She has been married four times. It has been something she has done when she can no longer deal with the pain of her relationship. She walks away. Cut them out of her life. Why can't I do this myself? I want to get as far from her as I can. This is her last text to me this week that has been very hurtful.
Yes all my feelings are coming out today I haft to get it out of my system it's killing me to see our family end this way but I can't stand by and have you kill me this way so there is no money left to give you kids and thank God for that I was hoping to leave all of you quite a bit but it would all came from Quention because John and I never had that much and it's long gone on all the kids so what Quention and I had was worked hard for I slaved on the ranch for 20 yrs . And I'm sorrow I lost the way I did but it happened but no matter what you think it did not go to Allan . But it's gone and if that's your anger I'm sorrow for you but to tell you the truth I'm glad it's gone because the truth come out . Michelle said I blew her inhertance, well she has more then got hers. I've spent a fortune on her long time ago was even giving to her when John was alive and he told me to never do that . And John Wesley drained me for years so what good did it do so I've made lots mistakes John don't even talk to me that's the pay back . I don't care what you all say I've been good to all you kids you just don't remember all the stuff you all have said about me????
Tommy is the only one that's ever respected me but now he has other forces on his side and he has another family now that Richelle and the boys like better then me and that's ok I'll just drop out of the picture and let them be happy
But I'm drawing up my Will and because Tommy had helped me from the time he was a little boy if there is anything left it will go to him and I'm stating the house here is his home when it's sold it belongs to him none of it will go to me . So this will not be a shock to any of you and Tommy has power of attorney for me all those years that's how John and I wanted it to be and I still do want it that way. He has a level head and has never made me feel less as a mother . And I respect that of him . I'm hating all this has happened and our family is all torn apart but I guess it was already torn apart my boys don't speak And Michelle is living with John unmarried that breaks my heart but I've not judged her or ever said a word and have opened my arms to John and accepted him just like it is and as for Jake I've been a great grandmother to him from the time he was small he came to stay with me in the summer, it makes me sad he has turned against me but what's done is done . I'm sad I wanted to still visit you and your grandchildren because I love all of them but that will never happen now ..
I'll have a future now so you will no Kenneth and I both feel there is no need to Wait so he asked me to marry him and told me to set the date at our age why wait we don't have much time left to do the things we like to do , he is helping a guy that has cancer right now but only until April when he has to harvest his wheat but we don't want to wait so he will be back here and we are going to go ahead a get married . So
I'll be making him power of attorney and after he dies Tommy will still be the power of attorney. I'm letting you know so this will not be a shock to you.
Kenneth is s very dedicated members of the church and I respect him for that and he is lonely just like I am and we just want a little happiness as adults our days of raising children is over and we both want an adult life and I'm A country person I love the country so I'll be happy
The hurtful thing is I have tried to love her and help her. I only have had a power of Attornery this past year to help her with her bills. She forgets that a year and a half ago she had an emotional breakdown because of this Internet scammer Alan Williams, she financially reached rock bottom when I got to Texas she only had $50 to her name in her checking account she had no money left she's givin the rest to Tommy as purchased towards the house Tommy owns but Tommy never signed the real estate contract so she doesn't legally own the house yet. Long story short had she had the money she would've given the rest of it away to the Internet love scammers so we're glad that that little bit of it is still in the house and Tommy will pay her at the sell of the home. I have just tried to help her clean up the mess that she's made she's obviously not been responsible for her financial responsibilities for the past three years. Over 80,000 in credit card debt and she doesn't have the money to pay it she doesn't own a home and she has a car payment $700 a month. three years ago she had a nice little nest egg and everything was paid for, so she is definitely made some bad choices. And she gets involved in this Internet love scam that's been going on for three years and she will not let it go. so finally as power of attorney she leaves me no choice in trying to help her, I've had to do the tough things and that's to take the data off her cell phone and close her Gmail account which I know she was not going to like. I hated having to do this to her but something has got to be done. I talk to the FBI and that's what they told me to do. We have been trying to reason with her to give up this Internet love scam it's taking her nowhere but down a dead end street and is not ending well. we have tried to reason with her, all of her kids and she will not listen to any of us. it has been so difficult this past year and she just keeps on lying to me. I was so upset with her last December she was supposed to get a settlement of $7000 for some property from Oklahoma she told me that the guy never paid her and she lied for months about it saying that she was going to have to foreclose on the guy because he never paid the final payments. Come to find out the check was mailed to her at Christmas time and she cashed it and spent every bit of the $7000. Apparently she had given it to this Alan guy or one of the Internet scammers and the money just keeps going out the window. She gets angry and then blames us kids for all her problems. she attacks like a tiger. The most hurtful is how she treats the rest of us kids. Tommy is the golden child and she gives everything to Tommy. No doubt Tommy and his family has taken advantage of her all these years and have actually expected her to do for them financially. there are no boundaries in the relationship, what is hers is there's. I'm not going to win the battle, I've had to step out of the picture. John Wesley a couple years ago just said he has had enough and he walked away from her, he basically divorced her, he does not want her to be a part of his life at all and she doesn't get it. Her last texts said that she is changing her Will, that Tommy would receive all of her inheritance which is very sad when she has three other children that she keeps beating up emotionally and pushing us away, I just don't understand her. I am her oldest child and her blood related child, Tommy is her adopted child and youngest and there's no blood relation whatsoever and she treats her three older blood related children as if we are the stepchildren, it is the strangest thing. My mother is a very narcissistic personality everything is about her, whatever she's upset about she takes it out on her children. I'm so tired of the repeated cycle over and over obviously I'm allowing it. I just want to be happy and have a healthy relationship with her, she makes it so hard there is always a storm when you're around her about something and she will be so mean and cruel by the words that she says. It's never the truth it's always a twisted perception. This last week I feel so discouraged, this family affair is a fairy tale. I had a terrible father that deserted me as a little girl. A stepfather that sexually abused me for many many years and my mother that did not protect me from any of that, she emotionally has abused me over and over and over. I have felt like just giving up on our relationship as mother and daughter. I keep trying because I have the eternal perspective that we are an eternal family in heaven and that she is the mother heavenly father gave me, so I keep trying to make things work but it just seems unbearable this week. Her hurtful attacking words are so hard to deal with and she always messes things up and makes everything about her, she never acknowledges my feelings, what I'm going through. I really do feel that my mother has a mental illness. I've tried to be sympathetic in knowing that she's not capable in someways and Ive just prayed for the patients that I need to help her. Since I was a little girl I feel like I have been responsible for my mother I am my mother's mother trying to do the right things when she is emotionally out-of-control. The problem is she's very stubborn and will not allow any input from me. I just walk away. If I do try, things get ugly. She just becomes even more mean and attacking you're not going to tell her what to do!! when I was 17 years of age things were so bad with her, I had a father sexually abusing us kids, she put us back in the home with him she was an emotional wreck. I had no choice but to leave and live with an LDS family in Utah in order for me to survive myself. I was so glad to get married and to create my own little family, a family of peace and kindness. I did not want to have all this turbulence in my own life. I felt I have accomplish this. The only storms that have been so unbearable are the ones that she brings and she keeps coming in and out of my life bringing me so much unhappiness by her unkind words, I don't even live by her and she can be so destructive to my emotional well being. I can't do it anymore !!!! I'm just so done and so tired of it all. It's in your hands Lord, I give her to you, it is just unbearable, I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is so broken and so sad inside this week. Wednesday I wanted to just break down and sob, but I knew I couldn't go there, I had to work at the Draper Temple and I needed to be strong to perform my duties.
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