Missing My Mother

Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.  First off, I get it. 

Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough. 

In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably suck pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.  

See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality. In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year.” Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.  For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.   Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this. I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.  Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.  But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.  Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.  But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.  But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug. Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.  Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons. But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

I’m still around.  Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?  It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow. 

Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it. What, you don’t believe me? 

Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me. 

You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me. 

You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow. 

I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints. 

Because this was one.  " This was posted on facebook by a friend and spoke to my heart!!"

Celebrating Christmas 2O21

We went to the annual Christmas tree lighting Last night.  So fun to visit with the locals at Bear lake.  The small town associations is fun.  They did a great firework show, serving donuts and hot coco.  

Matt and Laura- it’s a miracle Matt is with us this year.  He had his really bad stoke this time last year.  Laura stayed at our home in Draper for a couple of weeks while she went back and forth to the hospital.  They didn’t know if he was going to make.  He is is now talking, can’t walk but his is doing amazing well from what he endured.   

Decorating For Christmas

I started decorating for Christmas while at our Draper home the past four days.  It will be nice to come back and have it all decorated for the Holidays.  I love the Christmas season.  It is fun to get out my Christmas decorations.  I had the tree all up so we could take some family pictures - I told everyone to bring a Christmas sweater for a group family picture.  

Our Family Christmas Cheer Picture

All the girls in our Family

Natasha & Bridger Christmas Cheer  

We went to Trisha’s home this afternoon to play pickleball on their new court.  It was lots of fun to gather as family and enjoy the sunshine sun.  A fairly warm fall day for this time of year.  We said our goodbyes, Craig and I headed back to the lake.  Craig is conducting sacrament in the morning-  so we needed to get back up to the lake.  I have been gone 3 weeks since the passes of my mother.  Feel good to be back at the lake and sleep in my soft bed.  It will be nice to attend church tomorrow.   I really do miss my mother.  It feel so strange knowing she is no longer here.  I do have the faith and hope we will meet again during the glorious resurrection.  

Natasha And Her Family

Natasha and her family Thanksgiving  day -

The girls are dressed so darling-in their Ivy city matching outfits.

They also did a darling family photo shoot love these pictures of their family.  

Baby Cora is so Aborable !

Our Sweet Stacy

Stacy posted this message on her Facebook page - she is the sweetest daughter, love her so very much and thankful she is in our lives.  We celebrated her 37th birthday while in Texas for my mother’s funeral -  so glad she was able to be there with me.  I really needed one of my daughters for support.  Stacy is very family Supportive and so kind to her parents.  She had taken the time to write us many thoughtful notes over the years showing her appreciation to us as parents.  

-“‘I am thankful for Family ❤️  Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.- 

Stacy & Jake  Cousins- on her birthday Nov 19th 2021- 37 years old. 

Stacy and her little family Thanksgiving Day at our place in Draper.  

Chad Celebrated his birthday a week earlier.  They were born the same year in November.  They celebrated his special day as family and Stacy came to Texas to attend My mother’s funeral on her b-day this year.  She enjoyed having some alone time and a break from the demands of her family.  The kids are alot of work.   

Sabbath Day

It feels so good to be back in our Bear lake ward.  Craig is conducting the sacrament meeting today.  To my surprise we have the entire stake presidency sitting in the stand today.  He was very kind to me after sacrament meeting, taking the time to greet me and talk about the passing of my mother.    There are many members wearing mask with our ward having many who have been sick with the Covid illness.  

Emily Transtrum is speaking today, I served with her teaching the self-reliant class in the Stake.  She is also serving as 2nd counselor in Stake Relief Society. We can feel joy in our lives as we draw close to our Saviors.   To gain experience in life is so important to work at many things consistently  - what is my personal relationship with the Savior?   I’m working consistently in my relationship with him -  it is a life long experience.  Learn of me - first -  study the scriptures.     Strengthen our relationship thru personal prayer-  3rd Try to live the example of our Savior in our lives - how will we treat others- making time for the lord every day in our lives-  let every heart prepare him room - Christmas song- give the gift of giving to others so they can experience this room for their relationship with the Savior- How spiritual healthy is my heart - like a heart monitor-  harken and listen to the voice of the Lord - story of the lost watch -  silence helped to hear the ticking of the watch.  Learning to listen to the still small voice.  

Stake high Counsleor Brother Jensen -  what are my spiritual gifts and do I use these gift ?  Prophet Mormon - shares a gift to be sober and quick to observe.  We need to hear with our spiritual eyes to serve others.  Being quick to observe - not by our natural eyes but spiritually-  we need to work to receive to be quick to observe.   Time management -  shared in the gift of time-  then make an list of who I can serve daily-  make a list, I do what matters daily -  I ask questions and try to do better each day. Watch the self reliance video - return nightly and report to my Heavenly Father.  Very good talks today. 

Nice Time With All The Family

We had a very nice Thanksgiving this year with all our family.  Everyone was here but Cole on his mission.  We did get to visit with him.  He called and  veryone got to so Hi and visit with him.  He has only 7 more months left.  The time goes by all to fast.  

 

Thanksgiving Dinner 

Our sweet Ashtyn 

Stacy & Chad stayed at our place for 5 days.  They kept busy each day visiting with Family on the Towner side and our family.  Stacy is driving back to California Sunday morning.  Chad is flying out on Wednesday.  

The granddaughters has fun going thru my mother’s clothes I brought back for them to pick thru as a keepsake from Gaga.  She had good taste in clothes.  Not too many great-grandmothers can pass their clothes on to their great-granddaughters.  

Trisha and Saydee home from College.  

We did have a nice Day.  The food was all so yummy this year.  Chad smoked a Turkey and it was really yummy.  We love the smell of a Turkey cooking in the oven.  

Thanksgiving Day

The turkey is in the oven!!  I’m all decorated and ready for the family this year.  The girls are all bringing something to add to our dinner at 2pm today this makes it a lot easier on me.  Looking at my past text messages from my mother.  I really miss her just knowing she is gone.     

It’s hard not to get emotional.  The tears are flowing this morning early as I reflect upon her and the suffering she had to go thru in her last days.  She was in alot of pain.  Comforting knowing she is not suffering anymore.  Excited for all the family to arrive today.  

Feels Good To Be Home

We made good time on our road trip home.  We arrived back to Draper at 5:30 pm.  We stopped a couple times along the way- had lunch in Moab, filled our tank and some drinks and on the road.  Craig and I were ready to get out of the car.  I was tired but didn’t want to sit after sitting 8 hours.  I started unloading the car with the things I brought back from mother’s closet.  I got it all put away and sorted in piles for the girls to see if they want anything.  It felt good to clean up for day.  I wore an outfit from my mother’s clothes-  I have got to lose weight.  I feel so fat in the stomach - which is where all my extra weight seems to go.  Stacy arrived about midnight Monday night for the Thanksgiving Holiday with the kids.  She drove in from Las Vegas.  Chad flew in late last night.  I enjoyed the day with the Towner family.  Farrah and I went to the grocery store and brought lunch home from Cafe Rio.  They all went over to Stacy’s home about 4:30 pm.  I set up our Thanksgiving table upstairs and started getting things ready for our family gathering on Thanksgiving day.  It is our turn to host this year.  We host every other year.  Last year Craig and I stayed home by our selves due to the Covid restrictions.  This year not playing by those rules again.  This Covid scare is getting old.  I was so tired last night I went to bed early.   Stacy fixed us a yummy dinner at Natasha home.  The grandkid kids had fun playing with their cousins.  Craig headed back to the lake yesterday morning.  He wanted to check on things with us being gone two weeks.  It didn’t seem like we were gone that long.  He had a young men’s activity last night. I’m sure our cat was glad to see Craig.  Today I need to gather up chairs from Trisha-  maybe check Wallmart to see if they have any to buy.  I wanted to go see Shannon’s new baby bunnies, she has nine of them.  I’m cooking the Turkey and the girls are all bringing side dishes for our family feast.  Going to enjoy this day with the Towner family.   

The Drive Back To Utah

We got up early this morning and packed up our car with all the things I packed up from Mother’s room.  It took Michele and I sorting all week long what was in her room at Tommy’s house.  I have a car full of clothes, shoes and costume jewelry.  Mother loves clothes and fashion.  She had good taste in her clothes. I will let the girls see if there is anything they want.  We are making our way back to Utah today.  Not going to push it as much as we did coming down.   We will stop and get a hotel tonight to rest.  It took us 18 hours driving down.  Anxious to get back and get ready for thanksgiving.   The family is all coming over this year.   

Mother’s Funeral

The Funeral day has arrived.  It has been a week’s worth of work getting prepared. It was a race against the clock to get it all done.  Stacy flew in Friday night and was able to be with us.  I got up early to get dressed and be at the LDS church at 9am in order to sing at Mother’s funeral.  I practiced 45 minutes. The funeral home was very helpful in setting everything out.  There were Ward members attending from The Decatur ward that knew Mother.  Richelle’s family was very supportive.  Stacy read the obituary and shared memories from her sister’s in Utah who couldnt attend.   We lived streamed the funeral for them.  It didn’t start out as smooth as we would have liked but they got to hear most of it.  I spoke 2nd following my sister Michele.  She spoke her memories so tenderly.  I then sang my solo I had practice. It was hard to not cry, but I got thru it.  Tommy tenderly spoke and then my nephew Jake.  I know mother was proud of the outcome and felt her close by.  When leaving the Chapel Terry my cousin that lives by mother - said she was her favorite Aunt, touched me as I walked by.   I was so touched to see her I started to cry..   I have not seen her for over thirty years.  She look just like her mother Aunt Shirley. Justin came to the funeral and special for him attend.   Tommy gave a beautiful family prayer before the funeral started.  Saying our goodbyes is hard.  Wished John Wesley my brother could have attended. His entire family missed the entire events.  John has lung cancer and was not feeling well enough to attend. He just finished his last chemo treatments this past week.  He did missed a special time to heal from bad experience from Morher over the years.  Mother was very challenging at times.  I had gotten them Together the past few times when I was in town which was good.  We were able to get a few pictures with mother in her later years with John we displayed in the memoriy video.  The church hosted a lovely luncheon after the funeral services and we were able to visit as family and friends.  

Saying good bye is so hard - I have had my moments of tears.  We then drove an hour to lay Mother to rest next to John Wallace her beloved husband who died 30 years earlier.  Craig said a beautiful prayer dedicating her gravesite.  We all had our moment to place a flower on her casket and say our good byes.  It was a solemn moment to watch her casket lowered into the ground.  Good bye mother till we meet again in the glorious resurrection.  I know she was very pleased with all our efforts.  

Picture display 

Debbie, Michele and Richelle 

My Cousin Terry and I 

Mom and Daddy John’s head stone 

Mom’s beautiful flowers.  

At the grave sight- 

Mother’s Viewing

It was worth all the hard work this past week preparing things for viewing and funeral.  Every day I had a list of things to work one.  When upon arriving to the funeral home Friday night it was so beautiful to see mother place in the chapel in her beautiful casket and all the beautiful flowers- I was feeled with emotions.  Friday morning Michele and drove to the motuary to dress mother and put her make up on. It was a very reverent moment to honor our mother.  Michele did her make up and I curled her hair.  We took all the pictures for her display.  The funeral home set all her pictures out and disobeyed everything so lovely.  I loved her casket flower spray placed on top of her casket.  I was very pleased with how it all looked.  She received several Lovely flower arrangements.  Her memory video turned out so touching it was hard not to cry during it about the special times we spent with her over the years.   We were all very pleased.  Tommy was very emotinal, he had not see all the pictures we picked out, the tears flowed. Uncle Jerry, one of John Wallace’s brothers who is 85 came to represent the Wallace side of the family. So fun to visit with him.  He looked so much like Daddy John and talked just like him.  Beatrice her Spanish housekeeper, mother had all these years, also came to the viewing. Mother said she was her Spanish daughter.  There were family visitors on Richelle’s family side came, whom loved mother too.  A few locals from Boyd attended that knew mother when she lived in Boyd on the family farm, mom and John created together.  Dear Neighboors just up the road who knew mother for many years fun to visit with them.   An old man came who knew them when daddy John preached at Sabine Baptist Church also came.  I teared up when these few visitors attended.   Little Saydee- Tommy’s granddaughter took her first steps at the funeral home that evening.  We were all cheering her on and felt mother was right there with us.  I know there were many friends from Canton who would have attended but it was a three hour drive one way.  They did send their love in text messages.  I felt mother was very pleased with the outcome.  

Mother and her beautiful casket 

Beatrice and her family 

Uncle Jerry Wallace -  he is special to my heart-  he helped me get my first car living in Texas after Graduation- so I would have a car to drive.  Money was tight then and he was very caring in helping me. He is so kind and thoughtful.  Very touching to see them both.  Just as we were all leaving Tommy’s birth brother surprised Tommy at the viewing.  He did not know they were coming.  We were all beat when we got home.  A sigh of relief we had this behind us.  Now the funeral.. 

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Working on Our Funeral List

It has been busy each day since the passing of mother.  I have taken a day at a time getting things done, what needs to be done,   I worked first on the obit over the weekend - picking out photos for a memory video, I had to finianlize and email today.  We had to find three songs.  I had Jake help me.  

Fun to go thru her photos.  We found what picture frames she had in her trunk and put together a photo display to set out for the funnel -  we went shopping Monday evening for something to wear.  Michele and Richelle both found a pretty dress and I found a pretty roses flower blouse to wear with a skirt and pearl neglace from Mom's closet.  She has so many clothes.  We have been sorting her clothes and making our piles to take.  We ordered beautiful pink flowers for the funeral spray.  We worked on arrangements to transport her body to bluebonnet Hills memorial, to where she going to be buried beside Daddy John Wallace.  I met last night with a sister from the Ward who can play for me.  Mom picked a song to sing at her funeral -“ I walked today where Jesus Walked”. I actually sang as a teenager - she still had the sheet music.  So I’m going to try to relearn the song and sing at her funeral.  I haven’t sang this song for over 45 years.  It is a popular gospel song.  Today I took a walk and practice singing as I walked.  Today I was feeling tired- we have kept busy each day working on what needed to be done. Today we were able to clean the small little family upstairs where we have been hanging out.  It was a mess, working in the small room going thru all her paperwork and working on her picture display. It felt so good to get it all cleaned up.  I know it was bothering mother with all the mess.  I don’t think it had been cleaned since I was here last -in May for Mother’s Day.  Craig has been a great support.  It has been boring for him with not much to do.  I had him work on the life Insurnace claim today and filled out the paper work needed to file claim.  She does have some money in life insurance that will be used to pay for the funeral expensives. It's going to cost about $15,000 to bury her.  It will be a nice funeral. We are trying to make it nice.  We have been here an entire week already.  Tommy and Richelle have been great host fixing us breakfast and a nice dinner each evening.  Sunday we attended Sacrament in the Decatur Ward.  Love the Texan Saints.  They are all so polite and kind and love their spirit for life. The ward was bustling with members all chatting and filling chapel.  No one was wearing a mask from the Covid- like we are in Utah and other areas.  Fun to feel their enthusiasm.  It was the Primary program.  The primary children were darling and all sang so well they knew all their songs.  I asked the pianist that played to play for me singing a solo for the funeral.  We have been hanging out in mothers room with her hospital twin bed.  Laying on it to watch Tv in the evenings.  It was so funny the last night found Michele and Craig both asleep.  

Funeral Arrangements

It’s all very emotional as we work on the funeral arrangements.  Thursday night after the passing of mother, we went to our hotel to get some rest- I was beat and needed some sleep.  Michele slept over with us.  We meet Tommy at the funeral home on Friday to go over her funeral arrangements.  We were given a list of things to get down.  I started working on her obituary.  It was challenging for me but with Craig’s help we finally got something written.  John came over yesterday afternoon to visit.  He had a kemo- treatment for his lung cancer.  It is rough on him.  He has been limited on what he can do to help. We all slept over at Tommy’s last night.  It was so hard walking into mothers room and knowing she is not coming back.  I started to cry.  I miss her already just knowing she is gone.  Things are a mess in her room so I can see why she complained and frustrated because she couldn't do anything about it herself. She has been totally limited in what she could do the past three month.   Life has been hard for her with all the illness she has been dealing with.   Today we met with the funeral home to finialize things.  Mom has already picked out a very pretty casket to be buried in.  Perfect for her- white with pink roses in it and pale pink lining.  We need to work on her photo video history.  We will pick out pictures this weekend.  The emotions are draining.  I’ve spent a few hours this afternoon cleaning out files and her mail piled up from being so sick.  Things are a mess upstairs where she has been staying.  Michele and I are going to try to clean things up, we know she likes things clean and it was very frustrating to that she couldn’t do anything.  She broke her hip just trying to do a little laundry.  Her allowed space was limited going from her own home, to just a bedroom and small sitting area.  There is just no where to put anything, so it get messy fast.   I can see where it was frustrating for her. 

Passing of My Mother

My heart is breaking, my sweet mother passed away at 7:48pm the tears won’t stop💕

Seeing her body slowly shut down is heart breaking.  Sayin- Good bye is so hard.

Tuesday Tommy Called to let me know mother was in ICU and was not doing good.  I talked to the nurse and she was telling me my mother's body was shutting down.  Tommy acted like she was going to be ok, but after talking with the nurse I knew she was close to death.  Craig and I were on our way to the Logan Temple for sealings.  We were meet with two other couples in our Ward.  I was an emotional reck when we arrived.  Being in the temple gave me comfort and the hope we will be together again after the resurrection.  Craig had young men's activity to attend.  While he was gone I started packing.  I knew I had to get to Texas if I was going to see my mother before she passed and even then didn't know if I was going to make it in time.  I checked airline flights and was going to book a flight out the next morning early.  I wouldnt arrive until late afternoon.  When Criag got home we visited and Craig felt we should drive.  We packed up in a half of an hour and out the door.  It was 9:30pm when we left.  We drove straight threw.  The weather was really bad and the roads were really icy just outside of Evanston.  Luckily the roads got better an hour out, which is a sigh of relief.  I was a bundle of nerves as we drove.  praying the entire time I could get there before Mother passed.  In the wee morning hours there was a time they didn't think she was going to make it and called the family to gather.  In visiting with her they told her I was on my way.  Tommy asked if she wanted to fight, and mother repeated back she wanted to fight.  She held on.  We drove straight thru 18 hours.  We arrived at 5:30pm.  When we arrived she was still alive.  It appeared to me she had a stoke.  Her mouth was open and hanging to the right.  She couldn't talk even though she was trying.  Her eyes were open and she was looking around.  She was trying to comunicate with us.  All the family was able to call and talk to mother as we held the phone up to her ear to listen.  I knew she was aware, as I saw tears in her eyes.  It was very heart warming to see her vital go up as each family members called to visit with her.  All our children and grandchildren were able to say their good-byes.  That evening we took her off of all her medication.  They said she would not last long only couple of hours.  Well as the night progressed her vitals came up and she hung on.  Tommy would not leave the hospital.  Michele and Tommy stayed with her during the wee morning hours.  Craig and I had to get some sleep just after driving straight thru with no sleep,  I was so tired.  We came back to the hospital early morning and stayed the entire day.  She was hanging on.  We thought a few monemts during the day she was going to pass and then she her vitals would come back up.  By evening her vitals began dropping.  She was not getting the blood flow to her brain.  Her organs were shutting down.  I love you mother with all my heart.  We all gathered around her bed.  I held her hand.  It grew cold and the last gentle breath she was gone.

Fast Sunday/ Saving Ordinances-

Today has been Spiritual day to renew by baptismal covenants during the passing of the sacred sacrament -to stand as a witness of Jesus Christ at all times-  as I strive to live the commandments -I’m promise to have his spirit with me.  Pray I may have his spirit -   I felt the spirit prompt me to share my testimony of the Savior this day as I shared my personal testimony before my ward congergation.  It is always a little scary to get up in front of others. I felt my heart pounding and knew I needed on share my testimony.  I felt the spirit as I taught our gospel doctrine lesson today.  We discussed sections 127- 128- the Ordinace of baptism for the dead.  I felt things went well. There is never enough time on such a marvelous subject.  I tired to stick to the scriptures and the basic knowledge we learn from these sections. I’m so grateful for the blessings of the temple ordinance of baptism for the dead.  I pray I may continue to search out those ancestors that are waiting for this ordinace and the other ordinances in the house of the lord -beyond the veil- that they may be released from spirit prison and continue their eternal progression. 

128-15 And now, my dearly beloved brethren and sisters, let me assure you that these are principles in relation to the dead and the living that cannot be lightly passed over, as pertaining to our salvation. For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect.  128:17 -Malachi says, last chapter, verses 5th and 6th: Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

… let anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free.…128:24- Behold, the great day of the Lord is at hand; and who can abide the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appeareth? For he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fuller’s soap; and he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness. Let us, therefore, as a church and a people, and as Latter-day Saints, offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness; and let us present in his holy temple, when it is finished, a book containing the records of our dead, which shall be worthy of all acceptation.  I’m striving with all my heart to prepare the records needed for my ancestors.   I know this is the work of God !! 

Preparing For Gospel Doctrine Lesson

I teach this Sunday-  praying I feel well enough.  It has been a struggle for me since I have contracted the Covid-19 virus in July.  My body has been beaten down and has been challenging to bounce back.  I taught the first Sunday in September.  It was a challenge for me that week to prepare and still not feeling well.  I had October off due to General Conference.  Now it is November a new month.  It’s time to teach a lesson this Sunday.  I have been slowly preparing. This past week - love this section of the D&C 128 where baptism for the dead is introduced in more detail by the prophet Jospeh Smith while he is in hiding.  He felt this was of greatest importance and needed to instruct the Saints in how to perform this ordinance.  He wrote two letters which are section 127 and 128 -  

Doctrine and Covenants 125–128

“A Voice of Gladness for the Living and the Dead”. Ponder these words by Elder Ulisses Soares: “The best teacher is a good role model. Teaching something that we truly live can make a difference in the hearts of those we teach” (“How Can I Understand?” Ensign.  May 2019 -  I can say I have truely strived to learn about the ordinance of baptism ans have strived my entire life as an adult to serve in the temple of God by providing this ordince and other saving ordinances for my ancestors.  I have felt the joy - a voice of gladness for the living and the dead.  

Natasha’s Photo Shoot

I went with Natasha to her photo shoot downtown Salt lake yesterday noon.  It was fun to spend time with them.  I watched little Cora in between sessions- she is so aborable.  I really enjoyed my time.  Annie and I had fun picking up these large Autum leaves.  These are the biggest leaves I’veIer seen.  I so enjoyed my time together. with them. 

   

Thursday

I was dead tired from our outing yesterday - we slept in till about 8:30 am,  We came to the gym to get a workout -  it is slow for me gaining my energy back. I have managed to workout on the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes.  I listened to some videos about the fraud going on with the vaccination campaign.  It is a huge topic in our daily lives.  It domiatend our conversation with Matt and Mindy Thomas last night. Utah is seeing an average of 20 people dying daily from this virus right now.  The biggest problem is people are not aware of early treatments that could help prevent the progress of the virus could prevent death.  Our goverment is not allowing doctors to speak out for early treatment.  They make more money when they go to the hospital.  So why would they want us to learn about early treatments?  There is an evil conspiracy to cause death and pain and make lots of money from our suffering.  I pray for better days in the future when the Savior comes again.

Attending The Temple

I had scheduled an endowment session at the Bringham City Temple a month ago in advance online. We have to schedule our temple appointments in advance.  Craig had young men’s Tuesday night.  We talked about driving to draper that evening.  I check my calendar and saw I had scheduled an appointment Wednesday November 3rd at 2:30 pm - excited to be feeling well enough to attend the temple.  I got up early to tidy things up and clean up to attend the temple.  We had 65 miles to drive.  I had left my Temple clothes at our Draper home.  I was able to gather up white clothes to wear and just had to borrow a Temple packet when we arrived at the temple.  The Brigham City temple is so pretty.  It was a beautiful drive the Autum leaves are still on the trees in the valley.   I enjoyed our session.  We acted as proxy for a brother and sister Margaret and John Nichols who were born in the early 1800’s their parents were Anna Ruth Bailes who is a daughter of my old timer 5th great grandfather Thomas Bailes - she married a Nichols.  This branch of the family is missing on family search so I have been slowly working on their family chart,  finding sources for each child missing and adding to family search for their temple work to be completed.  I love the new changes to the endowment session.

After the session we drove to Kaysville to visited with Sharlena and her family.  We were able to catch them home and visit for a hour.  We then stopped by to visit with Matt and Mindy Thomas in bountiful - Bridger’s parents.  We had a rock chip in our windshield and Matt said he could repair it at his home after work.  We had a really nice visit with them.  We stayed for over an hour.  We didn’t head to our Draper home until 8:30 pm-  we were hungry and stopped at Toco Time in Draper.  It felt good to arrive to our Draper home -and rest -  this was a full day for us.  It felt good to be out and about after being sick for two weeks.  I’m slowly getting better-  I prayed at the temple for healing and renew health so I can be out serving my family and ward family.  I have been working on family history which is something I can do when I’m recovering.  This last illness has taken a toll on my health and setback I was not plannning on.  I was just starting to feel better from our Covid-19 illness.  This has been a blessed day.    

Working On My Book Links To Eternity-

After studying about baptism for the dead on Sunday-  it pricked my heart to get back working on the book I have started many years back- like 6 year ago-  I have titled "Links to Eternity"-  I have wanted to share my family history stories, the miracles that have happened as I have work on our family history over the course of my lifetime.  I have got to buckle down and get it written.  A history account I want to leave for my ancestors in knowing this is the work of God.   I started reviewing what I have done so far and copied and pasted in a new word document on my laptop computer-  I worked on it all day Monday - November 1st.   Can’t believe it is another month.  October ended up being a month of sickness for me to endure.  I’m feeling better- enough to start reading and working on my family history projects.  Late last night I shared with Craig my book so far.  It motivated him to start working on his personal history. We got out the notebook I have compiled of all his photo's growing up.  We just need to write his history according to the photo's that tell his life story.  We found he had started a history account in 1993-  it is a good start for him continue from.  We were up past 1am in the morning as he read his history account written so far.  He became very emotional at times as he read the difficult times in his life when his parents divorced.  We both had a challenge chapter in our lives, in our 9th grade year 13- 14 years of age.   We are so blessed to have found each other at this season of our young age.  

Halloween

Halloween was on a Sunday this year.  In Utah most communities participated in the Neighborhood trick or treating Saturday night so we can honor the Sabbath day.  Stacy living in California they went trick or treating Sunday evening.  I  did not feel well enough to host a family party this year.  I called and visited with the girls and told them to be sure and send me pictures.  I stayed home from church again this week.  My third week of missing church.  This illness has taken its toll on me.  I’m just so nauseous, weak and just don’t feel well.  It hurts to move.   The initial movement my legs and arms burn inside, the only way to describe it.  I took the time to read and study for my up coming lesson- on Baptism for the dead ordinance.  Craig left at 9:30 am and I began my study time till 2pm.   I started fixing us dinner for when Craig arrives home from his church responsibities at 2:30 pm most Sundays. I fixed us a yummy Sunday Salmon dinner.  As the day progressed the kids sent me pictures of their Halloween fun  dressed in their costumes for the year.  So fun to see the pictures it cheered me up. Missing them all so much and wishing I was well enough to make the rounds visiting them all.  

Sharlena with their cat 

Austin 

Sharlena and Dave 

Aubrey 

 

Jacob 

Stacy 

Stacy and little Enzo

Enzo standing in their decorated front porch.  

Towner family Carving pumpkins 

Farrah 

Nataha’s kids dressed as Harry Potter theme this year.  Love this picture of baby Cora as the Owl with her crying so funny! 

Annie & Winiston 

Lincoln 

Our darling Ashtyn- so pretty