Craig and I drove up to the lake to get church clothes for the funeral and Rest. Craig has been struggling with illness still. We both are feeling sad by the actions of his siblings- I had a good cry- my heart aching from the unkind words directed to me by Shelly - Craig's sister said to me about not really loving their mother Lavon - it came out the blue while we were eating lunch - attaching me - she did not want me at their mothers home at all while they are working on packing up her things and moving out of her home. I was stunned it has only been two days of her passing and Shelly was mad as a hornet at Scott for taking things out of the house without her approval. She was back biting her brother Scott and then attacking me. I have been feeling I’m the orphan of the family and that I’m not accepted as a sister still after 50 years of our relationship and she didn’t think any higher of me than this- when all I have wanted is their love and acceptance to be apart of a family here on this earth. Now I’m being cast off -no concern for my love of their Mother and what she met to me- all over the material things. I just couldn’t believe they were already working to clean out her house and she was not evening in the ground yet- I only responded by crying and leaving packing up our things and leaving- since then crawling into a hole of deep sadness and never wanting to see any of Craig's siblings due to their unkindness - I’m so done with them - Craig said he didn’t care he ever see them again either which I know is not true we are just hurt !!
Have you ever felt like you've given it your all and can't do it anymore? Like you have a million things you are supposed to be doing and that you should be doing but you just feel overwhelmed. Or you know you should be a better person and you should be kinder and less judgmental but then you look at someone and you immediately judge the shirt they're wearing.
You know you want to be better and do what God wants you to do but you feel like you've given it your all and you don't know if you have it in you to keep trying.
I know I've felt that way.
But I also know that in those moments all God wants you to do is to keep trying. Just keep trying. Because the second you give up, Satan has won. So don't give up. Even when you feel like you don't have any more to give.
President Nelson said, "the Lord loves effort" as long as you keep trying the Lord will bless you for your efforts.
"And behold, all that He requires of you is to keep his commandments...if ye do keep His commandments He doth bless you and prosper you."
- Mosiah 2:22
That's all He asks. Don't give up. Keep trying.
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