YSA Sacrament Meeting- YSA Activity Lake Party at President Symes Home

We have brother and Sister Porter - Service Missionary leader and all the service missionaries serving in our Mission district.  These are missionaries that can stay home and still serve a mission they each spoke about serving and depending upon the Lord in our lives as we strive to serve our Heavenly Father- he will will sustain us. Love the Lord God with all our hearts- Charity is the pure love of God- your love for others will increase as we strive to have charity.  Mosiah 2:17 - love thy neighbor as ourselves Moroni 7: :35- 46 -  we serve others to help them come closer to the Savior- pray unto the father with all energy of heart to have charity is a challenge given to us this coming week-  10 different missionaries spoke and several bore their testimonies- we can have true happiness as we strive to live the gosple of Jesus Christ and serve others in learning how to gather Israel- their mission has blessed their lives doing the work on both sides of the veil also serving in the temple weekly-   Brother Porter gave thr closing talk - why are we here today? We are here to partake of the sacrament and renew our baptismal covenants- and many more reasons. We are each on the covenant path- 

August 7th YSA Weekly Activity- Boating and lake party at President Symes home.  We all had a great time.  Thanks to the activity committee for making us a yummy Shrimp dinner eating along side the lake.  It was a lovely evening for us all to enjoy.

                                                                      Kyle Cazier

 

                                                                  Brother Droesbeke

                                                   Lindsey Wahlburg, John Scott and Jazzy

                                                                     Karen Barlow

                                                              Yummy shrimp dinner
  

Sweet Note From Stacy

Thank you so much for letting us stay at your place in Draper and at the cabin in Bear Lake. We enjoyed it! We really appreciate you and all you do.   Chad - Yes thank you guys! Our kids have the best grandparents. Love you both.  Craig - It went by to fast. I wish I had more time to spend with the little ones, but I felt like I needed to help Buck as much as possible.  We love all of you so much. So proud of our California kids.- Debbie - It was our joy to spend time with you and went by all to fast - the kids have all grown so much.  Love their bright smiles😍

Hillbilly Elegy/ Towner family Left

Craig and I have been so tired today.  The Towner family packed up and left this morning about 11:30 am to start their trek back to their home in California.  I already miss them so much- but have to let go- a piece of my heart crying wishing they weren’t so far away.  Our family means everything to me.  My heart has been reflecting and aching since our Trisha was last here over the 4th of July- She left very upset and pulling away from us as parents and her own sisters.  I ask myself where did things go wrong?  I have always wanted a close family- being blessed with 5 beautiful daughters and wanting them each to love and care for one another as a sisterly love and each other’s families.  I have strived to keep our family tree in tact-which seems to be growing more apart as the years go by not close at all.  It breaks my ❤️!  They are all each different and beautiful talented women yet don’t want to spend time with each other.  The three older daughters are cross threaded.  The two younger daughters are growing apart because they don’t make the time for one another to grow in their relationship.  Stacy lives out of town and Natasha is too busy with her business and personal friends.  Stacy feels a void.  She wants to have a close relationship with all her sisters and I know she tries.  I know we are having some growing pains as we all grow older in years.  We do have to make time for one another or we do grow apart- I have felt gathering at the lake has been a time to enjoy one another and gives us some time to mingle with all our busy lives- to take some time out to be with our own family unit.   Well it seems that each family wants their own family time and not gather any more.  I feel Trisha and Sharlena have been pulling away on the Holidays and now summer gatherings leaving me very little options to gather our family tree.  I yearn for the time I could spend some time with all my girls and that has not happend for many years.   We have to keep trying!!  Life  is not prefect I know !  I had struggles with my own mother and have sheltered my 5 daughters from so much- striving to give them a better life-  breaking the cycle of a dysfunctional family.  When now I don’t feel like I have succeeded.  Our family unit is just a silent dysfunction- and separation- they are not willing to invest time with their siblings.  I watched the movie HillBilly Elegy on Netflix’s tonight.  It is a book written by JD Vance who has just been chosen by President Trump for his running Vice President mate in this very heated political campaign this year.  A movie was produced from his book.  I had watched it many years back when in first came out and again tonight.  It has greatly sadden my heart.  He grew up in a very dysfunctional family with a mother that was very narcissistic and a drug addiction.  He made a better life for himself and at age 39 his had been picked to run as a vice president of our entire country.  We can make a difference and choose to make a better life and end the dysfunction in our family units-  the movie was very painful for me 1as I watched it again and could see much of the same abuse I experienced from my own mother.  screaming, yelling swearing and crazy angry- out of her head so many times. She even tried to kill us once when driving us off a bridge that scared me for life.  She had attacked me, hitting me and swearing at me crazy angry and then crying poor me- there always seemed to be a storm with my mother.  I left home at 17 years old to make a better life for myself.  I had to in order to survive.  Yet I kept trying to have a relationship with my mother up until the day she died despite all the many challenges over the years- the pain doesn’t just end when they die either-  this movie set me back reliving tramadic moments in my childhood and lifelong adulthood.  I have shielded my daughters for a better life and gave them a good life and they are taking for granted how special each of our lives are together.   I so enjoyed my mother daughter time with Stacy and Natasha this week -  just wish it could be this way with my older girls- they just don’t like one another or care to nurture their relationship- which breaks my heart.  Trisha is really pulling away right now.  I was heart broken today when I was tidying things up and noticed that all their things in the bathroom had been taken out that they have left here for years.  The drawers were empty-  I started to cry!   Buck was here for three days working on the wall and very grateful for his help yet his body language does not hide the ackwardness.  He kept to himself- not the same loving Buck- Just giving them the space they need, yet not really understanding why they are pulling away so strongly-  it seems to be the Burbidge time schedule- Craig and I bent over to be very accommodating to any time they have asked to come to lake and bring friends- Trisha acted like this was the tipping point for her- over the 4th of July - she is just done with our family unit!  Which greatly saddens me- life could be so much worse and I feel she is taking for granted the family she really has.   It is very painful seeing her act this way and pull away-  Don’t  know what to do other than just give her space.  It is a two way street- she has got to give too in order for the relationships to grow and she is not willing to do so.  I have gone thru crazy stuff with my younger sister but I have always been there to support and love her.  Pray in time she can come to appreciate the sisters she does have and want to come back to us some how.   Family is all we really have in this life- the good and the bad.  Just keep trying to do better ! We do have a bad seed growing in our family tree and need to figure out how to dispel the silent contention among them- pray for direction in knowing how?   I feel like each of my girls need to watch the movie Hillbelly Elegy to appreciate what they really have - it could be far worse !! I’ve lived it !  And Know first hand -this is why I have tried so hard to break the cycle.  

So Sad YSA Killed Today

We just got news this evening that one of our YSA summer girls working at La Bau’s was killed today in a headon car accident.  Abigail Thornly- I just talked to her Sunday as she was going thru the line for a bagel at our linger longer Sunday.  She is a beautiful young lady.  So sadden to hear of her tragic accident.  Each day of our lives is a gift.  We never know when it is our last day.  News Report - MONTPELIER — Idaho State Police are investigating a two-vehicle fatality crash on US Highway 89.

On July 27, 2024, at 08:44 a.m., Idaho State Police troopers responded to a two-vehicle crash on southbound US89 at milepost 24.5, just west of Montpelier. A 20-year-old female from Blackfoot was driving southbound on US89 in a 2017 Chevy Spark. A 35-year-old female from Ovid was driving northbound on US89 in a 2019 GMC Terrain when both vehicles collided. The driver of the Chevy was wearing a seatbelt and died at the scene of the crash.  The driver of the GMC was not wearing a seatbelt and was transported to the local hospital.

Saturday - Towner Family Leaving

The Towner family were able to stay here at the lake with us for a week.  It has gone by fast and always sad when they leave.  I have to say I’m beat.  It was alot of work for both  Stacy and I to keep up with 10 grandkids all week long.  Thursday was enjoyable day.  They had fun playing in that water once thr sunshine was not hidden from clouds half the day.  We took the night off from cooking and went to Cafe Dabor for dinner.  We all enjoyed our dinner out and visit g with one another. I then came back and played cover your assets with the grandkids- by midnight we had to get everyone to bed Craig was in alot of pain and progressed to where he was throwing up nonstop.  We figures out her was having a terrible gallbladder attack.  At 2;30 am in that momeing Chad and Buck gave Craig a priesthood blessing.  I had tried everything  I could do to try to help the pain subside.  He just kept throwing up and couldn’t keep anything down that I usually do to help an attack, from drinking vinager apple cider, lemon juice with olive oil and pain pill- he could t keep anything g down.  After the blessing Craig was able to go to bed and sleep the pain had lifted.  So grateful for the power of a priesthood blessing. Come Friday morning Craig was outside working helping Buck grate the rock wall they have been working on for two days.  They were able to complete the rocking of the new retaining wall.  It has turned out so nice. Glad to have this project completed.  Buck was a worker he pushed to get it done in three days.  Craig was beat.  Natasha, Ani, and Cora left early Friday morning.  They were here two dyas and the girls had fun cousin time with Farrah.   Bridger packed up and left with Winn by early afternoon and Buck and Boston were packed up and left by 2pm- Craig and I were very tired and had to slow down from our late night. I don’t do well on 4 hours of sleep. Chad was able to take the kids out tubing and boating for a few hours. The day flew by.   We had a yummy hamburger dinner and played games.  Craig and i went to bed early we both fell asleep not even hearing them come back from getting shakes.  We slept thr entire night.  Craig didn’t even have to wake a sleeping pill nor I.  Thursday enenung we had a huge thunderstorm thru- shaking the cabin it was so close and strong.  It had fun watching off our deck the lightening show.  At 5am this morning Craig woke me up to put the cover on our boat with another rain storm coming thru.  It has rained all morning long. Forecast for the day is 85% rain.  It feels nice to have it cool off.  We have had very little rain this summer.  We did have a prfect weather this week while the Towner’s were in town.  Lincoln and Landon caught a ride home with the Towner’s, they had a packed car with six kids and all the luggage- saying goodbye and their off bay 11:30 am.  I’m so tired right now I feel like I cane sleep for a week- the rainy day makes me even more sleepy.  Going to take my time cleaning things up and just rest today. 

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Thursday day 4

This morning has been overcast and very windy.  It felt nice watering my garden on the lake side.  The wind blowing inward with the waves crashing in it feels like I’m at the ocean.  I love the salty smell in the air.  It has taken me all morning to tidy things up.  We were all slow starting today. Eating a late burch.  Can’t believe it is already 2:30pm and I’m tired ready to rest for a bit.  Craig went and played pickleball early this morning. I didn’t even here him leave I was sleeping so soundly.  Buck started working g in the wall early again this morning.  When Craig got back from Pickelball he had been out helping Buck rock the wall it has taken them both working hard.  Looks like they are going to get it all rocked today.  Chad picked us up a new tube so they are all getting ready to go tubing. Bridger and Chad are taking them out.  The sun is shining  brightly now that the clouds have lifted this afternoon as the storm has blown through.  It should be good weather the rest of the day.  They are really rowdy and need to go outside the big boys are getting restless.  They are all excited to try out the new tube.  

24th Of July

We have had three full days of Bear lake fun with  10 of our grandkids.  Landon the oldest 16 years old and driving now.  It doesn’t seem possible he is the age I met Criag and now a grandfather of our 20 grandchildren.  Landon arrived Tuesday evening with Aunt Natasha, Annie and Cora Rose-  he caught a ride up not sure if his parents are going to make up.  Ryan has to work this week and didn’t get any holiday time off -he could work from home so they maybe they will come to the lake for a few days. I was hoping they could come so little Ashtyn could have some cousin time playing with Farrah, Ani, and Coco.  They are all at such cute ages right now. And play together so well.  Natasha had to work all day Tuesday but mustered up the energy to drive to the lake Tuesday evening.  She is not feeling well had a cold with body aches- sure hope I don’t come down with the cold bug.  We all went to zips for lunch yesterday on the 24th.  It is a fun place to eat.  I accidently drank from of her soda - and sitting close to her so I for sure have been exposed- have to see if my immune system is strong enough to repel the germs.  We have had a busy schedule and day 4 I’m beat-  very slow to get out of bed this morning.  I have been waking up early each morning to tidy things up before everyone is up for the day- doing my morning routine chores of cleaning the bugs off the porch. The little gnats are so bad right now. They have to blow them off and vacuum every morning water my plants and tidy up the kitchen and gathering all the towels and clothes that are laying around in the it’s taking me a couple hours each morning to go through and get these chores done before anybody’s up this morning. My battery is very low. I’m having a hard time getting myself out of bed.  I’m so tired.  This morning is our Thursday morning Pickleball. We usually play for 2 to 3 hours in the morning and I don’t have the energy to go. Craig must’ve got up and went this morning. I didn’t even hear him get up. I was sleeping soundly.. a recap of our family events- 

Monday, we put the boating in and went boating for the afternoon. It was a warm lovely summer day.  Cooking three meals a day is exhausting keeping up with these kids. They are constantly hungry.  We have fixed a big breakfast the past three mornings Monday was pancakes. Tuesday was bacon and eggs and pancakes again and Wednesday we had crêpes.  No than more than get breakfast over with and things cleaned up and start over about an hour later for the lunch schedule.  Hard to believe they’re hungry again we have growing young teenage boys. 

Landon 16 Lincoln is 14, Boston is 14. Jude is 13,  Win is 12, Yeal is 11, Farrah and Ani 10 years old with Enzo soon to be 8 years old August 11, and our little Cora Rose 4 years.   They are all going up too fast for me.  Wish I could slow our lives all down and embrace them just a little longer.  Monday was our fun boating day we were all really hungry eating a late lunch of yummy turkey sandwiches- and then sweet pork tacos for dinner- the boys started watching a Tv series called Outer Banks and suspenseful teenage murder mystery and looking for a hidden gold treasure.  I actually watched the entire series a few winters back and enjoyed it myself.  funny ti see them all so enthralled definitely appealing to these young teenage boys. They have had fun playing night games the past three nights outside.  They were up late having cousin time together and slow getting out of bed on Tuesday.  They thought about going tubing with the bee singers. They had invited us to go down immigration river it looks like it would be lots of fun.  They were leaving at 10:30 and our crew was still sleeping in bed. I didn’t want to rush out either so we took a pass on that adventure.  Craig put our two wave runners in and the boys had fun driving them and pulling each other weight boarding and water skiing.

Lincoln Jude Landon Boston all ski on one water ski now and little Yael is learning how and Winnstin they both popped up so they practiced most of the afternoon taking turns pulling each other around the lake.  Stacy and I were busy cleaning up in between meals keeping things going- we had toco salad for dinner- trying to do easy summer meals.  Wednesday morning was another big breakfast with yummy crepes.  I spent an hour preparing water balloons for our water, balloon volleyball in the afternoon.  They had fun playing, but it was a little hard for the younger kids to pop the water balloon up and over the net. We went through all our balloons fairly quickly. It was something they had never done before so it was fun to teach them out. I think it’s a really fun summer game.  We all went to Zipz for lunch and enjoyed our lunch time there. It was a very hot day. Being off the lake, I could feel the heat.  we then all went shopping for a couple hours at the blue clothing store. Each of the grandkids were able to pick out a sweatshirt and a T-shirt that they liked.   I bought Ani a belated birthday gift letting her pick out what she would like. Her birthday was July 14. They were in Lake Paul at the time’s birthday is October 11 let her pick out an early birthday gift. They both picked out, darling Bear Lake jogging suits together and Ani  ‘s is purple and Farrah is pink.  Enzo picked out a sweatshirt his birthday August 11th and Winston’s  birthday is August 8th- he picked out a sweatshirt too.  They were all excited to receive their birthday gift early and can wear at the lake together.  We retired after our two hour shopping spray and had to come home and take a nap to recharge for our Hawaiian dinner theme-Stacy made us a yummy meal coconut rice with the steam vegetables and watermelon and I grilled the teriyaki chicken. Karen Barlow, one of my ySA sisters stopped by to visit. She wanted to meet our girls. She hung out here for several hours with us and had dinner with us. In the middle of all the family chaos Buck arrived late Tuesday night to start working on the rock on our retaining wall.  He is tackling the big job rocking the retaining wall that we just had done to  blend with  the other retaining wall that was built with the existing cabin in 2012.  Craig got a bed and they wanted to charge us $6000. So Buck is saving us a lot of money we just had to buy the rock which was about $800.  Craig had to help him and they put in a full day. They work from seven in the morning till eight at night.  Craig was exhausted. It was a long day standing on his feet.  I wasn’t coming until Saturday when they were all going to be gone and stay to get it done but he came up early. They made great progress yesterday and he’s back out there early this morning. I’m sure they’ll finish the task today rocking the wall.    Have to let it sit and then grout it all. That will be a lot of work.  The kids had fun playing in the lake on the way runners again while they worked and Stacy and I were busy  keeping track of them all-  Natasha hanging in there with her, not feeling well. I know she just wanted to go to bed. Bridger arrived early that afternoon.  After dinner, Craig and I gathered up all the family since it was pioneer day to share some stories about his pioneer ancestry that were in the martin handcart company that came across the planes in 1856. From England.   It’s the famous Martin company that suffered so much from an early snowstorm and many died along the planes from their journey out of the 500 and the company they had over 100 die -his ancestors survive the great hardships that they suffered. We then watch the movie 17 miracles- that was all about their trek and the harsh conditions that they had to deal with.  None of our younger grandkids had seen this movie or heard any of these stories so we were grateful for the opportunity to try to share with them. So that they could appreciate some of their pioneer ancestry.  The older boys kept sneaking out their attention span wasn’t very good and it was a little frustrating but it was a start- woukd like to do more in sharing about our ancestry-  I found Lincoln Landon and Boston in the garage sitting in Craig’s Corvette. They love his car.  Today we have called cover, which will be nice to have it a little cooler.  Chad had to leave Monday to fly to California and then fly back and drive back to the lake. He arrived back late last night.  That has been a lot of effort on his part to drive to Bear Lake on Sunday the 3 Hour Drive -the three hour back on Monday to fly to California -work on Tuesday and then fly back to Utah and drive back to the lake- three hour drive on Wednesday.  So hope to enjoy more time with Chad and Bridger today now that they are here.  Chad bought us a new tube.  So today will be our tubing day on the lake-  things are looking really messy around here. I need to take the time to tidy up a little just trying to muster up some energy. I’m so very tired.  This family gathering is a lot of work just trying to enjoy the time I have with them.

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Our YSA Sunday / Coty & Jona

We had a very nice Sabbath day at church this week.  So, energizing to visit with our YSA members.  We didn’t have as many attend this week but still a large crowd- Sister Rasmussen prepared and lovey linger longer treat for us after church-different kinds of bagels and favored cream cheese- it was all displayed so nice in baskets with red checked serving paper with navy blue table cloths- she did a great job and everyone enjoyed eating a smushed bagel and visiting with one another.  I enjoyed greeting them as they came through the line asking their names, those I have not meet yet or don’t remember their names- I needed a repeat.  It has been a challenge to try to learn 120 plus names this summer season all at once but striving to make the effort- it has been a delight to have the new members for the summer months.  I have been praying for our Coty Pate to have a desire to attend church with us this past week, he had not been back to church since January. He has attended some of our weekly activities. We have missed him.   This past week I knelt in pray in behalf of Coty personally praying for him.  Lo and behold he texted me this Sunday during our come follow me lesson time at 5pm asking what time sacrament meeting was- I was so surprised and so grateful that his heart was pricked this week to attend church with us.  I sat at the back of the chapel where he would normal sit waiting for him to arrive.   Sure, enough he came- bringing Misha Bailey with him who also lives out by him off of the Sage Creek intersection.   They have a 45- minute drive into Garden city both living on a ranch.  I indeed felt my pray was answered this week in blessing Coty with a desire to attend church.  I know he enjoyed his time socializing with us and the new members here for the summer.  We have enjoyed the increase in members for the summer season.  Sad news this week that our Jona Negus from our 1st Ward came home from his mission saying he doesn't believe this anymore.  So sad for him.  He is an amazing young man.  We have watched him grow up from 11 years old to a young elder of 18 years old.  He has been the first to bare his testimony on our fast & testimony meetings for over the past 8 years.  He just had his farewell talk in June and only in the Mission Home a few days hen his parents were called to come pick him up. I’m really shocked -Out of all the young men we have met I have felt Jona was the most qualified and would be an amazing missionary-I know he has a testimony!  Satan had gotten a great hold of discouraging him.  He has had a freak out and somehow got to help him get through this.  His parent reached out to Craig to see what he can do to encourage him in the right direction. Praying for him to turn around and go back out on his mission.  I know he would be an amazing missionary.  Praying for our Jona! 

Monday Our Boating Day

Stacy and her family arrived Sunday evening at 5pm.  They thought they would be here about 3pm-  I fixed them all a spaghetti dinner.  Craig and I were hungry and needed to eat before we went to our late church meetings-  we had to leave by 4pm so we missed seeing them all until we arrived home by 8pm.  I saved dinner and it was ready when they arrived.  So excited to see them all a great family reunion- hadn’t seen them since The week after Christmas when they were here for a winter trip. It has been 7 months.  The kids have all grown so much.   Monday the kids all sleepy in until 11am.  They were up late hanging out with cousins.  Don’t know how they got three more bodies in their packed car of seven added three more cousins to catch a ride up with them, Boston, Lincoln and Winn-  they all had a great time Saturday evening going to Lagoon-  Towner family actucally arrived at our Draper home Friday evening 10pm  They meet Shar and Jacob and Thomas grandkids at lagoon for the day Aliong with Boston.  Jude and Boston had a slept over at Shars new home. Stacy and Chad picked up the Thomas brothers and Boston at Shar’s on their way up to the lake.   Jacob is not able to join us at the lake this week he has Youth EFY all week.  Talked to Shannon and they are going to try to come up by Tuesday evening so Landon and Ashtyn can join our fun cousin time.  Little Farrah is the only girl in a bunch of 6 boy cousins to play with.  She is excited for Ani and Coco to arrive.  We had a fun day boating out on the lake three hours for the afternoon after a late breakfast of yummy waffles.  We had fun swimming in the lake.  Jude, Lincoln and Boston all are skiing on one ski now.  Little Yeal and Winn both tried and are almost up for the first time.  We all have them cheers for their effort.  Fun to watch them

Learn new things.  We came in from our baoting ready to eat lunch making turkey sandwiches and took a nap- we were all tried.  On funny before we went boating Craig said he had a game for us all to play called pinch and throw -  we played for 30 minutes -  he got us all

Out in the lake - to their surprised it was pinching and pulling up the green tullies that have grown tall and picking up any rocks they step on the lake bed and toss to our seawall- it made the work fun playing as a game.  They all went to work making their pulled piles fo gullies calling ot asparagus.  Little Enzo enjoyed gathering the tulips and making his big pile.  The water feels so good this year.  So warm with all the warm weather we have had.   It had been alively summer here at the lake with the heat wave in the State of Utah.  Many are coming to. Eat lake to cool off and get out of the heat.  We went back out baoting again after our nap time for an evening ski ride and surfing.  Lincoln and Jude double skied together and they each had a turn surfin.  Craig is discourage he wasn’t able to get up on his water ski- he tried both trips out and just couldn’t pull himself out.  He was hoping g to water ski until he is 70 years old,  he turned 69 in August.  He had gained extra weight this past year and makes it much harder to get up I know that feeling. I have not been able to get up either with my extra weight gain and losing strength in my hands.  I was able to get up last using gripper gloves-  I was going to try but we don’t have any in the boat, need to find our gripper gloves for me to try water skiing this year.  I Craig is not happy with himself- not fun getting older we trying to do what we can. I know it’s harder for me to climb in and out of the boat. My strength is fading to lift my own body weight.  Chad had leave by 5:30 pm to catch at fight back to a California for a business meeting, he took our Lexi’s to get to the airport and will beck back to the lake by Wednesday. It s a lot of extra driving time for him with the three hour drive back and forth one way.  We ended our day with a late dinner sweet pork tacos, cleaning up, cooking s’mores around thr campfire and the cousins planning night games.  We had a full day.  I crawled in bed at 11pm and I was out for the night in five minutes.  I woke up at 3am to get a drink and make a light check.  I woke up wee morning hours the night before and all the lights were still on.  The light is bad to leave on attacks all the nat bugs- they are really bad this time of year.  I have to sweep and vaccum up the bugs every morning if we have too many light on at night it is even more a mess to clean up.  We had a fun filled day!  

Quite before the chaos

We’ve had a quiet and relaxing Saturday today.  Stacy and her little family is arriving tomorrow early afternoon so enjoy our quiet time while we have it.  We will have a full house by 24 July Tasha and her family are arriving on Tuesday to enjoy these two younger daughters and their families this week so excited for them all to arrive. I tried to get what we needed to be done so I can just play all next week, I worked hard cutting out the suckers in the raspberry patch yesterday and I hurt my arm and got a bad blister on my finger, hoping to get a bunker crop of raspberries this year. I’ve been reading at my journals 2014 and 14 reviewing those family challenging years. How did I survive? The years took by and Life is indeed busy I think the Lord for all my many blessings and that he gives me the strength as a grandmother and a mother to try to do the right things

Assassination attempt of President Trump

This has been very challenging political year lots of contention between the Democratic and the Republican political parties are constitution of the United States is literally hanging by a thread. There are evil forces working day and night to destroy our United States freedoms. There are many that are seeing the destruction that is taking place in our country and are speaking out.   The Democratic Party and the deep state have done everything they can to try to take President Trump down.  This has been a roller coaster year of events for him, his family and our country.  Saturday at a rally there was an attempt to shoot and kill him.  We know that it was the hand of God that his life was preserved. The bullet grazed his ear and just barely miss, shooting him in the head and he would’ve been instantly killed on live Tv.  I was so moved Sunday, listening to serval podcast a prominent man in the world speaking out and each time before they spoke they were asked to say a prayer for President Trump and our country. They were all different of life, and I was so touched by prayer that they said and invoking our father to protect us and and guide us to thank him for the provident protection of President Trump..  we are witnessing a very turbulent political time in history.

SALT LAKE CITY — Utah leaders were quick to react Saturday after a shooting at a rally for former President Donald Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania.

Chaos in the crowd ensued, while Trump was pictured with blood on his face being walked from the stage by his security detail. Trump's campaign said in a statement that the former president was "fine" after a shooting at his rally, according to the Associated Press. A local prosecutor says the suspected gunman and at least one attendee are dead.

Sen. Mitt Romney said on X, formerly Twitter, that he was "relieved the former President is safe and doing well. Outrageous and tragic that anyone would make such a heinous and evil act. Grateful for the quick response from Secret Service agents. This is a deeply sad day for America."

Sen. Mike Lee wrote on X, "Someone just tried to kill President Trump. Pray for him. And for swift justice."

Back To Lake/ Refecting / YSA July 17th Weekly Activity

Monday was a quick trip down for Layton funeral.  We picked up our rock for the retaining wall, went to Costco grocery shopping and on the road back to the lake.  I wanted to stay a night and go to the Draper temple Tuesday morning but it was so hot in the salt

Lake valley we just wanted to head back up to the lake where it is much cooler.  Tuesday I had to take a day off.  I was having so pain in the middle of my back and just feeling emotionally drained.  I took time to rest read my journal 2014 and look at picture books I made that year reflecting about our lives and how did I manage to get thru all the heart ache that year with our girls and my mother- was a very challenging year.  Life keeps marching on.  I feel we have come a long ways since that family blow up and emotions have leveled out.  I’m so proud of my Natasha and how she said she is done with the family drama and is not going to feed into it.  She loves and respects her parents very much and it shows by her actions towards us. I know that each of my girls are so unique and different in many ways that they make such wonderful contributions with her many talents and likes to our family unit.  It’s allowing each of my girls to have wings to fly and creating their own lies and they have done a great job.  Life is not easy and we each have our challenges.   I was saddened to see that Trisha has been harboring negative feelings about our family and saying she is just done.  We can’t give up we have to keep trying or we will grow apart.  I have tried really hard to treat a close bond family and it is challenging. I love all of our grandchildren and my beautiful daughters and their husbands so very much and just want us all to learn to get along.  Things can be a whole lot worse and I say overall we’ve done pretty good.  Just keep the course of striving to build our eternal relationships.  I have enjoyed reading my journal and reflecting about the challenges we have over comed and will continue.  Life was not meant

To be easy- it is a time to learn to forgive one another and strive to build unity.  We are striving to be a Zion people and the best place to work at it is in our own family circle.  

July 17th- Our Weekly YSA Activity-We meet at the Church parking lot at 7pm. We were fewer in numbers again this week. Alot are still working for the summer hours. Thank you brother and sister Daun for a yummy sack lunch. We rode the bus provided by brother Smoot to the Limber Pine Trailhead. The bus ride was a fun highlight- very bumpy with the shocks not working very well. We were bouncing up and down on our ride up the canyon. We all enjoyed our 1.5 mile hike in the most beautiful sceenry. Here are a few fun pictures we took of our fun activity this week.

Bradon Snow

President and Sister Symes

Maggie Thornock

Boys will be Boys climbing the one of the oldest trees on our hike

Karen Barlow

Brother Smoot, Kalisha and Karissa Parker, Lydia

Karisha Parker

President Symes -All aboard

Group Picture

Braydon Gifford

Monday- Jay Layton’s Funeral

Craig and I woke up early and drove down from the Lake early this morning to attend the funeral service of Jay Layton who lived to be 99 years old.  It was a lovely funeral and a honorable tribute to the life his lived

Branch Conference

This is our 1st Branch Conference for the YSA Bear Lake branch this year.  We enjoyed gathering as a branch and in sustaining our Branch leaders serving in their various callings.  Kyle Cazier serving as Elder's quorum’s president, his counselors serving, 1st counselor John Scott, 2nd counselor Dillian Negus.  Corey Stock serving as executive secretary/ ward clerk - Relief Society President Kymbree Fairbourne, Makayla Tingey 1st counselor and Ellie Puzzey 2nd counselor. Sunday School President Logan Muirbrook, Paige Argyle -Sunday school teacher.  We had a very nice linger longer afterward enjoying a yummy treat.

Valiant In The Testimony of Jesus

The Testimony of Jesus By Elder D. Todd ChristoffersonOf the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “ My invitation is to act now to secure your place as one who is valiant in the testimony of Jesus.” 

This is our study conference talk for our YSA Branch today for Elder’s quorum and Relief Socity as we break into our Sunday discussion groups.  We were asked to read and study ahead of time to have a more involved disscussuon.  I have take. The time to read and listen to this powerful conference talk one of my favorite talks I remember from our April 2024 general conference.  Am I being valiant in my Testimony of Jesus Christ ? In reviewing this talk  I flet I can do more in my own family to be more open about my Testimony of Jesus - this stood out to me from his message quote - “ Being valiant also suggests being open and public about one’s witness. In baptism, we confirm our willingness “to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death-  I feel I need to be more open in asking my girls and grandchildren how they feel about Jesus  Christ and what they can do to be more valiant in their action- I need to make a more daily focus of how I can be valuent in my Testimony daily of Jesus-  I know I have strived my entire life to this point to be Valuint- I love my savior with all my heart ❤️- I can to do better- this is all that really matters in life is to love Jesus wholeheartedly and conduct my daily actions in according to that love Asking myself daily how can I  be valiant in my testimony and actions for Jesus today?  What does it mean to be valiant in the testimony of Jesus?  Quote from his talk -“There are several possibilities that could be considered in answering this question. I will mention a few. Being valiant in the testimony of Jesus surely includes nurturing and strengthening that testimony. True disciples do not ignore the seemingly small things that sustain and strengthen their testimony of Jesus, such as prayer, study of the scriptures, Sabbath observance, partaking of the sacrament, repentance, ministering, and worship in the house of the Lord. President Nelson reminds us that “with frightening speed, a testimony that is not nourished daily ‘by the good word of God’ [Moroni 6:4] can crumble. Thus, … we need daily experiences worshipping the Lord and studying His gospel.” Then he added: “I plead with you to let God prevail in your life. Give Him a fair share of your time. As you do, notice what happens to your positive spiritual momentum.”

47 Years Coming to Bear Lake

Craig and I have been coming to Bear lake for 47 years.  We got married and had our Honeymoon at Bear lake.  It was the beginning of creating many family memories.  We have Celebtated just about every wedding anniversary at the lake- except for a few year when we went to Lake Powell it was fun us.  Craig has wanted to be at the lake every week end in the summer months.  It has been our family tradition to  come to the lake on the 4th of July and other holidays.  It has been challenging balancing our time with extended family members.  But we keep trying and look for solutions.  Scott & Jan never planned with us food -it contentious when Jan dominated in the kitchen pushing me out of the way she was charge - yet mad if I was not around to have meals on her schedule.  I promised myself when my girls families grew and multiplied there would be no Contention over meal time - who is doing what?  I have felt we have done really good with the growing pains of our family unit.  Buying the cabin in 1999 for our family was still challenging for 10 years.  Scott and his family kept coming up to the lake in the summer yet there was no communication on who was coming, or food.  I always bought extra and invited whoever was there to join us.  I tired really hard to make everyone feel welcomed even though we own the cabin and paid all the bills and work that needed to be done.  I really don’t know how we manage for that time period when I reflect back.  I just took one summer at a time making family the piorority and trying to keep the peace in a tense situation.  We started having contention in our own family unit over bedrooms when the older girls got married.  Who ever arrived first got first pick.  There were not enough bedrooms as each of our five daughters married.   Yet alone adding Scott and his family into the family gatherings.  There would be times we would arrive and no room for us.  They had a key and just acted like it was still their place to come and go as they pleased.  For years before we bought the place they were not coming much. We bought it and cleaned it up and made updated improvements with a new kitchen, carpet, some furniture, new decking and a hot tub. I felt like the little red hen story where we were doing all the work and paying for it too and they then all started wanting to come up.  This was Craig’s family cabin growing up and we wanted to be sensitive to them sharing in the cabin as a family.  We even told Merlin he could keep his bedroom which only lasted two years when he pasted away at 69 years old by 2001-  we had legally own the cabin only two summers before his passing.  We did have a big family blow up the summer of 2000- with Scott’s family.  We had planned a family reunion with them all and I Dint know how we all fit in the place.  Scott and Jan’s 5 children all had boyfriends and sleeping together.  Which was awkward for us. That family reunion, Craig had to say no unmarried sleeping in the same room.  We had Shannon and Ryan Married in 1998 and Shar & Dave in 1999- Trisha and Buck married in Feb. Of 2001 when Fad died just a week after their wedding.  The older kids in Scott’s family dominated- our famiky reunion in 2000 didn’t go well with our family discussions. Merlin had to tell Scott - this was Craig’s place now-  he bought thr cabin in a legal real estate contract at market value.  They were guest now.  Scott had a chance to invest in the cabin as a family partner but declined he did did not want to beat the money just wait to inherit the cabin.  Merlin needed the money to get into his own home when he was devoriced from Louise in 1998- he could not live at the cabin year round the way it was built.  It had no heat only a Coleman stove.  We were very accommodating to Merlin and sensitive to his feelings as the past owner and creator of the family cabin since the 1960’s as Craig’s family grew coming up to the lake every weekend with Craig growing up.  She parents had a family business as they were the first liscend coast guards in Utah to drive the showboat on Bear lake taking visitors on boat tour rides in the lake.  Craig and Scott lived coming g to the lake and continued coming almost every weekend as were married.  our first three children were conceived at the summer cabin-  it was 20 years of us trying to balance the family dynamics with Merlin and Louise, Scot and Jan, extended step siblings- Louise had five-Craigs sister Shelly and Chris would come up occasionally-  Criag and Scott it was almost every weekend in those 20 years.  They fun and challenging years with the extended family.   When it came to the proposed buy out from Merlin- all the siblings had a choice to buy into the Cabin.  We would have worked it like a time share having certain weeks for ea each family.  Craig’s sister didn’t want to invest not Scott so we had to fork out all the money to keep the cabin in the family.   There just was not enough room for everyone.  Things went fairly well with Louse coming to the lake and always cooking a nice Sunday meal for us-  we so appreciated and have found memories in those family gathering and some not so fond when Jan would nick-pick me on what food I brought and what food was not ours-  she made it very contentious at times.   Louse quit coming and then it was a free for all with Scott’s family- we stated going to Lake Powell with friends not and going to the lake as much only a few times during the summer months from 1985 was our first time to lake Lake Powell as a family -the summer just after Shannon’s terrible winter accident at lake- where we almost lost her.  We did the lake Powell thing from 1985 camping on our boat until 1999 when we bought a house boat share.  I was on cloud nine that year -so excited for our new houseboat share.  It had been 13 years camping out when we went,  we loved our houseboat and had a share the middle of September every year for the family to gather- we could occasionally get another week when it came up- we had Paradise Princess for form 1999- 2005 when we sold out our share- it was a really fun time for our family going to lake Powell in the fall an extension for our summer when the weather cooled off at the lake.  I was always frazzled from our back and forth going to bear lake all summer long.  But gutted it up for one more summer outing with the family- by fall I was done and wore out-  Stacy was married in 2007 - Natasha was married in 2009- our family was growing and we had we had 10 grandchildren.by the end of the year 2009-  birth order Michael Jan 1998, Alec May 2001, Cole Oct 2001, Saydee January 2002, Jaxon Sept 2002, Aubrey January 2003, Karlee May 2005, Austin August 2005,Landon Feb 2008 and baby Lincoln Dec 2009  -  Stacy married in 2007 and Natasha married in 2009 they were both gone in the summer months for summer sells- so we only had the older girls coming to the lake in the summer months- it was manageable some contention over bedrooms- finally Scott’s family bought a lot and build a new place for their family in 2010-  we managed the drama with their family coming to the lake  from 1999 till 2010 as owners of the cabin- we got thru it but so glad for them to have their own place- which released alot of stress for us. I really don’t know how we managed it in that 11 year span- but I tried really hard to keep the family relationship going and accommodating to their family unit which was very challenging when there was very little communication and always felt like a storm hit us when their family members arrived.  It wasn’t just their family, but multiple friends and boyfriends or girlfriends- they would park everywhere on the grassy lot and over run our family-  some how we managed to get trough the summer months-  I could see the growth in our family and planned to build a new place if we wanted to keep things going.  I had hit my limit of fatigue and wore out and dealing with contention even in our own family there was not enough room in the old place.  When Stacy and Natasha started coming. It was even more challenging.   I finally talked Craig into building us a new place. We signed the contract the summer of 2011 and tore the old place down and started construction on our new home the fall of 2011.   We officially started moving in July 2012 loving our new lake home- rebuild it as big as we could with the lot size that we have we didn’t want to eat up all of our lawn area so we tried to keep it on the 50 x100 foot blueprint that we had to work with.  Moving in our first weekend was a little contentious over who got what bedroom- I let Trisha and Buck have first choice since they had been so helpful in helping us tear down the old cabin and working so hard.  We really appreciated their help and it was a bonding time for us as well working together.  They originally chose the bedroom down in the basement, but when we started moving in and they decided they like the upper bedroom overlooking the lake..  which totally threw me off because Tasha wanted that room she got booted out into the smaller bedroom.  I wanted each family to have their own bedroom so they can have a place to leave stuff for the summer months. I wish I could’ve got more bathrooms for each bedroom, but only able to fit three.  So Natasha and Stacy ended up with the smaller bedroom a queen bed instead of a king bed.  

It worked out better to put Shannon in the basement bedroom because the stairs were hard for her with her health issues  and Stacy and Chad usually weren’t here in the summer months for summer sales.  They would leave for the entire summer season and Natasha and Bridger did it for several years too the first few years of their marriage. So I would just have the three older girls and their families to Balance. We were loving our new home.  Our family continue growing over the years from 2009 till the birth of our last grandchild little Cora Rose, a total of 20 grandchildren. By  2010- we had three grandson born  Lincoln Dec 2009, Shar’s  baby Jacob born April  and Trisha Boston born March- - Stacy had her first child in April 2011, 

Then added was Stacy second son Yeal Jan 2013- Natasha 2nd son Winniston August 2012.  The older three daughters Shar, Shannon and Trisha were done having children we thought- little Anni - Natasha’s was born July 2014 and Stacy’s first little girl Farrah born Oct 2014 so fun to have two new baby girls in the family-  it had been since 2005 nine years since our last granddaughter Karlee J was born-  nice to have two Girl cousins close in age- 2016 we added a surprise for Shannon - she had the four boys- lady Landon born in Feb 2008 and a baby girl little Ashtyn born June 2016-  Stacy had little Enzo August 2016- ending our last birth of little Cora rose December 31st 2019 - She is 4 years old now. The years go by all to fast for me.  Just wish I could slow things down.  We now have the oldest grandson Michael 25 years old- the summer of 2014 was really hard for Craig and I emotional.  We had built this lovey lake home and felt our family had been split in pieces over a very unfortunate situation with two of our grandkids little Lincoln and Landon inappropriately touching one another at age 3 and four years old- the families, all over reacted  taking size to protect their children, which we totally understood.  We were told by our daughters there would be no family gatherings with us all together.  Why did we have our lake home and our big beautiful home in Draper? We always look forward to the family holidays and family birthdays, and family dinners-  that I love a house full of our family, and everything seem to shatter before my very eyes. I felt like I had no purpose as a mother or grandmother with my family ripped apart.  It has taken many years for family members to want to gather.  I have felt like I’ve been walking on eggshells trying to balance the multiple personalities with my daughters and son-in-law to respect their wishes.  When all we wanted is to be able to have our family gather and enjoy one another’s company.   I allowed my older daughter, Sharlena and Trisha to take the lead and move at their pace as far as gathering at the lake-  I was heart sick over it for many years.  I keep telling myself it’s growing pains as a family and I need to let go.  We got to where we would do things more on individual family basis, which was not my choice, but I honored their wishes I gave up the family birthday party gathering once a month ad an extended family. I had strived for many years and any Sunday dinners and even getting together at the lake was stressful. Craig and I both felt like why do we even have this big house in Draper when we can’t share it with our family it means nothing to us. The joy has been taken right out of our efforts- I felt like my entertaining days were over way too early for me when it came to our family unit.  Trisha hosted our family Christmas party for two years in a row which we did have a lovely time and slowly the family started coming back together.  Craig  retired from working in 2015 and we had Natasha and Bridger living with us that year helping them and their three little kids. Well Natasha started an online clothing and Bridger working on completing his degree at BYU.  This kept us busy and helped greatly in healing our hearts having them in our home.   The Chaidhry family moved into their new home the fall of 2015 and stayed with us for a few months and then Natasha moved in and stayed almost an entire year.  They moved into their new home in Pepperwood the fall of 2016.   Craig wanted to sell our home and downsize he wanted to spend his time at the lake and we were tired of driving back-and-forth trying to keep up with it all so we sold our beloved Draper home in November 2016 and moved to Bear Lake- as our primary resident.  This has been very challenging for me because I have felt so far away from my daughters and my grandchildren, especially on the holidays adding the 3 hour drive to the Salt Lake Valley.  So from Christmas 2016  2017- we hosted at Natasha’s new home and 2018 at Trisha’s new home in Bluffdale- I had not hosted a family Christmas party since 2013- it had been 5 years- cut way short for me but letting my daughters take the lead- By 2019 we bought our town house in Draper and I was so excited to host Thanksgiving and Christmas that year and I went to a lot of work decorating-  the sad thing is the Burbidge family was missing- they would not honor our agreement to gather every of year for Thanksgiving they were going with the Burbidge family clan since 2016 to California- they were missed-Christmas Day was the only time I could get them all together- and that came to an end when Stacy moved to California in 2016- they came up and spent Christmas Eve  with us 2017, 2919 at our new Draper home-  it had gotten to hard for them to come with the kids getting older so they come after Christmas for a week and even then it is really hard to get them all together anymore.  We did have a really fun family party at the lake on my 60tth birthday in 2017- last year 2023 we gathered only the three families to bring in the new year-  that could be here with us was the Noriegas, Thomas and Towner family-  we are lucky to get them all together in the summer months too - our last big summer gathering was July 2021 when my mother was in town-  I have to say it is crazy when they are all here.  But I love the engery it brings gathering as extended family- it only last a short time and then their all gone and Im sad when they leave. So with my reflection about our family growth it makes me really sad to see Trisha pull away even more.  Her saying she can’t do this anymore saddens me-  I just keep trying to do what I can.  She says I don’t plan and organize things- well she forgets the separation she has done on her own by taking charge of meals and her hosting her family here at the lake many times the past 8 years since we moved here full time.  I have allowed her all the freedom she has wanted and been very accommodating to the girls growing up and allowing them to bring their friends anytime.  Craig and I have changed our plans many times to accommodate when they call to come to the lake.  She forgets this out home- it is not just a summer home vacation spot for the family.   I work really hard to maintain and keep things clean as they come and go.  We pay for everything and have never asked for any of the girls to pay for anything- Trisha and Buck have been helpful in contributing supplies like toilet paper, misc house needs- For her to speak to me this way -I give up !!  is very hurtful on her part.  Christmas time was not handled well either, when they came up to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day 2023- put us in a very awkward situation making us having to choose between gathering with other family members. She forgets that this is our home and I guess she doesn’t like it and feels somewhat entitled to our lake home as I have allowed her to take charge in many ways.  It is not my lack of planning- it greatly saddens me by her behavior.  I know we are having growing pains as a family, but it is not OK to exclude one another from coming up to lake -  when it doesn’t fit their agenda-  they were more than accommodating to Bucks  brother, Brett, and Amy of a family crowd of 12 for four days hanging out on the  lawn all day long and coming in and out of the house we didn’t expect it as long as it was but we adjusted.  As soon as they left , she shuts down. She got mad at Landon having friends and and blaming me that I don’t communicate or plan things as a family - which is unfairly assumed on her standards and expectation.  They probably won’t be back up the rest of the summer, which makes me really sad. I have to fight back the tears. And just look forward to the family that is coming this summer.  Sharon and Dave this weekend enjoying them. with a short few days, I’ll be here. I worked really hard for three days cleaning nonstop from early morning till late at night exhausted myself, putting things back in order-  Trisha should know how much work it is to clean and keep this place up when she does all the cleaning for Tasha’s home in Ivan.  I look forward to Stacy’s family arriving on the 21st of this month and staying for an entire week. I know Tasha wants to come up for a few days and we’re going to try to get Shannon with little Ashtyn up here so that she can mingle with her cousins Ani and Farrah- Ash will love it.  Shar won’t be here maybe a couple days with Austin Jacob has EFY that entire week plus she’s stressed with moving into her new place. And unpacking- I totally understand.  Trisha just chooses not to be here. So I have to honor her decision even though it saddens me.  Just need to give her some space again and let her work things out.  All I can say is I love all my girls and my grandchildren dearly and this is what I live my life for. Just keep trying to build our family unity

It’s Friday

We drove down to The Slay lake valley on Monday afternoon to pick up our big Trailer that the Noriega family used to move into their new home last week.  They needed us to pick it up now that they are done moving things in.  There is not much long turn parking at their new home.  They moved into a town house.  It has turned out so nice- now it is the unpacking and figuring out where to put things.  Their basement is full of their belongings-  Lincoln, Winn, and Landon stayed and an extra day and road down with us.   After we picked up our trailer Craig dropped it off at Flint property in Salt lake to leave for the summer.  We need the parking space right now.  We live our new driveway and steps coming down the lower driveway.  It is so nice to have it completed.  We just need to rock the retaining wall to match the existing one and blacktop the lower driveway and out to the road.  Craig still wants to pour a cement acces to the lake- but having to wait until the lake water drops.  It is up high this year.  Which is really fun to have it up tour seawall .  We dropped the boys off.  Shannon met us at our Draper home to pick up Landon and let Ashtyn swim in our community pool.   It was nice to visit with her.  We didn’t stay long at our Draper home- one night- and out the door by noon to head back up.  We stopped off in Evanston to pick a few groceries.  Now the clean up from our big 4tb of July week- we had family from Sunday June 31st to July 8th- a full week- Trisha is good at cleaning up after their family.  I can’t cleaning until the rest leave and get their things out of the house.  I have worked hard all day Wednesday and Thursday cleaning things up.  Bed sheets to wash and put back on the beds. Dust and wash windows from all the little hand prints which I do love.  I love having thr younger Grankids here and their sweet smiles and love for Grammy.  I have woke up early both days and worked till 10pm-  working on the kitchen today-  it is a mess. I got out my wheat grinder and bosh to make chocolate chip cookies on Wednesday for our YSA activity.  I haven’t had it out for several years.  I enjoyed making them- yielding 45 cookies-  I have left the kitchen while I worked in thr basement and upper guest area of the house.  Today I need to clean my kitchen and main level and vaccum the up stairs the basement is done.  I gave it a good cleaning-  I want to wash some window today too if I can get to them.  I just have to pace myself.  There is alway lots to do to clean and keep up with the next family shift coming in.  The Noriega family are arrive tonight for the weekend.  Symes Hotel- getting it all clean for the next shift- 

YSA Service Activity

YSA: Activity tonight at 7pm will start at Mark Smoot's home for dinner 70W 150S garden city so come hungry!  Then we will split off and do various service for those that are in need! Always a fulfilling time to give of our time to others in need!  We were few in numbers this week attending-  only 12 YSA members came this week. Thank you Brother and Sister Dahl for providing a yummy dinner. the Tacos were yummy with all the toppings- Sister Smoot made yummy sugar cookie bars and Sister Symes yummy chocolate chip cookies.  We enjoyed visiting during dinner them off to serve a family in Paris Idaho who are elderly and needed help moving. Thanks for everyone that help to serve.  

New Family Motto

After this upset from Trisha taking me off guard. I have been reflecting what I can do better to help the situation and how to go forward as a family.  We are having growing pains and entering a new stage as my older daughters have older children and different needs than the younger grandchildren-  I got out my journals to review how we have grown and over struggles - 2014 was a hard year emotionally as my daughter pulled apart from one another.  We were told to separate families and to just do one on one things with each family.  It has take many years to come back together- As I was in an emotional state I had come across a quote I shared in my journal about families in 2014 - which gave me direction and comfort at the time - and a feel this is a great reminder for our family. “ Healing your extended family relationship doesn’t mean you have to hangout with these people and spend a lot of time with them. The bottom line is you may not have a lot in common or enjoy the same interests.  Healing means feeling clear of any negative emotions toward them. Be able to feel a sustaining peace that keeps you free from any expectations of them - knowing about their lives and loving them regardless, and allowing them free of any judgment, what they are choosing to create.   Such great advice - and a great reminder - 

Trisha Upset

Friday evening we played Pickelball they were turning on the new lights. at the courts to see how they work with a generator.  I hurried home to see if any of the family wanted to come play.  I walked into Trisha’s room to invite her and could see she was upset.  When I pressed her to share she stated to cry-she said several times in our conversation I’m just done.  I tired to get her to tell me what she was upset about.  We visited for over an hour.  I’m still not sure what she meant with she is just done?  We don’t give up on our family relationships that easy.  I knew she had worked hard cooking three meals a day and cleaning up afterwards.  She is a great cook and does so well taking charge. In our conversation she ask -why do we have to all come on the holidays ? and why can’t we have a family reunion at another time of the month besides on a holiday.  This week was not a planned family reunion just whoever can come.  Sharlena was moving in her new home and I knew they would not be coming up.  Stacy In California and coming later in the month.  I told her we would not be having a family reunion this year.  We actually haven’t had one since 2021 when my mother was last here that we tried to gather everyone that could come to the lake. She siad our family time at the lake is not fun anymore and we are all disconnected.  She was not happy that Shannon would not communicate about food for meals.  I had told her not to worry about their family.  I did tell her on Monday Landon was having a couple of friends up.  They were staying in the bonus room- apparently they were too loud on Wednesday night. Buck asked them to be quiet after midnight.  I totally agreed.  Buck had asked if it was ok if his brother Brett and Amy could hang out on the lawn for a few days with the lake high there is not much lake access to beach area.  We have the perfect setup and right on the lake.  I was fine with them hanging out we always enjoy the extended Burbidge family.  It was a little awkward at first getting to know them all.  I have not seen their kids for years they have all grown into adults.  Preston their oldest married and now has a baby boy  he was only a month old.  When they arrived I had to hold him. We don’t get to see a little newborn very often- that first month is so special they grow all to fast.  We were fine with the Burbidge family of 12 extra people hanging out. They were no problem for Craig and I- Trisha was doing all the work to cook and entertain.  I know she likes to host by cooking yummy meals for us.  I think she had over worked herself.  I know I can’t cook three meals a day and do all the clean up and not be beat.  She was bugged that the Chaudhry family had not planned meals with us.  I had told her not to worry about them, not sure if they were even coming and if they do they will bring their own food.  I know she got upset with Landon’s friends in the bonus room because their family didn’t have access to the TV to watch a movie at night- Friday night they were getting ready to go to the dance palace where all the teen go and 4 young men spraying their cologne set her off- she does not like the smell and is very sinsitive to the smell.  She doesn’t like it when I were my prefume  around her or just spraying bathroom deodorantized sprays.  Apparently she could here them swearing- the bonus room was a mess. And felt they were being very disrespectful.  I didn’t see the messy room but can only image it was messy.  I was staying out of everyone spaces so I didn’t over work myself picking up after everyone and being frustrated with the family messes,  I have learned I have to let go while family is here - things always clean up when they all leave.  I told her she needs to lower her expectations about Shannon and meal time.  Just make the best of the situation.  We have plenty of food- it is not the -lack of it.  I had went shopping and bought lots of food too in case we have extra family show up.  I always keep extra food on hand.  The dynamic of Landon’s friend were awarkward -we don’t know them and having them in our home for three days.  Trisha just had a melt down and all the cabin things she doesn’t like she let out.  She says I don’t ever plan.  I do plan just maybe not her strandard.  I have purposely back off to let her do her thing.  I get out of the way but do help when ever I can step in.  She is pushing for us to have one planned family reunion when all the family can come and then separate summer family visits.  She forgets we have been doing this since the huge family blow up in 2014.  It has taken many years to heal and I let the family was slowly coming together the past few years.  Shannon and Ryan have only just started coming up the past three summers since little Ashtyn loves it here and pushes to come.  They stay in the basment area and do keep to themselves most of the time.  I take what I can get from them and glad they have come.  They had not been back up since last summer on the 4th of July and I thought we all had a great time.  I worked hard cleaning and getting ready for them all to arrive so it is not fair Trisha says I don’t plan.  She is way off in her thought process.  I don’t plan to what her expectation must be.  She has never expressed that it bothered her. For sure a lack of communication on her part too. She just feels disconnected from me and wants more communication.  I need to call her more and check up on her more.  I just told her she 

has worked hard in the kitchen and to take a break.  The family kicked in and cleaned the kitchen that evening-  we sent Landon’s friends home Saturday morning.  Natasha’s and her family arrived Friday evening and we needed the space-  family comes first- they arrived Wednesday evening they had three days it was long enough.  When Landon asked if he could invite some friends up I hesitated but Landon had never ask or had friends before and I felt it was ok.  Not thinking it would bug the Burbidge family when they have had friends here many times and we have been more than accommodating.  So from this situations we have decided when the family is here, other extended family combining, we will not allow friends because it seems to cause problems someone is getting their feelings hurt.  Landon had loved coming up the past two summers and hanging out with Karlee’s friends.  Trisha expressed she wants more structure in our family gatherings.  I told her this is not realistic.  We come to the cabin to relax and get away from the structure of life- to just chill and  relax in the sunshine, enjoy the lake, boating, playing game outside- is more than enough for everyone.  She forgets I have been doing this for over 45 years coming to lake every summer- I have learned to chill- this became a huge problem with Jan Symes my sister -in -law.  She was bosy taking charge and making sure we eat at a certain time.  She would get mad at me when I was not in the kitchen cooking at 5pm when it was the hostess time of day in the old cabin kitchen.  It was to hot and I would wait till later when the sun went down to cook our dinner-  there was always so much contention over meal time and food.  I vowed I would not let this happen in our family unit at the lake.  I have tried really hard to blend the multiple family personalities which is very challenging.   Craig and I got up early Saturday morning  and took charge.  I cooked the crepes she had planned and we had a lovely crepe breakfast.  It was in shifts as the family came into the kitchen to eat.  I was in the kitchen from 8am till 1:pm cleaning up the last of breakfast, when the Burbidge family was hungry and some of the younger kids who ate early morning they were ready for lunch.  I was done and needed to sit down.  It was frustrating as I saw that the Burbidge family did not eat with us.  Yet this was the meal she had planned for everyone that morning. Natasha arrived Friday evening and had planned meals for the the next three days, coordinating with Trisha in their meal planning to bring extra food when I told her not too. It was annoying then to see Trisha interact with the Burbidge family clan and then exclude her own family.  She could entertain them and not be resentful but it is ok to push us aside - at least it felt this way to me.  Later that afternoon I told her she needed to talk with her sister Shannon and communicate her frustrations.  She was not happy about it- she went storming out of her room mad- entered Shannon’s room saying mom says we need to talk.  Which they did!  I told her she is harboring feelings that need to be resolved with her sister.  She told me the night before we don’t communicate and we all swept it under the rug.  I told her this was her time to talk things out that I can’t fix- this is between her and Shannon.  Well they visited for over three hours and missed our dinner which was just fine.  Tasha and I took charge and fixed dinner for everyone.  They had planned sweet pork salad and burritos.  Trisha had already cooked all the pork and it was ready to go. We all had a great dinner.  After dinner I had to rest I was beat before I could clean things up.  Luckily some of the family, Craig, Saydee, Buck started cleaning up the dinner mess- it is too much work for one person to handle and can see why Trisha had totally exhausted herself the last three days cooking all the meals.  But she had taken that on herself and I allowed her to be in charge -it is not lack of planning on my part- in their long talk luckily Ryan was able to be there and help Shannon to understand and unpack all that was expressed by Trisha and all her frustration with the lack of communication from their family which has been very challenging for us all in the family.  I have just tried to work around it and find solutions that work for me and lower my expectations and not get mad if things don’t go my way.  Wr have lots of personality to work around when we are together for an extended time-  I was glad they had this time to talk things out.  Chaudhry famiky left at midnight Saturday- Ryan was on call for work on Sunday and needed to get home.  Come Sunday morning the Burbidge family was packing up and heading out.  The party was over I guess.  I felt bad for Tasha bringing all this extra food that needed to be eaten.  Groceries are very expensive now and we do need to plan better to lighten the expenses for everyone.   I know how much  I spend and X’s that by three families combined I’m sure we well spent over $1400 for four days of food.  Trisha left crying saying she is a failure,  I told her she is not a failure and I love her very much we will try to be better in communicating.  They have alot going on building their new home in St George.   I don’t know if they will be back this summer or not.  They are the one family that does come the most during the summer months and have planned many trips over the years hosting friends.  We have been very accommodating as parents and have never once said no to anyone asking to come to the lake.  We have adjusted our own schedule many times over the years to accommodate their request.  This upset with Trisha did catch me off guard.  I have been thinking about it and trying to figure out how to go forward.  I’m trying to understand her feelings and find solutions to the family challenges as I call them growing pains.  Trisha is pushing to separate even more and to not get together on holidays that even includes Christmas.  She wants to have our family party not on Christmas Day.  I told her I gave up Christmas Eve when they all got married to the in- laws and not once did they ever rotate Christmas Eve or even try too.  So I moved my Christmas plans to later on Christmas Day after they all have their family time with their families.  She says it is not fun anymore.  The family dynamic’s do change over time and we have to work at keeping us our relationship going as the grandchildren grow up. She does not seem to enjoy gathering with the extended family.  When Tasha’s got married I agreed to rotate Thanksgiving every other year in 2009- so they could have time with the in in-law side of family and not feel pressure from both sides.  I had them all on the same rotating schedule which is challenging too.  It is hard for dad and I on the off year to know what to do with ourselves.  I miss having them on Thanksgiving.  It is boring just Craig and I all alone.  I yearned for a big family before I got married and have tried to create this in having big family gatherings and now my girls pushing me not to gather as family is really hard for me to let go.  I dont like being all alone.  I want family around me on the holidays.  I get really depressed,  I have no extended family to offset here in Utah only my girls and their families. So it makes me sad when we don’t gather.  Trisha has already said they are not coming to Christmas this year serval times and we need to plan it another day in the month- They broke off last year and it was the worst Christmas for me I can ever remember - I cried all day the day after it was such a disappointment.   Trisha did not make a smooth transition coming to the cabin with their family for their Christmas and then forcing me to choose between their family Christmas Day and getting together with the rest of the family. This was not the way!  Her younger sisters still want to gather.  2016 they went to California with the Burbidge family for Thanksging which I thought was great on our off year- we can’t compete with that- the next year they did honor our rotating familiy yeat and went again to California for Thanksgiving and now they have gone every year since over Thanksgiving for the past 9 years-  we miss having them with us and the association when we only gather a few times a year they are missed, now she is pushing me to separate our time together in the summer months- is the clarity I’m getting from her now.  It sounds like she wants a planned family reunion in the summer and to plan Christmas family gathering on another day - and I guess Thanksgiving is totally out for them in coming to any family dinner since they have not come.  Natasha did host a dinner for us a week early this year because they planned Thanksgiving. Holiday trip with Stacy and her family- I had surgery and was not able to host or go on their planned trip.  We were invited-  so with my reviewing my journals and trying to process what Trisha is really meaning ? I’ve come to the conclusion she is breaking off on her own from extended family gatherings on the holidays- she just wants one planned family event yearly - and Christmas on another day- I can’t honor her wishes Instill have three families that want to gather on the holidays- Sharlena is going thur her transition with Cole married now and working thru their family gather times- I totally understand. I have always tired to be flexible and not out pressure on any of my girls- but I do deserves to get my family together on the holidays if not me one of my girls hosting.  This separation at thr lake is not going to happen- this is our primary home and everyone is welcomed. I’m not going to separate family that want to come. We built this cabin to accommodate each family, and there is plenty of room if they will work together.  I love having them hair, the family and the chaos even though it is a lot of work.  I’m taking Church back into my hands.  I can see that I have let Trisha do too much and now she feels like she is entitled to more than she really should be.  I am very grateful for all that she does and she is the most helpful of all my daughters and I have let her do her thing for many years because she is so responsible. But to start blaming me that I am not planning things and that the communication is not there is not fair on her part.  I work hard and take charge when she is not around. It is a constant effort for me all summer long and she needs to remember that I am doing all of this to create family memories and try to build our family bonds.  It takes a lot of work and effort to keep the family close as they married and start their own families and blending all the many personalities.  Ryan and I are very giving and we do everything we can to try to accommodate everyone by the end of the summer. We are frazzled but we do it because we love our family and I know that it is very important.  I have my moments when I say I’m done too. That’s because I’m overworked and tired so I just take a step back and regroup.  Let the emotions settle hopefully she’ll calm down and get a little bit more clarity on what she really wants. We might not agree, but we can compromise and lower expectations and find the middle ground. All I can do is try to do better- I told her I would call more often and check in on her - I love my T-girl with all my heart- I love all my girls and their families, dearly - there are my very heart and soul of living on this earth. That’s what keeps me going each day without each of them. Life would not feel like much purpose for me.  I wanted a big family as a young teenager and I have been so blasted for heavenly father to bless me with that big family. Now the challenges is keeping us from growing apart.  It takes a lot of effort on my part and there are times I get discouraged, but I just keep going because I know that it’s very important.