemed thee​, I have called ​thee​ by thy name; thou ​art​ mine. From the come follow me lesson this week studying chapters 40-49

Isaiah’s message to to us is simple: “Fear not” (Isaiah 43:1). All is not lost. The Lord has not forgotten you, and He has power over situations that seem out of your control. Isn’t the Lord “he that created the heavens, and … he that spread forth the earth, and … he that giveth breath unto the people upon it”? (Isaiah 42:5). Isn’t He more powerful than Babylon, ( the world ) than sin, than whatever is holding you captive? “Return unto me,” He pleads, “for I have redeemed thee” (Isaiah 44:22). He can heal, restore, strengthen, forgive, and comfort—whatever is needed for you, in your case, to be redeemed.  This is very comforting to me.  

Monday - Beautiful Fall Day

Craig and woke up fairly early 8am- we took the time to walk up the mountain road West Lake.  We walked 45 minutes, it is a good climb- the leaves are are turning colors- Just the past few days staring to see the fun Autumn leaves turning orange and red.  I just love this time of year with the cooler days and nights.  We had a busy Sunday.  I was asked to sub for Mary as the Sacrament chorister.   I had to rush to get ready and barely made it in time-  only a minute to spare.  We were having Bridger’s landscaper come to review our retaining project we have been trying to get done the past five years.  He is bringing his family.  They don’t speak English very well.  I’m had to hurry and make a spaghetti casserole before church which starts at 9am- so that is why I was in a rush to make it to church on time.  We weren’t sure if they would really show up they were coming last Sunday but cancelled.  Bridger said they would be here about 11am-  well they did show up about 10:30 am so I had to hurry home from Sunday school.  Craig would come as soon as church was over.   We visited with the contractor which could speak English, but the wives did not speak e flush Si that was a challenge to communicate I tired to recall what few Spanish word I could-  Hola - hello - Garcia’s - thank you.  I served them dinner and then we put the boat in and took them for a boat ride.  They have never been to Bear lake and their first time to ride in a boat.  It was fun to be a hostess to them and share something new with them -things we take for granted.  We do have a very blessed life here at the lake.  They loved their boat ride.   They are suppose to get back with us on a bid - sure hope this works out.  We have been very frustrated in finding someone to do the job-  I made an apple pie and we shared it with Jacki and Flint after the Mexican family left.  I just pray we can get this project done this fall.  Going to enjoy this beautiful day - I have things I want to do outside working in the yard.  I want to borrow Holman’s tiller and work the soil so I can plant some spring bulbs for next spring- fall is the time to plant them - so I have my work cut out for me.  

5-years

September 17th-2017-Today is Craig’s anniversary for serving five years in the Garden City 1st Ward.  He was set apart as the 2nd counselor serving with Brother Menlove as 1st counselor and Bishop England. 2 2-1/2 years later the Menlove left for a mission to Egypt.  So Craig was called to replace brother Menlove as 1st counselor and Brother Ben Negus was called to serve as the 2nd counselor.  Craig finished the last half serving as the 1st counselor.  He has loved serving in the ward.  The years have gone by quickly.  Today I'm feeling melancholy knowing there awaits a new chapter in our lives.  Not sure what that chapter is going to look like at this point.  The weather has turned cooled and autumn is in the air.  These cooler days the leaves are starting to turn.  I had fun decorating for Fall at our Draper home.  I was going to get my decoration out today at the lake but with the cooler weather and the wind blowing I didn't feel like going from the lower garage in the weather to get my decoration out.  Craig tinkered all day.  Richard Hugh's his friend from Salt lake came up to the lake to take him to Lunch for his belated birthday.  They get together every year for each one's birthday.  They have been friend's since they were young kids.  Richard was our dentist too.  I've been lazy today.  I watched a video about geoengineering and trying to understand more about what is going on in the world we live in now.  I have watched the blue ski's here at the lake with our panoramic view, seeing jet steams of white spray filling the ski's with crisscrosses of these steams all over our beautiful sky and as the day progress it becomes gloomy and hazy with a mist like clouds, not like the normal clouds I've seen in the past.   I seen the jet's fly right over of home and see the these huge 4 streams of white mist being sprayed out across the sky.  I have been asking what on earth ore they spraying?  So today I came across information that is explaining what I have been witnesses.  They explained that there is a world project of spraying the entire earth with these chemicals to lower the UV sun rays of the earth in a process to cool the earth and block the sun rays.  The effects are going to be catastrophic for our entire earth, plant life and animal life, this includes humans too.  The chemical spraying is harmful and scientist are finding seeing the effects of what are happening in plant life that is dying and especially effecting the oceanic life.  It sadden's me what the future holds from the evil people of the world trying to play God for humanity which is causes more harm.  Pray for the direction I need to charter these trying days.   

A Fall Friday

We have had a busy week- Monday I did house chores at the lake and picked some apples at the old orchard across the highway from our place.  I need to get some filters for my juicer to make apple juice -I did cut up a batch and make some apple fruit leather- Tuesday we had to pack up and head to Salt lake by late afternoon.  We had to head to St George to pack up Mom Lavon’s bedroom set and Craig needed to be in town to signed the closing papers for the sell of her home.  Trisha went with us.  She is our good helper.  She is strong to help lift - We left Wednesday morning to drive drown.  We arrive about 4pm and worked hard packing it up in our dumpy trailer we bought down hoping the rain holds off enough for us to get it back to our Draper home.  Trisha is going to help decorate one of the bedrooms with it at our Draper home.  It’s a lot of work moving things around.  We stopped to see Natasha & Bridger’s new home in St George that evening and then got a hotel for the night.  Their new home is really nice.  It is really big.  They are going to have fun decorating it.  They have a full plate right now remodeling their home they bought and working on their other home in St George.  They have three homes right now.  Their lives are full.  We stopped by to see them on our way out of town and back to the lake for the weekend.  I was up late last night getting my fall decorations out at our Draper home.  Having fun decorating for the fall season.  I received some fun autumn decorations from mom Lavon’s collection. It was fun to get it out and find a place to decorate with.  I love the big scarecrow I sat outside in our front porch.  I got the up stairs all decorated for the fall season with what I have collected over the years.  Fall is one of my favorite seasons.  I have a a lot of fall decorations.  I’m excited to get them out and decorate at the lake too.  It has been nice to have the weather cool off this week. The leaves are starting to turn colors.  Craig wanted to get back up to the lake tonight for a Ward Campout -  

Our Sabbath Day / Over Coming Abuse

I woke up early with Craig this morning for his early Bishopric meetings -  I fixed him a nice breakfast and out the door he goes- I’m had two hours before our sacrament meeting -  I took the time to read the Conference talks we would be discussing in our Relief Society lesson today.  I remember both talks at conference time that spoke to my heart.  Before I knew it I had fallen asleep !  I suddenly woke up at 8:35 am and flew out of bed to get dressed in a hurry .  Our sacrament meeting starting at 9am.  I mange to get ready fast and out the door to arrive about 5 minutes late.  Sigh or relief as I sat down and winked at my beloved husband who was conducting our meeting today.   We sang the Hymn 169-for the  sacrament -3. As now we praise thy name with song,

The blessings of this day

Will linger in our thankful hearts,

And silently we pray

For courage to accept thy will,

To listen and obey.

We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full.

We’ll walk thy chosen way.

This verse speaks to my heart today ❤️

Brother and sister Argyle are speaking today - Alma 32 - messages on the power of Faith - Sister Argyle did a great job speaking- she talked about the power of Satan and that he is at his last curtain call so to speak before he will bound from any influences on this earth.  He is working overtime to cause fear and commotions in our lives.  She read several quotes on this subject by our prophets and shared the counsel they are giving to us to follow.  Brother Argyle spoke a great message too.  We are so. Leases ti have them in our ward of three months now.  They have 8 children.  Their  oldest daughter Paige is being set apart for her mission tonight.  Many in the Ward are thinking brother Argyle could be our new Bishop.  I would pick him too if not my Dear husband.  We will know in a month or so, the time is drawing near for a new chapter.  

Relief was very emotional on the two Conference talks discussed in class - both have touched my heart and so grateful to the Savior for the Atonement offered to us all. 

He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: 

We Can Be More Than Conquerors

By Elder Patrick Kearon

Of the Presidency of the Seventy-  I liked this quote from his talk -“  The answer is yes. You can survive. You have in fact already been rescued; you have already been saved—by the One who has suffered the very torment you are suffering and endured the very agony you are enduring. Jesus has overcome the abuses of this world to give you power to not only survive but one day, through Him, to overcome and even conquer—to completely rise above the pain, the misery, the anguish, and see them replaced by peace.” 

You will remember when President Russell M. Nelson issued the following invitation in general conference. He said: “As you study your scriptures … , I encourage you to make a list of all that the Lord has promised He will do for covenant Israel. I think you will be astounded!”

Here are just a few of the powerful and comforting promises our family found. Imagine the Lord speaking these words to you—to you who are surviving—because they are for you:

Fear not.

I know your sorrows, and I have come to deliver you.

I will not leave you.

My name is upon you, and my angels have charge over you.

I will do wonders among you.

Walk with me; learn of me; I will give you rest.

I am in your midst.

You are mine.  I remember taking the time too make my list as I studied.  I love his list which show a caring Savior looking after us.’   This quote give me comfort -  The abuse was not, is not, and never will be your fault, no matter what the abuser or anyone else may have said to the contrary. When you have been a victim of cruelty, incest, or any other perversion, you are not the one who needs to repent; you are not responsible.

You are not less worthy or less valuable or less loved as a human being, or as a daughter or son of God, because of what someone else has done to you.”  Being a victim of incest as a child has caused scares to heal from and in thinking I’m not good enough.   The Savior can take all this pain and hurt away.  I can testify I have felt his healing hands in my life and given me the courage to forward.  The gospel message has been my iron rod to hold on to and lead me down a path of joy in many ways as I began my own family and strived to break the chains of wickedness I have been exposed too in my youth”   I just listened as other sisters  shared their feelings and seeing I’m not alone -we have all had challenges to deal with and it is  not easy to over come - the Savior knows our pain and will direct our lives for gaining peace as I invite him into my life.  “ Please know that the Savior has descended below all things, even what has happened to you. Because of that, He knows exactly what real terror and shame feel like and how it feels to be abandoned and broken. From the depths of His atoning suffering, the Savior imparts hope you thought was lost forever, strength you believed you could never possess, and healing you couldn’t imagine was possible.”  Come to the Savior he will heal us !.. this quote is so powerful -  “ In Gethsemane and on Calvary, Jesus “took upon Himself … all of the anguish and suffering ever experienced by you and me,” and He has overcome it all! With arms outstretched, the Savior offers the gift of healing to you. With courage, patience, and faithful focus on Him, before too long you can come to fully accept this gift. You can let go of your pain and leave it at His feet.” 

I pray for the healing balm of forgiveness in my heart- to let go of all the heart and and give it to the Savior!! I have been dis stressed by my mothers actions over the years in feeling she  did not really love  me and value me - I was a burden to her - when I was a good daughter and did all I could do to honor her and gain her love.  It never seem good enough to her.  I have been mourning since her death and feeling she loved our youngest Adopted brother Tommy more - I was abandon by her actions over the years and her bad choices in men I was a victim to.  She did not protect me.  I had to leave home to protect myself from the abuse and emotional harm.  It was a emotional cycle  for me trying to please her.  She was so up and down with her emotions and dumping them on me.  She could be very cruel with her words and hurtful.  I would have to with draw for a time.  I have to let go of all the hurt.  At times I feel I have and then things resurface and I feel angry at her.  Even with her gone I have had to close this chapter to as a mother and a daughter I feel to much pain and sorrow. I have to let go -forgive her -and know the Savior can heal all wounds in time.  It is a process.  I find myself burying pain.  I just need to let go.  I do have the faith we are an eternal family as crazy mixed up as my own family is it is going to all work out in eternity.   I just roll up my sleeves and go to work.   “ when ye are in the service of your fellowmen ye are in the service of your God.    

My Study Time / Book of Isaiah - sins as scarlet

Isaiah Chapter one - in the past few weeks I have read this chapter several times trying to understand the prophecies and revelations given to this great prophet who lived and served as a prophet in the city of Jerusalem in 740-701BC. He served under 4 kings of Judah.  His Plea to his own people from the Lord -is to repent!  The same plea from our Prophet today President Russell M Nelsen-  get on the covenant path and stay on this path that leads to eternal life.   Our lives here are short and fleeting yet we have Eternal life to look forward too!  Our lives do not end after we have fulfilled our mortal mission on earth.  We will all die yet in Christ shall be made alive again as an immortals being - it is hard to comprehend but I have the faith our lives here on earth do not end.  I woke up at 5:30 am reviewing the come follow me lesson material trying to gain a greater understanding of the messages taught by Isiah-  this section really speaks to my heart-  and I have gained a greater insight of these verses as I turned to a Conference talk given in 2019 by Sister Eubank-  I remember her talk but this part of her message did not stand out until now studying Isaiah 1:16-19

16 Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;

17 Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.

18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

19 If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land:

 I have heard this scripture many times over the years - our sins as red as scarlet , yet through The power of Jesus Christ as we repent our sins can be forgiven and be white -like wool as described in this verse - learning the symbolizing of the words has greater meaning.  Love how sister Eubanks describes it -  Isaiah 1:16–18.To help family members understand these verses, you could read the section “Some of Us Feel We Can Never Be Good Enough” from Sister Sharon Eubank’s message “Christ: The Light That Shines in Darkness” (Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 75). Or you could demonstrate how stains can be removed from clothing. How is the Lord’s message in these verses different from what Satan wants us to believe?  

Talk :- Some of Us Feel We Can Never Be Good Enough

​​The scarlet dye of the Old Testament was not only colorful but also colorfast, meaning that its vivid color stuck to the wool and would not fade no matter how many times it was washed.​​​​ Satan wields this reasoning like a club: white wool stained scarlet can never go back to being white. But Jesus Christ declares, “My ways [are] higher than your ways,”​​​​ and the miracle of His grace is that when we repent of our sins, His scarlet blood returns us to purity. It isn’t logical, but it is nevertheless true.

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“Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”​​​​ The Lord says emphatically: he or she “who has repented of … sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”​​​​ In essence: Come, let us reason together.​​​​ You made mistakes; all come short.​​​​ Come unto me and repent.​​​​ I will remember the sin no more.​​​​ You can be whole again.​​​​ I have a work for you to do.​​​​ ​Christ makes wool white.​

​​But what are the practical steps? What is the key to reconnecting to the power of Jesus Christ when we are flickering? President Russell M. Nelson said it very simply: “The key is to make and keep sacred covenants. … It is not a complicated way.”​​​​ Make Christ the center of your life.​​​​

​​If you feel that the beacon of your testimony is sputtering and darkness is closing in, take courage. Keep your promises to God. Ask your questions. Patiently melt stone to glass. Turn to Jesus Christ, who loves you still.

​​Jesus said, “I am the light [that] shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not.”​​​​ That means no matter how hard it tries, the darkness cannot put out that light. Ever. You can trust that His light will be there for you.  

She described these verses in Isaiah so beautifully and powerful to me.  Our sins make us unclean like scarlet red yet thru The power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ - as we strive to repent, be obedient and strive to stay on the Covenant path - the strait and narrow path- we can be forgiven of our sins - we are made white - line the color of the wool from a sheep 🐑 I love the symbolism -  we can be forgiven and become clean again - it is the miracle of the atonement - which mean at one with God - Satan wants us to believe that once we have sinned we are done we have messed up and can’t return to the Heavenly light of God-  which is not true we can repent during our mortal life - it does take hard work and showing God by our efforts we are striving to repent - it is going forward and turning our actions around and living Gods laws on earth the best we can.  God will forgive our sins - is the message In Isaiah chapter one-  

Craig and I are ending a season in our lives soon as he will be released as 1st counselor serving in the Bishopric in the  Garden city 1st ward -  I know he is going to be sad when the end comes.  It has been five years this month the 18th of September 2017 he was called to serve with Bishop England.  The five years have gone by fast in many ways.  It has been growing years for us in the gospel that we would not have had if we stayed in the Salt lake Valley.  It has been a sacrifice in many ways yet a blessing to our lives as we have strived to serve the members living in the area.   Coming to an end is bitter sweet!  In Craig’s patriarchal blessing it says in his older years he will be able to recall the things he learned from his mission and share with others - many will come to him because of the nearness of the Lord-  I have often thought about this and how this would come about?   I have always felt he would some day serve as a Bishop -  well our season of life is running out.  We are running on a 1/4 of a tank -we jokingly say - we are getting older and not that many more years left of this mortal life to serve.  Many saints in the ward have grown to love Craig and have said he will be our next Bishop-  there are many that see the faithfulness and dedication Craig has give in this calling and to the Lord as he has served the saints.  I feel he would make a wonderful Bishop too!!  I don’t ask for this calling - that means another five years living at Bear lake - there have been many times I have felt I’m done here -ready to move on- it has been hard for me to be away from my girls and grandkids-  I miss being closer to them.  Living at the lake has been a huge adjustment for me -I have missed our life in Draper before we moved here.  Change is hard.  I have cried many tears and have given it my all to support my dear husband in this season of his life and for his growth.  The Lord knows my sacrifices to him.  I have been restless and wanting to serve a mission yet I have felt strongly Craig could be called to serve as the Bishop and that is another five years living at the lake -  I have had a pray in my heart for what is best for him and his growth at this season in our lives - asking Heavenly Father to hear my concerns.  This is our season to serve In this area-  I know Craig feels he is not worthy for such a calling from past sins in his life-  yet from my scripture study this morning I’m re-taught the message God does forgive us.  We do suffer the consequences of our mistakes- but with hard work we can turn around our lives.  I feel Craig does have so much to offer and would support him in this effort if he is called.  I feel he really needs this as part of his progression in this mortal life.  I know he is wanting to fulfill his earthly mission- I have prayed this week in my heart while lying in bed -in the wee morning hours - God - pray that Craig will be considered a candidate in serving as the new Bishop - I feel strongly this is our season!   I feel the spirit saying Yes - yet I don’t dare hope for it and fill the disappointment if the calling is not extended-  the question is what now ? What lies in store for us to serve in the Kingdom of God on the earth ?  We are holding on to those last few days as he serves and knowing change is coming soon.    Pray for the courage to go forward!! 

September Already

The month of September is here.  Sad to say summer is over.  It has been a lovely summer - we have had great weather.  It has been unusually warm for this time of year-  95 degrees for Labor Day weekend.   Trisha and Buck, Boston and the Thomas family all came up for the weekend.  We had fun boating and enjoying the warm weather.  Nice to add an extension to our summer season with the warmer weather.  It has been record high temperatures for this time of  the year. 103 in the Salt Lake valley.  All over the world has been high record temperatures which looks like we are going into some drought years ahead-  a sign of our times-  tonight the full moon is blood red with all the smoke in the air.  We have a lot of fires burning up north and heavy smoke is coming our way.  It has filled the Bear lake Valley- hard to even see the mountains on the other side of the lake.  The smoke is heavy in the air and can feel and almost taste the smoke it is so thick.  It did cool off today drop into the low 70’s which feels so good.  I have had an upset stomach the last couple of days just not feeling the best.  Craig's back is slowly starting to feel better.  I have had to help him in the chores around here to keep him from straining his back.  Monday everyone was all packed up and out the door by late afternoon.  We enjoyed having family here for our last summer weekend.  It was an all time busy weekend at the lake - lots of people came up to get out of the heat and enjoy the lake. I taught gospel doctrine Sunday.  It was a huge crowd and my class met in the chapel.  I had to teach with the microphone.  It was scary for me to have such a crowd for our class time. I had to take a deep breath and go for it.  I had been preparing so just prayer I could retain what I learned and have the spirit in class to teach us- I invited members to contribute their thoughts and we had a great discussion.  The 50 minutes of class went by quickly.  I was nervous at first.  It was a sigh of relief when it was all over.  I had to come home and thank my Heavenly Father for helping me get thru our class time and help me to recall what I had prepared.  I love studying my scriptures.  I learn so much.  We are now studying the book of Isaiah this month so I really want to take the time to study and learn even more-  the Savior commanded us to study the word of Isaiah they speak much about the later days to help us prepare for the second coming,   I had spent the past two weeks studying chapter 1-12 I’m slowly starting to comprehend- praying to the Holy Spirit to teach me.  I do enjoy my scripture study time.  I took the time yesterday to visit my new sisters I was assigned to minister to in July.  August flew by so I wanted to make sure I took the time to see my sister this month.  I’m excited to have some new sisters to minister to.  I have two sister that live in Swan creek - Sister Wise who is in her 80’s and sister Pullun who just moved in a few months ago - it will be nice to get to know her.   I also have sister Cathy Rassmensen 1st counselor in the Relief Society.  My new companion is sister Coonrod -  she lives in her motor home with 6 kids-  I don’t know how she mentally does it.   I enjoyed my time visiting.  Craig and I went out this morning to drive a 2021 wave runner.  I really liked it. It is comfortable riding and something we can both ride on and not fall off. Craig is thinking about selling his wave blasters and buying one of these for next year.  It was fun riding around on the south end of the lake.  We drove over to the east side of the lake to see a new housing development going in.  They are huge new Multi-million lake homes.  The building hasn’t stopped even with the crazy economy.  I enjoyed our ride.  The weather temp dropped 30 degrees today from all our hot days. -Fall is coming now.  I have still felt off today.  My stomach just doesn't feel the best.  I have been slowly clearing out emails in my computer- to open up some storage space on my iCloud internet account.  It takes time to go through and weed out my old saved files.  I have lots of pictures.  I’m behind in my scrapbooking.  Lots to do.  I worked several hours today.  As I went thru them It lead me to some of my family history files that I have slowly been working on.  I spent several hours doing research on my Bailes family tree.  There is always so much to do.  Craig and I have enjoyed watching the US tennis open competition.  It’s the finals tonight- the crowd is going crazy!! Rooting  for the USA.